According to Osho, peace returns when you stop outsourcing responsibility for your pain and recognize it springs from your own demand that no one betray you. The world won’t obey that wish. Accept that deceit exists, let the act and its consequences remain the other’s, and keep your heart unmoved. In such untroubled equanimity—like the fakir with the thief—you may even silently transform the deceiver.
You can’t control others, only your reaction—accept what happened, let their actions be theirs, and stay calm inside.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Osho, when someone deceives and betrays me, or uses me like an object—what should I do in such a situation? I don’t want to hurt that person either. How can I find peace of mind? I feel broken.
In the tangles of life, others are never responsible; the whole responsibility is our own. You say that when someone deceives and betrays you, your heart is hurt. Think a little: the heart is not hurt by someone else’s deceit or betrayal. It hurts because you wanted that no one should deceive or betray you. It is the fruit of your desire. And it is not in your hands to make the whole world comply with your desire. It is in no one’s hands. But we have become accustomed to shifting the responsibility for everything onto others. It seems easy; it gives relief—the relief that I am not responsible. Now someone is cheating, therefore I suffer—so we say. But why did you want that no one should cheat you? And where is it in our hands to create a world in which there is no deceit and no hypocrisy? There…
Osho, I was in love with a young woman. She deceived me and became someone else’s. I am living on, but life has lost all taste. What should I do?
There can’t have been much sap. You are in the illusion that there was. Does sap vanish like that? You don’t even know what sap is. Those who know have said: “Raso vai sah.” They defined God as rasa—essence, sap, joy. They recognized only God as the true savor; nothing else has any lasting savor. Had you gotten the woman, the savor would also have gone—and being tied to her would be another matter. Then it would be hard to get free. Ask the one she has married—what is his condition? Know his griefs too; you’ll find great consolation, great reassurance. A politician once went to visit a madhouse. One man was tearing his hair, beating his chest, holding a woman’s photo, tears streaming—hugging the photo to his chest. He was behind bars. The politician asked the superintendent, “What happened to this man? What is he doing? Whose photo is…
You said that mind is the devil: "drop it!" oh, but a man of a civilized, complex society of today, like me, feels him self surrounded and lost in mind and mind and nothing else. How to proceed? Moreover, if one goes with an innocent, childlike mind into this world, he will probably be cheated.
Be cheated. It is worth it. What have you got that you are so much afraid of being cheated? A naked fakir -- worried where he will dry his clothes if he takes a bath. Be cheated! You have nothing. This idea that "... with an innocent childlike mind into this world, he will probably be cheated," is already cunning, clever, calculating. If you want to become childlike, even then you calculate what will happen? A child is just a child. Whatsoever happens, happens. And I tell you, if you allow yourself to be cheated, in the end you will find that those who were cheating you were really the victims. They have been cheated. They could not take anything from you because, in the first place, you had nothing. When death knocks at your door, you will be happy that you allowed people to cheat you rather than cheating…
Belief is directed towards an object. You believe in A, you believe in B; A may be a person or a book or a concept or a philosophy. Belief is objective, there is an object to it. Trust has no object. You don't trust A, you don't trust B or C. Trust is a quality. It is subjectivity; it has nothing to do with any object. Beliefs are bound to be disturbed, will be disturbed, and it is good that they are disturbed; otherwise you will be caught in them, you will be imprisoned in them. Unless you lose all belief in beliefs, trust will not arise, because it is a totally different dimension. A belief is looking outwards to somebody else as a redeemer. Christians believe in Christ and Buddhists believe in Buddha. They are looking towards somebody as if he is responsible.
Osho, why does life feel futile? When I come to you I get a small glimpse of meaning, but it keeps slipping away.
Life is neither futile nor meaningful. Life is a blank canvas. Paint upon it whatever you wish. Life is a blank book—write abuses in it if you like, or write songs. In itself, life is nothing; life is a bare opportunity. Many people live with the illusion that life already has a meaning and wonder why they cannot find it. Meaning does not exist in life; it has to be put into it. The more you pour in, the more you will receive—no more. A flute lies before you and you sit there saying, “The flute is here, but why are there no notes in it?” Notes do not dwell inside a flute; they have to be born, awakened, poured in, coaxed to surge. Put it to your lips and play, and an incomparable music will arise. There is no ready-made meaning in life, as if you could walk into…