Hurt

We are in a strange state: if someone hurls abuses that do not apply to us, we may ignore them; but if someone tells the truth about us, it becomes very hard to ignore. Truth hurts more than untruth. So if someone says “thief” and you are deeply disturbed, your disturbance is giving news—you are a thief. If you were not, such disturbance could not arise; you might even laugh, “Some mistake has been made.” Only when the finger touches the wound do you become agitated. When it does not, you are not. I have heard: Abraham Lincoln criticized an opposing leader—harshly. That leader wrote to Lincoln: “Stop speaking untruth about me—otherwise it will not be proper.” Lincoln replied, “Think again. If you want me to stop speaking untruth about you, I will have to start speaking truth about you. Choose between the two.

Osho, when someone deceives and betrays me, or uses me like an object—what should I do in such a situation? I don’t want to hurt that person either. How can I find peace of mind? I feel broken.

In the tangles of life, others are never responsible; the whole responsibility is our own. You say that when someone deceives and betrays you, your heart is hurt. Think a little: the heart is not hurt by someone else’s deceit or betrayal. It hurts because you wanted that no one should deceive or betray you. It is the fruit of your desire. And it is not in your hands to make the whole world comply with your desire. It is in no one’s hands. But we have become accustomed to shifting the responsibility for everything onto others. It seems easy; it gives relief—the relief that I am not responsible. Now someone is cheating, therefore I suffer—so we say. But why did you want that no one should cheat you? And where is it in our hands to create a world in which there is no deceit and no hypocrisy? There…

If you permit, I will stay four months at her house; if not, finished." And the Buddha permitted: "Go and spend the rains at her house." Fire broke out among the monks: "This is injustice! He will be corrupted. Then you must give us the same permission." The Buddha said, "He did not demand permission; he left it to me. He did not say he needed it. And I know him. After four months we will see. Let him go. If a prostitute can drown his sannyas, then his sannyas was worthless. If he can bring the prostitute to the shore, only then does his sannyas have value. If your boat of sannyas cannot carry even one prostitute, what is its worth!" The monk stayed four months at her house. When he returned, the prostitute came behind him; she took initiation—she became a sannyasin.

Osho, I cannot control myself when insulted. What should I do?

Dheeresh, TIT FOR TAT -- till you become enlightened. And do it quickly, because once you become enlightened then it is very difficult to do anything. When somebody insults you, somebody insults you. You have simply to accept it: ais dhammo sanantano. So whatsoever you want to do, do it right now, finish it, because here you will soon become enlightened; it is not very far away. And it is natural that when somebody insults you you cannot control yourself. I have never been telling you to control yourself because control can't help. If you control you repress; control is another name for repression. If you can watch, watch; otherwise if there is a choice between repression and indulging, prefer indulgence to repression because indulgence will teach you a lesson. Repression won't teach you anything. And you are not a machine, you are a man. Warning in the year 2000:…