According to Osho, 'missing' seduces us because it keeps the ego alive: the sense of 'me' feeds on seeking, desiring, and the gap between what is and what should be. Living for distant goals enlarges this ego, while presence ends it. When the 'should' drops and we are simply herenow, the ego collapses and freedom (wu-wei, effortless being) reveals itself.
We like missing because chasing makes our ‘me’ feel important, but if we stop chasing and just be here now, that fake ‘me’ fades and peace shows up.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
What is so attractive about missing?
Devaraj, it has a tremendous attraction, because it is only through missing that the ego can survive. It is only through searching, seeking, desiring, that the ego exists; it exists in the tension between that which is and that which should be. The moment the "should" disappears, the ego collapses. Hence all ethical systems, all moralities, are nourishments for the ego. The moral man is the most egoistic man in the world. And the mechanism is very simple. Seeking, searching, you live in the future, which is not; and the ego can exist only with that which is not, because it itself is not. If you are in the moment, in the present, the ego has no possibility of surviving even for a single moment. The present is and the ego is not, like light is and darkness is not. Bring light in, and darkness disappears. Even to say that…
Osho, tell us of some lure that would set us moving toward God—some temptation that would engage our mind in God-realization.
Difficult today, difficult tomorrow; the day after, not so difficult—if you persist and don’t jump up, “Oh, a bad thought—get rid of it!” The witness has nothing to do with good or bad. Thorns have the same worth as flowers. We label; the witness does not. Soon, an amazing thing begins: now and then a gap appears—an interval. A thought comes, then the next does not; a space remains. In that empty space, the first glimpses begin. In that emptiness, even you are not—there is only emptiness. That is the door. Keep at it, and thoughts lessen; spaces grow. It’s like a road where a person passes, then for an hour no one—emptiness. A thought appears on the screen, then none for a long while; the screen is blank. From that blankness, your first contacts with God begin—because in that moment you are present. Thought can take you to past…
Osho, I feel I am missing you. It makes no sense to me what I should do so that I don’t miss you. You are becoming deeper and deeper, and I find I am not ready for this depth. Will I go on wringing my hands like this?
The very language of missing or not missing is the language of greed. Drop greed. Join me in celebration. “I will miss”—this means you are looking through the lens of greed: Let me secure everything, let everything be mine, let me close my fist on it all, let it all be in my strongbox—money there, meditation there; the world too, and God too. If you keep such greed, you will certainly miss. You will miss—because of greed. Drop this language of missing and not missing. Here I am not giving you anything. Here I am taking things away from you. Nor am I sitting here to give you some knowledge. Join me in celebration for a while; hum along with me. Walk a little way with me. Take two steps with me—enough. If once you get the taste of the Ultimate, then there is no fear. Then whether I am…
Question: BELOVED OSHO, WHAT IS NEEDED TO NOT MISS YOU? Prasad, only one thing is needed not to miss me, and that is: You have to remember constantly that in every mind, in every person who comes in search of truth, the ego plays a very cunning game. I will tell you one story. It is said that one of the great Zen masters Bokoju used to ask every newcomer: "Have you realized that the path of disciplehood is very difficult? Before you enter on the path, it is my duty to make you alert to all the difficulties, arduousness, hostilities; it is an uphill task. Are you ready, or you have come here just out of curiosity?" The man said, "No, I have come here to find the truth, but if it is too difficult to be a disciple then what about making me a master?
Question: First question: Osho, will I miss you again this time? But the ego has devised all these arrangements. If one arrangement is lost, it quickly sets up another. “If not wealth, then knowledge.” People labor to collect knowledge! They pile up scriptures upon scriptures. Nothing of their own. Nothing truly known. All borrowed, stale—trash. What has not been born of your own experience is trash. To believe in it is foolish. Only fools believe. The intelligent person seeks; fools believe. The intelligent one attains, then believes. Fools believe first; the question of attaining never arises, the need to attain vanishes. And the more you believe, the more puffed-up you become. Look at the theist—what swagger! He struts. He looks at the atheist as if to say, “You will rot in hell! My heaven is assured!