What is the cause of emotional blockage during spiritual experiences?

Osho! While listening to you I start to weep. Now, even in the celebration of active meditation, tears burst forth. What is this? In the midst of meditation a feeling arises that this body is a hindrance now; how can it be shed—the feeling keeps growing more intense. Why? Please explain out of compassion.

Akshay Vivek! Human beings have been given such wrong conditioning that they have neither ever cried to their heart’s content nor laughed to their heart’s content. They have never really lived to their heart’s content. In no aspect, in no dimension, have they ever done anything totally; everything remains half-done! So many things hang inside, suspended like Trishanku. I say meditation is a celebration, but what is happening to you happens to others as well. While celebrating, suddenly tears arise from some unknown corner! They must have been suppressed somewhere—perhaps for lifetimes. Especially in men. Because from childhood we tell boys: Don’t cry! Girls cry. You are a man; crying is not for you. This is false. It is utterly false. Nature has made the tear glands in the eyes of men and women just the same. Men’s tear glands are not smaller than women’s. So one thing is certain—nature…

Osho, you have often said that the true master calls the disciple close, and then also sends him away. How can one know whether the master has sent him away in displeasure, out of anger, or as a blessing, out of joy, for the disciple’s further growth?

First thing: a master who gets angry is no master. Second: a disciple who, when sent away, thinks it must have been out of displeasure is not of the right mettle for discipleship. The master does not get angry; the very possibility of anger has ended. If ever a master seems angry, know that he is acting—for sometimes there is no other way. Gurdjieff would often appear angry—so angry it seemed there would be bloodshed. Those who ran away were deprived. Those who still remained came to know how rare it is to find a heart as tender as his. But why would he behave so angrily? Perhaps that was exactly what was needed for the disciple. Such things happened—and only Gurdjieff could do them—that two people would come to see him, one seated on the left, one on the right. When he looked to the left, it was with…

Osho, “Is there any taker?” you called again and again. That call pierced my heart like an arrow, yet I still feel some blockage. What is it? Only you can tell. While listening to you, tears flow again and again—what is that? Yesterday in darshan, at just your touch, tears burst forth again—why?

This arrow will remind you of your own nature. This arrow will become remembrance, but remembrance is painful. For centuries you have been sitting forgetful; you have not even remembered who I am. This arrow will bring to mind your divine nature. Surely this will go against your vested interests. You have small, small vested interests; all of them stand around your ego. If the ego falls, they too will fall. So there will be fear; the thought will arise, What path have I set out upon? But now turning back is not even possible, Akshay Vivek! Seeing your eyes yesterday gave me a certainty: there is no way back now. The place to return to has disappeared. In the past you have often wanted to turn back, and you have turned back. Many times, when you were about to come close, you slipped away. Fear won; love lost. Now…

Happiness will be there but it will not be real. Real happiness comes out of real unhappiness, because only the real can be transformed into the real. This is the base of all alchemical work. The real can be changed only into the real. Even the baser metal can be changed into gold, but it should be real. So go with it. Have a real trip to hell. Visit hell -- and go deliberately. The faster you go and the more whole-heartedly you go, the sooner will you reach to the end. It can be reached in a single moment. It depends on the intensity and how fast you go into it. If you don't fight, the energy will take you.

Osho, when the kundalini is awakened, it sometimes encounters blockages at certain centers and stops. What causes this stoppage? And how can its movement be restored?

The reason is nothing but one: we do not call with our total energy, and we do not awaken it with our total energy. We are always incomplete and partial. Whatever we do, we do it by halves—half-heartedly. We never quite do anything fully. Beyond this there is no other obstacle. If we can be total, there is no obstacle. But throughout our lives we have the habit of doing everything halfway. Even when we love, we love half. And the very person we love, we also hate. It seems very strange that the one we love, we also hate. And the one we love and live for, at times we even want to kill. It is difficult to find a lover who has never had the thought of his beloved’s death. Such is our mind—half-and-half. And the opposite half is always running alongside. Just as our body has a…