Feeling unworthy means you’re waking up; keep going and your new wings will grow.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Osho, for the first few years of sannyas I lived in the illusion that I was a sannyasin. Those were great days of happiness and joy. But now when you speak of the flowering of sannyas, I find myself very unworthy. My feet have been uprooted from the ground, but wings have not yet grown. What is this state in which on the one hand I am absorbed in kirtan, dance and devotion, and on the other hand meditation and awareness also take hold? And this world—uff—how long will it go on?
“My feet have been pulled up from the ground, but wings have not yet grown.” Right. You have been pulled away from where you were headed. That direction is finished; the flavor there has ceased. But to set you on the direction where I want to take you, a certain capacity must come within you. You had skills for the old road. The old road has been removed; you have been set on a new one—but the skill for the new road must be learned. The roots have been broken—good; your feet have been uprooted from the ground—good. That is the first step toward flying in the sky. But the wings must be grown. Or, if they are present, they have not been used for lifetimes; you must learn their use. Still, it is auspicious that at least half has happened. Your feet are no longer on the ground. There…Read the full discourse →
Osho, when I first came to you, it felt as if I had reached you because of some special worthiness. But now, day by day, I am becoming aware of my unworthiness—and of your boundless compassion. Osho, please accept my gratitude and bless me.
The sense of being worthy is unworthiness. The sense of being unworthy is worthiness. Whoever thinks, “I am worthy,” will have a thickened ego. Whoever understands, “I am unworthy,” will have an ego that melts and flows. That’s why sometimes sinners arrive, and the virtuous do not. Even virtue becomes worse than sin if it starts adorning the ego—and it often does. Just last night I told a story. An old woman died. Angels came. She was very frightened, trembling after death. Her soul was shrinking. She was sure they would take her to hell. She had never done anything that could possibly qualify her for heaven—she was certain of her sins, aware of her unworthiness. The angels said, “Since you hold yourself so unworthy, we must take you to heaven. Just tell us if you ever did even one small good deed.” She said, “I don’t remember ever doing…Read the full discourse →
Another sannyasin friend said, ‘Osho is supremely compassionate,’ ‘Then why this distinction in the sharing of compassion—that only a chosen few receive the prasad of his ambrosial words?’ And hearing that very remark, I was reminded of my own unworthiness and backwardness. And I have begun to fear that perhaps for this very reason Osho may, in his own way, throw me out. Kindly be gracious enough to dispel our doubts and fears.
- “I am special; hence I was chosen.” Then you have gone astray. You miss at the very threshold. - “By grace alone I, unworthy, have been chosen.” Then you are on the right path. The Sufi mystic Junayd used to say in his daily prayer, “I am amazed—there is no worthiness in me, and yet I live. I have earned nothing, and this supremely blessed life has been given to me. I am amazed, for there is no reason why such peace should shower upon me. Where people burn in such restlessness, why does this peace rain on me?” There was a strange line in his prayer: “O God, I cannot believe You are just. You must be partial toward me—showering so much on one so unworthy.” And that was his worthiness. To see oneself as unworthy is worthiness on the path of the spirit. The day you take…Read the full discourse →
Beloved Osho, the gift of being here with you is overshadowed by a sense of unworthiness. It troubles me because I don't feel as available to you as I could be. Can you help me to dissolve this?
It is something very essential to understand, that people who are really worthy always feel unworthiness, and the people who are really unworthy never feel it. Not feeling it is part of unworthiness; feeling it is part of worthiness. The question is from Kirtan. It is good that one feels it, because there are no limits to unworthiness -- you can go as high as you desire; it is just like the sky. And to feel it means the ego is dissolving. The ego never feels unworthy; it wants to prove that everybody else is unworthy and only it is worthy. It is humbleness that feels unworthiness and pain which can give birth to a new life. So don't take it as a problem. Accept it as a blessing. Let the ego completely dissolve. It cannot stand the feeling of unworthiness. There are a few things in life which function…Read the full discourse →
Osho, I want to take sannyas. Am I worthy, and has the auspicious moment arrived?
And because I don’t tell you to leave your home, there is an added difficulty. Mahavira did not give his people as much trouble as I am giving you. Buddha did not give as much trouble. I am putting you in a very paradoxical arrangement: making you a sannyasin and not separating you from the home. You will sit at your shop in ochre robes—it will be a great awkwardness. In ochre you can sit in the forest—there is no trouble then. At a shop you do not sit in ochre—there is no trouble then. I am creating a contradiction in your life. I am saying: live in water and be like a lotus. The rose has no such difficulty; it doesn’t live in water. The lotus has the difficulty—to be in water and untouched by water. To be in the marketplace and untouched by the market. To be in…Read the full discourse →