Is there a way to navigate the vastness of being a disciple?

Beloved Osho, in poona when I first took sannyas, I felt very young and innocent. I had a "yes" for everything, and wanted to learn to be a "good" sannyasin. Watching others, I was learning what it looked like to be a disciple.

IN RAJNEESHPURAM, I FELT THAT AS LONG AS I WAS LOVING YOU, WHATEVER I DID THAT FELT APPROPRIATE WAS FINE -- THINKING THAT I WAS A DISCIPLE, AND THE IMPORTANT THING WAS TO COME FROM THAT SPACE. OSHO, NOW IT FEELS LIKE THERE IS NO "BEING" YOUR DISCIPLE; THERE IS ONLY A NEVER-ENDING PROCESS OF BECOMING. IT LOOKS AS THOUGH THERE IS NO SITTING BACK, HAVING ALREADY BECOME "OSHO'S SANNYASIN"; THERE IS NOTHING BUT TAKING EACH STEP ONE AFTER ANOTHER, WALKING THIS PATH, THIS ENDLESS PATH. WILL YOU PLEASE SPEAK ON THESE CHANGES AND ON THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU? Nityananda, you have described very accurately each step a disciple has to go through. This is the most important conclusion: that there is no question of just being a disciple, it is always becoming. You cannot come to a full stop; the journey is endless, and this is the beauty of…

Question: BELOVED OSHO, IN JAPAN THERE IS AN ANCIENT FORM OF THEATER, WHICH I STUDIED FOR A SHORT TIME, CALLED NOH. IN IT, THE ACTOR MOVES SLOWLY FORWARDS, ONE STEP AT A TIME; SIMULTANEOUSLY HE FOCUSES INSIDE, AND WITH HIS ENERGY CREATES A PATH BEHIND HIM. IF THE AUDIENCE IS REALLY IN TUNE WITH HIM, THEY CAN ALSO SEE BOTH HIS PHYSICAL MOVEMENT FORWARD AND THE PATH HE IS CREATING BEHIND HIM. OSHO, YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU WILL BE IN THE NEXT MOMENT, YOU DON'T CARE WHERE YOUR FEET WILL BE NEXT. MY CONCERN IS THAT I BE ABLE TO SEE CLEARLY, EVERY MOMENT, THE PATH THAT YOU ARE CREATING BEHIND YOU. WHAT A WONDERFUL JOURNEY TO BE WITH YOU, OSHO! WE GO WHEREVER EXISTENCE LEADS US. For two weeks he tried, and he found that it is the most difficult thing in the world.

Osho, on the celebration of your Enlightenment Day a new discourse series is beginning: Many Are the Ghats. Osho, please be compassionate and explain Saint Paltu’s dictum: Just as the river is one, the ghats are many.

People ask me, “How can we set out until it is decided what is right?” How will it be decided? There is no way to decide beforehand. It will be decided only by experience. It is decided at the end; it cannot be decided at the beginning. Yet their question is understandable. Everyone asks, “How to set out until it is decided?” And unless you set out, it will never be decided. Naturally, those who think they will walk only when reason has proved and all is settled—they never walk. They remain stuck here—in argument. Argument breeds more argument. It breeds smoke. The eyes, already weak, become weaker. Truth is not a matter of argument; it is a matter of experience. So descend from any ghat, step into any boat; the decision will come in the end. And it is better—even if you have to wander, then wander, but do…

Question: The last question, Osho, What have I become—into what have I been turned? I could understand nothing. Setting your eyes into my eyes, you stole my very life-breath. Holi—then the strings of the heart began to sing; you drenched me in color, through and through. Asked by “Anand Sita.” Come in such a way, then something will happen, something will unfold. Come in such a way—ready to be erased, ready to sink. Come ready to die, and a new life will happen. Here I am not eager to give knowledge—resurrection! What’s the point of anything less? But for resurrection one must pass through crucifixion. The lakes have unfurled the boats’ sails; Chaitra has quaffed the wine, arrived with a carefree gait.

Osho, it feels as if life is passing moment by moment. I have even found a true master; still, why is the next step unclear?

There is no next step. Why are you thinking about a next step? To think of a next step means this step is not blissful; you want another. This moment is not enough; you want the next. Today is not sufficient; you want tomorrow. Somewhere there is pain in the present; you long for the future. The “next step” is the contemplation of a troubled mind. For the happy person, this very step is the last step. For the happy person, the path itself is the goal. If you are delighted with me, drop talking about the next step. There is no next step. The next step arises from a diseased, restless mind. When you are not happy today, you begin to think of tomorrow. To forget today’s misery you think of tomorrow, you spin hopes of tomorrow, you weave dreams of tomorrow, you become absorbed in tomorrow so that…