According to Osho, hesitation in enjoying experiences comes from lifelong conditioning that brands joy as wrong, childish, or uncivilized. From childhood, parents and society suppress spontaneous cheerfulness and reward seriousness, so we internalize guilt and fear others’ envy or disapproval. This repression of natural energy makes us hold back, doubt delight, and mistrust happiness.
We were taught growing up that being happy is bad, so we feel guilty and scared to enjoy things.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Why do I feel hesitation in enjoying anything?
Joy is not allowed; you are preconditioned against joy. From the very childhood you have been taught that if you are happy then something is wrong -- unhappy, everything is good. If you are miserable nobody is worried about it, but if you are too happy, everybody is worried about you. You must have done something wrong. Whenever a child is happy the parents start looking for the cause: he must have done some mischief or something. Why is he so happy? -- the parents are not happy. They have a deep jealousy towards the child because he is happy. They may not be aware of it, but they are jealous. It is easy to tolerate somebody else's misery, but it is almost impossible to tolerate anybody else's happiness. I was reading an anecdote. A very religious father was bringing up his son as perfectly as possible. One day when…
Why is it so difficult to enjoy?
That's the reason why people were against Jesus and against Buddha, and why they are against me. They would like me also to be fasting, living under a tree like a beggar, then they would be very happy. They would come in thousands, they would worship me. But if I live in my own way -- and my way is the way of the feast, my way is the way of festivity -- then they are shocked. They are perfectly happy if somebody leaves the palace and becomes a beggar. They are perfectly happy -- they love the man. But if a beggar moves into the palace, they will all be against him. They will not like the idea at all. Just watch. You also do such things. If a man is Lying on a bed of thorns, immediately you prostrate yourself as if he were doing something great, as…
Why does man continue to live the way he lives -- in misery, in agony, in suffering?
These ambitions create misery. They never make you happy, they create misery. Once the mind becomes ambitious the seeds of misery are planted deeply in you. Now you will never be happy, because the future never comes, tomorrow never comes -- and your hope hangs in the tomorrow which never comes. You may have a big house, but you will not be happy because there will always be bigger houses than your house, and that will create misery. You may have a beautiful woman, but there are thousands, many more beautiful women in the world, and that will not make you happy. You will have money, but even that won't make you happy, because more is always possible. This is the trick: "more" has been implanted in you like an electrode -- "Have MORE, then you will be happy." Now how can you have more? Whatsoever you have, you can…
Osho, I had never even imagined that life could be lived so naturally, so joyfully. In the evening, in the singing group, I become so full of dance. The life I was seeking is coming to me. Where was I—and where are you taking me! However much gratitude I offer feels too little. Such love you are pouring, Osho, I bow at your feet!
Such is man’s condition. And the child learns from these very people—parents, family, neighbors, teachers, pundits and priests. From the surrounding crowd the child learns, and one teaching is inevitably absorbed—unconsciously, silently it sinks deep within: that life is suffering, that life is nothing but suffering. And then holy men are there to explain that life is pain, that the wheel of birth and death is suffering. Pundits and priests, temples and mosques, teach that life is the punishment for your sins, that because you sinned in past lives you have been given this life; life is a prison where you serve your sentence. And this seems to make sense, because all around there is evidence for it. If you see someone laughing, dancing, carefree and intoxicated with being, you think, “He must be mad!” Sensible people don’t behave like that. Sensible people don’t take up a tanpura and dance,…
Osho, I cannot accept happiness. It seems sorrow appeals to me. Yet I want happiness. When happiness comes, I can’t trust it. When happiness comes it feels like a dream. Please untangle my confusion!
Keep three things in mind. First, wherever in sorrow you have tied your vested interests, recognize them. Do not derive even the slightest profit from suffering; otherwise happiness will never be yours. Do not give sorrow a place in your life—by any excuse, any pretext. Uproot the weeds of suffering from the garden of your life; only then can roses bloom. And be very alert. For centuries sorrow has been taught. Your saints and sages tell you life is suffering. Your priests say you must suffer the fruits of sins from past lives—someone has to bear them. Endless ideas are thrust upon you for one purpose only: to make your suffering seem natural, inevitable. Supports are placed under your sorrow. Remove all supports and suffering collapses. These props you’ve leaned against—kick them away. You are not suffering the karmic fruits of past births—fruits don’t take that long! They are immediate.…