How do I know if God has called me for sannyas?

Osho, I am ready for sannyas. But how do I know that God has actually called me? It could just be my illusion!

But if the readiness for sannyas has happened—you say, Haribhajan, that you are ready—then why set even this condition? To set conditions is not right. One should not put conditions upon God. Toward that side one must go unconditionally. Prayer can only be unconditional. If there is a condition, it is a bargain; and where there is bargaining, there is no love. Yes, if you jump—if you take the leap—thousands of proofs will come, not one but thousands. Who has come that a gleam awoke in my eyes? The long-sleeping strings of the heart began to ring. What winds arrived bearing news of whose coming? From the body rose the cries of flowers bursting open. The soul began to bloom, a fragrance stirred in the breath. Who, seeing my glance, opened wide their arms? Playful feelings opened their eyes within my chest. Lips began to burn, a sway awoke in…

Today you are becoming god's own. Up to now it has been only a name Now it can be a reality. All that is required on your part Is to drop the ego -- that's the only hindrance That keeps people away from god. And the farther away you are The more miserable you are. My measuring a person's misery, the distance Between him and god can be inferred. As you come closer, misery starts disappearing. When you really become god's own There is no misery -- all is bliss and joy. Make it a reality. It is not difficult, Just a little courage is needed To let the ego drop. And it is absolutely worthless Hence any intelligent person can do it.

It is asked: “I haven’t met you personally yet, and still I am filled with strange feelings toward you. Sometimes I cry; sometimes I just keep gazing at you.”

The friend who has asked—this is a new, fresh contact. New experiences are rising in it. Before these experiences lose their meaning, before these waves become inert, before you slowly accept even these waves and they, too, grow old—take the leap. “Sometimes I cry; sometimes I just keep gazing at you.” Tears are a sign that the connection is being made through the heart. If it were made through the intellect, tears would never come. If the connection is through the head, at most one nods: “Right”; or if not, one shakes the head: “Wrong.” Only the skull nods a little. Tears have nothing to do with the head. Tears flow from the eyes—but they come from the heart, from the innermost core. Tears are more meaningful—than doctrines, ideas, sects. Tears are more meaningful. Tears bring the news that the heart has been struck, something within has trembled. Before the…

Osho, I want to take sannyas. Am I worthy, and has the auspicious moment arrived?

And because I don’t tell you to leave your home, there is an added difficulty. Mahavira did not give his people as much trouble as I am giving you. Buddha did not give as much trouble. I am putting you in a very paradoxical arrangement: making you a sannyasin and not separating you from the home. You will sit at your shop in ochre robes—it will be a great awkwardness. In ochre you can sit in the forest—there is no trouble then. At a shop you do not sit in ochre—there is no trouble then. I am creating a contradiction in your life. I am saying: live in water and be like a lotus. The rose has no such difficulty; it doesn’t live in water. The lotus has the difficulty—to be in water and untouched by water. To be in the marketplace and untouched by the market. To be in…

So it is difficult to surrender the ego, to be just a servant, to be a slave of god, of love, of existence; it is hard to swallow it, but once you have understood the inner law it is possible to do it and to do it joyfully. Man ordinarily always remains in struggle, always fighting with something or other. And deep down every fight is a fight against god, because only god exists and nobody else. Once this is understood, that only god exists, then one can drop all fighting; there is no point in struggling. In fact one starts praying to be defeated by god. To be defeated by god is the greatest victory in life, to be overcome by him is the most precious moment. That's what sannyas is all about: it is asking for your own defeat.