Why do I keep coming to sannyas despite lacking faith or devotion?

Osho, why have I found nothing but suffering in this life?

Sujata, if you have found nothing but suffering, you must have worked very hard to get it—great effort, great discipline, great austerity! If you have found only suffering, you must have acquired great skill. Suffering does not come just like that; it isn’t free. You have to pay for it. Bliss, on the other hand, comes of its own accord; it is free—because bliss is your nature. Suffering has to be earned. And what is the first rule for earning suffering? Ask for pleasure, and suffering will arrive. Ask for success, and failure will come. Ask for respect, and insult will follow. Whatever you demand, the opposite will be given. Whatever you desire, the opposite will happen—because this existence does not move according to your desire; it moves according to the will of the divine. Jesus made a final prayer: O Lord, Thy will be done! That is the final…

Sannyas is a quantum leap, a jump into the unknown, a great courage to become discontinuous with your own past. It is a rebirth. It is a change so great... as if the old dies, and dies utterly and totally and the new comes into being from nowhere, from nothingness, out of nothing. If the new comes from the old it remains the old. If the new is continuous with the old then it is only a modification of the old -- maybe a little bit colored and decorated and changed, with a new dress, with a new mask, but it is not a revolution, it is not a conversion. And sannyas to be true has to be a revolution so total that the old identity is simply dropped -- just as the snake slips out of the old skin and never looks back.

It is asked: “I haven’t met you personally yet, and still I am filled with strange feelings toward you. Sometimes I cry; sometimes I just keep gazing at you.”

The friend who has asked—this is a new, fresh contact. New experiences are rising in it. Before these experiences lose their meaning, before these waves become inert, before you slowly accept even these waves and they, too, grow old—take the leap. “Sometimes I cry; sometimes I just keep gazing at you.” Tears are a sign that the connection is being made through the heart. If it were made through the intellect, tears would never come. If the connection is through the head, at most one nods: “Right”; or if not, one shakes the head: “Wrong.” Only the skull nods a little. Tears have nothing to do with the head. Tears flow from the eyes—but they come from the heart, from the innermost core. Tears are more meaningful—than doctrines, ideas, sects. Tears are more meaningful. Tears bring the news that the heart has been struck, something within has trembled. Before the…

Osho, I feel that although I am of course very far from you, I am yet so close to you—perhaps hardly anyone is this close. I have neither taken sannyas from you nor received the blessing of your lotus-hands. Even so, what is the reason for such a feeling?

Salahuddin! The preparation for sannyas is underway. You are a little afraid. Don’t mistake the mind for yourself on this account. This is only the beginning. It’s just a drizzle; soon the flood is on its way. This is the first blossom of spring, merely the news that spring has arrived; now millions upon millions of flowers are yet to bloom. Don’t stop here, Salahuddin! From your question I feel you are thinking, “It’s done.” It has only started, and it is only the beginning—the A, B, C. Hold this thread. A long journey still lies ahead. What has happened is auspicious, is beautiful. To be near me does not require physical nearness, because nearness is a bond of love, not of the body. Nearness means simply that your heart is now beating with my heart. You may live a thousand miles away; if your heart is attuned with mine,…

Osho, sannyas was born in this land; it was granted the dignity of Gaurishankar (Everest). But today its honor has become merely superficial. Inside, the individual and society alike are afraid of it. Why have sannyas and the sannyasin lost their meaning? Please explain.

In my sannyas there is no prohibition—no “leave this, run from that.” Awakening is enough. Cowards run. Those who awaken remain where they are and are free there. My sannyas does not want to give you knowledge; it wants to give you meditation. Meditation means emptiness; it means: I do not know. Life is such an ultimate mystery that nothing definitive can be known about it. And I want to give sannyas a new posture—creativity. I will call him a sannyasin who sings a new song; who strikes a new music from the veena; who dances a new dance; who makes this world a little more beautiful, brings a little more blessedness to the earth. Then sannyas can regain its dignity. And I would have the sannyasin not imitate. Listen, understand, contemplate—but live from your own individuality. Therefore I give my sannyasins no codes of conduct—only processes to awaken the…