Miserable

Beloved Osho, why do I always feel so miserable? Have I ever really let you in? The moment I sit in front of you, all is gone. What is happening? Can't you take it all away?

Marpa heard about a master. He was searching and he went to the master, he surrendered to the master, he trusted totally. And he asked the master, "What am I supposed to do now?" The master said, "Once you have surrendered to me, you are not supposed to do anything. Just believe in me. My name is the only secret mantra for you. Whenever you are in difficulty, just remember my name and everything will be all right." Marpa touched his feet. And he tried it immediately -- he was such a simple man. He walked on the river. Other disciples who had been with the master for years could not believe it -- he was walking on the water! They reported to the master that, "That man, you have not understood him. He is no ordinary man, he is walking on water!" The master said, "What?" They all ran…

Why can I not live without misery?

You are miserable because you have decided to be miserable -- maybe the decision is unconscious. And you have to be conscious about the decision, only then can it be dropped. Because nothing can be dropped from the unconscious. The unconscious is a great preserver, it preserves everything. Once you make anything unconscious it will be preserved for ever and ever unless you make it conscious again and throw it. Your unconscious is a basement where you never go, and you always go on throwing things in the basement. Whenever you are miserable you repress it. Your eyes may be full of tears but you try to smile -- you throw those tears into the unconscious. You may be boiling with anger but you go on repressing the anger, the sexuality, the greed. You go on throwing all this into the basement, and there all these things are creating a…

It cannot happen in a state of misery. A miserable person is constantly distorting truth. He himself is in such a distortion. He himself is in so many pieces that whatsoever goes through him becomes something other than what is was. Just by passing through the distorted person, it becomes distorted. He is not empty; a miserable person is full of his misery. That is something tremendously significant to remember: a miserable person is very full -- of garbage, rubbish, but very full. The blissful person is very empty. He is just space. And through this emptiness god can flow into the world. Become empty, become blissful -- and they go together very well. If you are blissful you will become empty, if you are empty you will become blissful. It is impossible for the empty person to be miserable.

When life itself is so fulfilling, overflowing, so blissful, then what is that which makes a man miserable?

So an egoist remains miserable, because to be happy one has to be happy with that which one has. You cannot be happy with that which you don't have; you can only be unhappy with that. You can be happy only with that which you have. How can you be happy with that which you don't have? And ego is always interested only in that which you don't have. You have ten thousand rupees -- ego is no more interested in it. It is interested in twenty thousand. By the time you have twenty thousand, it is no more interested in it. It is interested only in thirty thousand. And so on, so forth... it goes on. The ego only gives you goals, but whenever those goals arrive, it does not allow you to celebrate. One becomes more and more miserable! As life passes, we go on gathering misery, we…