Aloneliness

Is sleep a state of aloneness?

No. Sleep as it exists is not aloneness. It is not oneness, it is not twoness, it is just unconsciousness. You are unconscious of that which is. In ordinary wakefulness you are conscious of the two. In ordinary sleep you are not conscious of oneness nor are you conscious of twoness. But in real wakefulness -- in meditation, in samadhi -- you are conscious of aloneness. There is a similarity and there is a difference also. In sleep, you are unaware of the two but not aware of the one; in samadhi, in meditation, you are aware of it. If you can become totally aware and there is no twoness -- as in sleep there is not -- then oneness happens. In sleep the mind goes to sleep. In samadhi the mind dies. So sleep and samadhi appear to be similar but they are not, because after samadhi there is…

Confrontation of oneself in aloneness is very fearful, very painful. What to do?

If just for three months you can be in total solitude, in total silence, not fighting with anything, allowing everything to be, whatsoever it is, within three months the old will be gone and the new will be there. But the secret is allowing it to be, howsoever fearful, painful, howsoever apparently dangerous, deathlike. Many moments will come when you will feel as if you will go mad if you don't do something and involuntarily you will start to do something. You may know that nothing can be done, but you will not be in control and you will start to do something. It is just as if you are moving through a dark street in the night, midnight, and you feel fear because there is no one around and the night is dark and the street is unknown -- so you start whistling. What can whistling do? You know…

I am experiencing something that I am calling "the pain of myself". Can you say what this is?

Vandan, the ordinary life of humanity is a continuous effort to avoid oneself. Everybody is doing it, in different ways of course. Nobody can sit silently and be alone. Watch yourself, how fidgety you become if there is nothing to do. If the radio is not there and television is not there and the newspaper is not there and you don't have a book to read and nobody to talk to, just think how fidgety, restless you become. You are almost in a panic, as if you are dying. You need something to remain occupied with, you cannot be with yourself. And whenever you are with yourself you start feeling bored. Now, this is strange. And if somebody else feels bored with you, you feel very hurt, but you yourself feel bored with yourself! And everybody is the same: nobody feels good being alone. Man is constantly escaping from himself;…

Question: BELOVED OSHO, NOTHING TO HOLD ON TO NOWHERE TO BELONG TO NOWHERE TO GO BELOVED OSHO, WHY IS IT PAINFUL TO FEEL MY ALONENESS? Dhyan Parijato, "Nothing to hold on to, nowhere to belong to, nowhere to go -- why is it painful to feel my aloneness?" What am I here for? For the time being hang around me, hold on to me. Go with me wherever I am going. Belong to this caravan which is simply enjoying, not going anywhere. It is not the Jewish caravan that Moses was leading continuously for forty years. And just now they have discovered the reason was they had lost a quarter. They searched the whole Middle East -- it took forty years, and still they could not get it! This caravan is not searching for anything. This caravan is just remaining herenow.