According to Osho, your transformation is blocked by fear, especially the fear of making mistakes, and by neurotic time-consciousness. Worrying about using time 'rightly' makes you stagnant. Drop cowardice, stop guarding against errors, and live joyously, experimenting and learning. Commit new mistakes, not the same ones; through fearless exploration you grow and naturally return 'home.' Eternity makes haste unnecessary.
You’re stuck because you’re scared to mess up and rushing time—relax, try things, learn from fresh mistakes, and change will unfold.