How can I dive deeper into the experience of sannyas?

Sannyas is a quantum leap, a jump into the unknown, a great courage to become discontinuous with your own past. It is a rebirth. It is a change so great... as if the old dies, and dies utterly and totally and the new comes into being from nowhere, from nothingness, out of nothing. If the new comes from the old it remains the old. If the new is continuous with the old then it is only a modification of the old -- maybe a little bit colored and decorated and changed, with a new dress, with a new mask, but it is not a revolution, it is not a conversion. And sannyas to be true has to be a revolution so total that the old identity is simply dropped -- just as the snake slips out of the old skin and never looks back.

So it is difficult to surrender the ego, to be just a servant, to be a slave of god, of love, of existence; it is hard to swallow it, but once you have understood the inner law it is possible to do it and to do it joyfully. Man ordinarily always remains in struggle, always fighting with something or other. And deep down every fight is a fight against god, because only god exists and nobody else. Once this is understood, that only god exists, then one can drop all fighting; there is no point in struggling. In fact one starts praying to be defeated by god. To be defeated by god is the greatest victory in life, to be overcome by him is the most precious moment. That's what sannyas is all about: it is asking for your own defeat.

Osho, you have given the prasad of sannyas; will I be able to digest it or not? The love, joy, and bliss it has brought—I have found nowhere. I want to dive even deeper, so that I am lost. How?

Manjula! The capacity of human beings is boundless. Man is the whole ocean in a single drop. He has the capacity to digest the whole of the Divine. And anything less will not bring fulfillment. Those who stop before that are uncomprehending. It is God that has to be drunk; it is God that has to be digested—and totally. As long as even a single fragment of your heart remains untouched by the Divine, restlessness will continue. If even a single grain of you remains separate from God, anguish will remain; the rain of contentment will not fall. The rain of contentment happens only when one digests the Divine as a whole and lets oneself be immersed in God. Sannyas is the beginning, Manjula, not the end. It is the first step of the journey. But we are unaware of our capacity. And we are not allowed to become aware…

That's what sannyas is: becoming a child again again reclaiming the innocence of childhood which the society has destroyed. It will be difficult, because to live with people who live in lies, without lies living with them is difficult. People who are all pseudo and phony, to live with them as true is to invite danger -- but it is worth. This life is bound to go, so even if one has to sacrifice one's life for truth one should not be worried about it. Truth is far more valuable than life itself because life ends in death but truth never ends. Truth is eternal, timeless, deathless. Manoj Bharti. One thing to be remembered: that from this moment meditation becomes your goal; everything else is secondary. So arrange your life in such a way that everything revolves around meditation.

To be a sannyasin means to be ready to take this jump. Move from logic to illogic, from rationality to irrationality. It is a kind of superior madness, but that has been always the way of the mystic; he is madly in love with God but his madness is a superior kind of sanity Our so-called sane people are not really sane, just normally insane. You have been searching for long -- now the time has come to be totally committed and involved. A little search is not going to help; it needs your totality. How long will you be here? KAVYO: A year or six months. OSHO: Good. do as many groups as possible... and lose your head! (LAUGHTER). My people are very very skillful at cutting off heads. Soon you will be running around without a head.