According to Osho, Eastern women often seem graceful, not because they are fulfilled, but because ignorance prevents frustration: you suffer only when you know a possibility and are denied it. Conditioned to see sex as duty, misled about orgasm (clitoral, not vaginal), and used for reproduction, they remained unaware; men suppressed this knowledge fearing women’s multiple-orgasm capacity. Western frustration rose once research exposed the deception.
They looked calm because no one told them about orgasm; if you don’t know a treat exists, you don’t miss it, and sex was treated as duty, not delight.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Beloved master, I have heard you say that ninety-eight percent of the women of the east have not known orgasm. Why is it they look so graceful and not frustrated like the women in the west?
In no animal does the will to death exist. In the wild, no animal commits suicide. But strangely, in a zoo it has been found that animals commit suicide. And if Sigmund Freud had been studying only zoo animals, he would have concluded that there is a will to death, just as there is a will to life. But the zoo animals are not real animals; and a marriage makes everybody a zoo animal -- confined, chained in a thousand and one subtle ways. Sigmund Freud had no idea of wild animals, or wild human beings. I want human beings to have something of the wild in them. That is my rebel. He is not going to be part of a zoo, he is going to remain natural. And he is not going to go against life, he is going to flow with life. If man and woman can come…
Beloved Osho, why is it still so difficult for me to see the worth of my feminine qualities? There is still something in me that judges them as weak and having a feeling of not being able to survive. Can you please say something about this?
It is the long condemnation of feminine qualities that has gone deep into the blood and the bones of women. It is man's conspiracy to prove himself superior to women -- which he is not. Man is deep down aware of the fact that the woman has something which he does not have. In the first place the woman is attractive to him, she looks beautiful. He falls in love with the woman, the woman becomes almost an addiction to him -- and that's where the trouble arises. The feeling of dependence on women which every man feels, makes him react in such a way that he tries to manage the woman as a slave -- spiritually a slave. He's also afraid because she is beautiful; ... she is beautiful not only to him -- she is beautiful to whomever looks at her, to whomever comes in contact with her.…
Have you heard the story? -- that a king had many wives. Outside the town he had made a special place for them. He had one man who had to go to fetch one wife every night for him. The king lived up to seventy and by that time at least seven persons who had to go and bring the wife had died. So it is not women that kill -- it is the chasing! [She says she is worried about being indoors at eleven at night because her energy is still moving.] Mm mm, let it move! In your room let it move! Nothing to be worried about. Stop chasing and then you won't be worried about the body. And you will remain younger and beautiful longer. In fact if a person drops all kinds of chasing and desiring, even in the old days he remains beautiful.
Beloved Osho, several times I have read in your books, or heard you mention, the psychological fact that man thinks about woman once every three minutes, while woman only thinks about man once every seven minutes. Is this only a psychological difference, or does it go deeper? To be more specific, please explain the two (or four) sides of the midnight bedroom dilemma of "I have a headache."
A few things first. The psychological fact of man thinking about woman every three minutes -- they cannot wait more than that -- is only average, because science talks only about averages. Don't believe that you are the average person; the average person does not exist. There may be people who are thinking only of women all the time! A psychologist was testing a patient. He drew a straight line on the paper and asked the patient, "What does it remind you of?" He said, "It reminds me of women." The psychologist said, "Strange. A straight line?" But he tried more lines. He made a triangle and asked the man, "What does this remind you of?" The man said, "You seem to be a strange person. This reminds me of women!" The psychologist made a round circle. The man got very angry. He said, "You are coming too close. I…
It has never been a problem down the centuries -- nobody ever bothered about it. But during these twenty, thirty years much research has been done -- kinsey and masters and johnson -- and that research has become public. People are reading about the beauties and the great experience of orgasm and the great relaxation that comes out of it, so they have become greedy about it, and that's why the problem. And it is not one person who is in trouble -- it is almost everybody who is in trouble. [Osho went on to say that there should be no standards in sex, no comparison of one's sexual performance with that of anyone else. It is because of various researchers that people have become comparative -- judging themselves according to the 'average'. 'Nobody is a standard. Your sexuality is yours.