What happens to relationships after taking sannyas?

I want to take sannyas but my wife is opposed to it. She thinks that after taking sannyas I will not be interested in her. I cannot deny her doubts as I have no experience of sannyas. Can you please help us Osho?

Now, Pradip, you are an Indian. You may be living in the West -- that doesn't change much, it only changes you on the surface. That change is skin-deep, or not even that -- maybe that change is only as deep as the cosmetics go; it is superficial. Deep down you are an Indian -- deep down you are as afraid as any Indian is afraid of love, deep down you are as condemnatory of love as any Indian is. Deep down you know sex is sin, your wife knows sex is sin. Deep down, love is a bondage -- that's what you are conditioned to believe. And now trying to become a sannyasin is taking a risk. In fact this is your love affair -- hence the wife i. afraid. You are falling in love with me: now she will feel jealous. And in a way she is right…

There are matriarchal societies still alive where man is weaker than the woman, because they have lived in a different way. The woman is the food gatherer, she is the hunter; the man takes care of the children, looks, takes care of the house. The man is a housewife and the woman is really the husband. And strange phenomenon: in these matriarchal societies the man is weaker than the woman. It is just because of certain historical situations that man became more powerful -- it is not natural -- but once he became more powerful he used his power to dominate the woman. Now all over the world the married woman carries signboards that she is married; no man carries any signboard. It is a strange thing.

Psychological memory has to be dropped. Factual memory is okay, it is not a problem, it does not create any dust. If one can drop the psychological memory and can be new every moment, every day, then life becomes a joy. It becomes an incredible experience. Each moment brings new surprises. Each moment flowers go on showering on you from the beyond. Sannyas is a sunrise; hence the orange colour. It is the colour of the sky in the East just before the sun rises. It is the colour of the dawn, the night is over and the new day beings. A new chapter opens. Sannyasin is not a continuity with your past, it is discontinuous. Put a full stop on your past and start from ABC, fresh. Be a child again. Unlearn all the tricks that you have learned before.

What I mean by sannyas is a spiritual discipline so that one becomes a religious person, but it is not happening to me. What to do?

So don't go anywhere, don't renounce. Live it as totally as possible -- and live it as an integrated being. My emphasis is for an integrated being. You are not in the body: you ARE the body. Drop that nonsense of "I am in the body." Hmm? from the very beginning that nonsense makes a distinction, and then you are very far away from the body and a conflict arises. You start manipulating your body, you start controlling your body, you start doing things to your body. You become destructive, you become violent. Your so-called saints are all violent. Howsoever much they talk about nonviolence, howsoever much, it makes no difference. They are violent people. There are two types of violent people. The first type is violent with others; the other type is violent with himself. There are sadists and masochists. The sadists torture others; they become Adolf Hitler, Mussolini,…

That's what sannyas is: creating a right space, the right soil for love to grow, for love to expand. As your love becomes bigger, you become bigger. When your love is perfect you are perfect. There is no other way to be perfect. Only the perfection of love can bring perfection to your being. There are two ways to reach God: one is meditation, the other is love. A few people reach through meditation, a few people reach through love. Both are valid ways and both reach the same experience. When the meditator reaches the ultimate peak he suddenly finds love arising in his being, and when the lover reaches the ultimate peak he finds meditation happening of its own accord. On the way they are different, at the peak they become one. The path of meditation is arduous, it demands a little superhuman effort.