According to Osho, self-care outweighs service because selfishness is a natural, life-sustaining impulse; unselfishness imposed by religions is unnatural and breeds hypocrisy and bargaining. Until one’s separate self matures and dissolves into the universal through awareness, ‘service’ remains ego-driven. Caring for yourself first allows authenticity; from a fulfilled center, compassion arises spontaneously—not as duty, but as natural overflow.
Fill your own cup first; real kindness flows naturally when you are whole, not from guilt or rules.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved Osho, you teach your sannyasins to take care of themselves before they try to take care of others. This seems to go against many of the religions in the world that teach service to humanity and it must appear a very selfish attitude to them. Can you speak on this?
Nobody is ready to get married to a widow. She is a used woman. Woman is a thing, used by somebody else -- how can you use it? Man is not used; he always remains fresh, pure. He can get remarried. In India for thousands of years the woman has suffered so much because of this idea that she has to remain a widow. Millions of widows... they cannot use any other color than white. They have to shave their heads, they cannot use any ornament. In every possible way it has been made clear to them that they have to live almost a dead life. They cannot move in the society as other women do -- particularly in festivals they are not supposed to. At marriages they are not supposed to be present, because their very presence, their very shadow, is a calamity. And the widow is told that…
I say to you that to be selfish is to be healthy. There is nothing sinful about it. In my vision, men like Mahavira, Buddha and Christ are the most selfish men on this earth. Why? -- because they live purely for themselves, seeking their self, their soul, their bliss, their freedom, their God. And, curiously enough, they happen to be the most altruistic people who walked this planet. The reason is that when a man discovers himself and finds his enlightenment and bliss, he immediately begins to share it with others. He is now on a new journey -- a journey of sharing his joy, his benediction. What else can he do? When clouds are full they rain; when bliss is full it overflows, it shares itself with others. And this too, is selfishness. The same is true with misery.
Osho, yesterday you said that jealousy is included in respect. I have immense respect for you, but the jealousy inherent in it keeps poisoning it, and I feel guilt and pain. Does reverence transcend this poison-laced respect?
It needs a little explaining—it's a delicate point. Whenever you respect someone, you do so because you see in that person something you do not have. You respect because you glimpse in the other something you would also like to possess. A beggar respects an emperor because he, too, longs to be an emperor. So on the one hand he respects, and inside he also envies. Because he is not yet an emperor but wants to be. You have attained what he wants to attain. He respects you as skillful, successful: “I stand far back in the line; you have gone ahead to where I should have been.” So you are powerful, clever, intelligent, strong—he respects you. But inside a fire of jealousy also burns—if he gets the chance, he would like to be in your place and push you aside. And if the beggar gets that chance, he will…
These people here are not social workers or social servants. These people are here for their absolutely selfish ends. And I teach them to be selfish, because to me that is the only way to be in the world. And if everybody is selfish, the world will be very very beautiful. These do-gooders are very dangerous people. They themselves are nowhere and they go on interfering in other people's lives. My approach is very selfish. First, look at yourself. First let the light be there. First let love be there. First let some inner treasure be available there... and then you can share. How can you share something that you don't have? You want to be loving -- good! But do you have love? You would like to be compassionate, but do you have compassion? Deep inside anger is boiling -- and people are trying to be compassionate.
Question: BELOVED OSHO, SHOULD WE BE SELFISH? There is no other way. Nobody can be unselfish -- except hypocrites. The word `selfish' has taken a very condemnatory association, because all the religions have condemned it. They want you to be unselfish. But why? To help others.... I am reminded: a small child was talking to his mother, and the mother said, "Remember always to help others." And the child asked, "Then what will the others do?" Naturally the mother said, "They will help others." The child said, "This seems to be a strange scheme. Why not help yourself, rather than shifting it and making things unnecessarily complex?" Selfishness is natural. Yes, there comes a moment when you are sharing by being selfish. When you are in a state of overflowing joy, then you can share.