Why does it feel like I have become a wall between my wife and my spiritual journey?

Osho, in answer to a question you said: Don’t make your wife miserable. Don’t be in a hurry for sannyas. If you hurry, you yourself will become a wall between me and your wife. Osho, exactly this has happened to me. Why does it feel almost impossible to take one’s wife along? Is the very longing wrong?

Psychologists have now concluded that a human being has two brains, not one. The right hand is connected to the left hemisphere. The left hemisphere is “masculine.” That is why we have given superiority to the right hand—right hand the brahmin, left hand the shudra! In English there is even the saying, “Right is right and left is wrong,” because the right hand symbolizes the masculine. The left hemisphere, connected to the right hand, argues, calculates, runs business, discovers science; it is aggressive, violent, political. And the right hemisphere is connected to the left hand; it is feminine. There poetry is born, beauty is felt, love arises. There is no arithmetic, no logic; there is feeling, intuition. Between these two brains we have not yet built a proper bridge. A woman thinks differently, a man thinks differently; dialogue between them is hardly possible. Yes, if the relationship is of love,…

Beloved Osho, I married twelve years ago. After two years, I was initiated into sannyas by you, and then I started doing meditation. But strangely, after my sannyas, my wife and I started growing in love. She also loves you, Osho. But the sages are saying that to love one's wife is a hindrance in attaining the ultimate. Are we on the right path? Beloved Osho, please guide us on our further pilgrimage to the ultimate.

So it seems that all women have reached heaven, and all men are suffering in hell -- naturally, because if there is no hindrance where will women go? You will have to make some place for them too. And all men have suffered and suffered badly -- but they were responsible for their suffering, because they escaped. And whenever you escape from anything, it follows you. It becomes your fantasy, it comes in your dreams. They did not solve the problem, they were cowards. My people are not escaping from anything. Life is a beautiful experiment to solve problems. The more problems you solve, the more intelligent you become. Escaping is not the way. If the woman is your problem, then find out the reasons why. Perhaps you are the cause. Perhaps you want to dominate the woman. And naturally, if the husband wants to dominate the woman, the woman…

Osho, my wife practices idol worship, but I tell her to meditate and say that idol worship is futile. My wife replies that Meera too worshiped idols. I have no answer to that. Please tell me how true this is, and how I should explain it to my wife?

A kind of madness always rides on man: what I believe, the other should also believe; what I believe alone is right; what the other believes is wrong. This is nothing but the proclamation of the ego. Mahavira has said: the other is also right. To think “only I am right” is unintelligent. If your wife finds joy in idol worship, who are you to interfere? What’s your purpose—simply because you are the husband? The uneasiness you feel is that you don’t have total possession over your wife. “I meditate, my wife worships idols!” If you have a taste for meditation, meditate. If your wife has a taste for idol worship, let her worship. Rasa is the essential thing. Raso vai sah—That Supreme is rasa itself. How the rasa comes is secondary. Are we to eat mangoes or count their pits? But people sit with piles of pits and call…

Osho! By my own understanding I had come prepared to take sannyas. After coming here my wife raised strong opposition, so I postponed it at once. Now it seems I myself colluded in this. The momentum has ebbed. Perhaps I could not gather enough enthusiasm to take the plunge. I am unhappy. Kindly bestow a solution.

So when I read Dinkar’s poems of immortality I am astonished—because I knew him. When he came to me, he was very frightened of death, trembling with fear. Yet in his poems he spoke of the immortality of the soul. There is a reason: this often happens. The poet may not have the experience, but he has the capacity to express it; the experience itself he does not have. The rishis have the experience, but sometimes they lack the capacity to express it. When, by grace, a rishi and a poet are one and the same, a sadguru is born. Usually it is not so. Poets can say, but do not know. Rishis know, but cannot say. When one who knows can also say, then a sadguru is born. Sadguru means: one who has known and can also cause it to be known; one who has experienced the void and…

You say not to convert anyone or say you have found it. But what about you, Osho? What about wanting my beloved to become a sannyasin?

But the wife listened to me and stopped saying to the man.... It was hard for her, because she had also been, for thirty years, in the old habit of nagging. The husband was puzzled. He could not believe that the wife was bringing alcohol for him, serving it. He came to me after one week. He said, "What have you done to my wife? It is strange, but suddenly I am feeling that now the time has come to drop it." The male ego.... You are against smoking and your husband will smoke. You are against this and he will do that. He has to protect himself. He's so afraid of you -- that if he does not protect, you will eat him, you will absorb him. He's afraid because he knows you have the capacity to absorb him. Once, he had lived in a woman's womb, and he's…