Indecision

Beloved master, I experience indecisiveness like a disease that always leaves me uncomfortable and paralyzed. When I have to make a choice, the yes and the no are both so possible that I just don't know.... What is there that I don't understand?

Sushama, this is your inheritance. This is what your forefathers have given to you -- indecisiveness -- because they have created a split in your being: whatever is natural in you is wrong, and whatever is not natural in you is the ideal to be realized. It creates such a dilemma, because that which you want to do is condemned, and that which you are not even interested in is praised. If you choose the ideals, you have to repress your nature. That will be a constant struggle within you. If you choose nature, you will feel guilty that you are forsaking the great ideals. For example, celibacy.... All the religions have been teaching celibacy as one of the greatest moral characteristics. In fact, it is a crime to preach celibacy; celibacy is absolutely against nature. But those who choose to be celibate become superior beings at the cost of…

Beloved Osho, living decisively, knowing what one wants, seems easy. However, my reality is that I can never make up my mind about anything. I can always see both sides of an argument and can never decide which is right. So I am left hanging between the two. One part of me, listening to you, feels this is okay, but it makes me feel static, as if I am only partially alive. Please comment.

What I have been telling you is that it is the nature of the mind to be in a limbo. It is the nature of the mind to be in the middle of polar opposites. Unless you move away from the mind and become a witness to all the games of the mind, you will never be decisive. Even if you sometimes decide -- in spite of the mind -- you will repent, because the other half that you have not decided for is going to haunt you: perhaps that was right and what you have chosen is wrong. And now there is no way to know. Perhaps the choice was better that you had left aside was better. But even if you had chosen it, the situation would not have been different; then this which would have been left aside would haunt you. Mind is basically the beginning of…

First of all, you have asked, “Then what should that person do—choose the marketplace or the forest?”

Choose, and you are lost. In choice is the world; even if he chooses the forest, it is the world—because in choice is the world. And if he stays in the marketplace without choosing, that is sannyas. Choicelessness is sannyas; choice is the world. Therefore there is no way to choose sannyas—sannyas happens. So many people come to me. I see two kinds of sannyasins—those who make it happen, and those to whom it happens. Those who try to make it happen say, “We’re thinking about it; what you say appeals; we’re considering.” “We’ll take sannyas someday—just not now. Right now there’s so much to do; yes, what you say does make sense.” I have heard: Mulla Nasruddin was sitting in the mosque and the preacher gave a sermon. In the middle, in a very dramatic way, he asked, “Those who want to go to heaven, please stand up.” Everyone…

Osho, like Krishna, do you also tell us that all our resolves are false?

People come to me and say they are in great difficulty. If they do not take sannyas, day and night there is regret: “We are falling behind; others are moving ahead. Others are courageous; we are weak, cowardly; others are daring.” So guilt persists in the mind; there is pain. If they do take it, then troubles arise: “What mistake have I made!” People ridicule them. People say, “He too has gone mad. You have dropped your mind! Lost your intelligence!” Don’t take it, and regret catches you; take it, and regret catches you. Then what will you do? Whatever you do, regret will seize you. The meaning of regret is only this: you are divided. One part of the mind says, “Take it”; another part says, “Don’t.” Whichever of the two you obey, the one you did not obey sits inside, waiting for the right moment to say to…