According to Osho, man wants to be manipulated because inner sickness—an emptiness and unconsciousness—craves being needed more than being ignored. Attention, even through exploitation or deception, soothes the ego’s hunger for significance. Only when one becomes whole and aware—enlightened—does the neurotic need to be needed fall away, freeing one from accepting manipulation, harassment, and counterfeit love as proof of worth.
We let others push us around because feeling noticed—even the wrong way—makes our lonely inside feel important; when we heal and wake up, we don’t need that anymore.
From the Discourses
Passages where Osho speaks to this question — each links to the complete discourse.
Seeing the way the media works, one gets the impression that man loves to be manipulated. Why does man want to be cheated?
He said, "It is true. Love never gets old. I still feel sometimes when I see a woman that perhaps if I was not married I would have chosen this woman. And as far as my wife is concerned, you know, she is just a kind of lifelong punishment. I console myself according to the Indian philosophy that it must be because of my bad actions in my past life that I have got this woman. Now somehow I have to patiently suffer." I said, "You got this woman because you had not guts enough to say to your father that you wanted another woman with whom you were in love." He said, "How did you come to know?" I said, "I have been talking to your father also. We are great friends; we meet every day on the morning walk. He has nothing to do and he enjoys talking.…
Question: BELOVED OSHO WHY AM I SUCH A BEGGAR FOR ATTENTION? WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT? In the middle ages there were doctors in Europe... because the woman's virginity can be judged, checked. There is a very thin layer of skin -- if she has not been in a sexual relationship, that skin remains intact; if she has been in a sexual relationship, that skin is broken. That broken skin proves that she is not a virgin. Now sometimes it can be broken just by riding on a bicycle, it can be broken by riding on a horse, it can be broken by any accident -- falling from the staircase. It is not something that can be broken only by making love.
Question: MATTHEW 6 JESUS SAID UNTO HIS DISCIPLES: 5. AND WHEN THOU PRAYEST, THOU SHALT NOT BE AS THE HYPOCRITES ARE: FOR THEY LOVE TO PRAY STANDING IN THE SYNAGOGUES AND IN THE CORNERS OF THE STREETS, THAT THEY MAY BE SEEN OF MEN. VERILY I SAY UNTO YOU, THEY HAVE THEIR REWARD. 6. BUT THOU, WHEN THOU PRAYEST, ENTER INTO THY CLOSET, AND WHEN THOU HAST SHUT THY DOOR, PRAY TO THY FATHER IN SECRET. 7. BUT WHEN YE PRAY, USE NOT VAIN REPETITIONS, AS THE HEATHEN DO: FOR THEY THINK THAT THEY SHALL BE HEARD FOR THEIR MUCH SPEAKING. 8. BE NOT THEREFORE LIKE UNTO THEM: FOR YOUR FATHER KNOWETH WHAT THINGS YE HAVE NEED OF, BEFORE YE ASK HIM. 9. AFTER THIS MANNER THEREFORE PRAY YE: OUR FATHER WHICH ART IN HEAVEN, HALLOWED BE THY NAME. 10. THY KINGDOM COME.
Question: BELOVED OSHO, WHO IS IN THE WAY? WHEN MASTER JUI YEN WAS DWELLING CONSTANTLY IN HIS ROOM, HE WOULD CALL TO HIMSELF, "BOSS!" AND ALSO RESPOND TO HIMSELF, "YES?" "BE ALERT!" "I WILL." "HEREAFTER, DON'T FALL FOR PEOPLE'S DECEPTIONS." "I WON'T." JUST AROUSE YOURSELF RIGHT HERE, AND SEE WHAT IT IS. THE ONE WHO DOES THE AROUSING ISN'T ANYONE ELSE, HE'S JUST THE ONE THAT CAN RECOGNIZE DIMNESS AND DULLNESS. HE'S YOUR OWN FUNDAMENTAL IDENTITY. THIS IS ME GIVING MEDICINE TO SUIT THE DISEASE, HAVING NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE; BRIEFLY POINTING OUT THE ROAD FOR YOU TO RETURN HOME AND SIT IN PEACE, AND THAT'S ALL. IF YOU STICK TO DEAD WORDS, AND SAY IT REALLY IS YOUR FUNDAMENTAL IDENTITY, THEN YOU'RE ACKNOWLEDGING THE CONSCIOUS SPIRIT AS YOUR SELF, AND THIS HAS EVEN LESS TO DO WITH IT.
Osho, in this intensely aggressive age, people with a feminine-hearted disposition find it difficult to live anywhere, because even education trains one to live aggressively. It feels as if people will force you to become like themselves. So what should one do?
Just now Morarji went on a fast. In that fast he tried to kill two birds with one stone: first, to make Indira bow down, and second, to seat Jayaprakash in his place. Because Jayaprakash’s name is rising rapidly. And it seems he has become the foremost in the opposition; that too is a pain. So if you go on a fast-unto-death, your name becomes foremost in the newspapers. These are big games. From small children to the aged, it makes no difference. Because the craving to gratify the ego remains. So among the Jews there is this tale that the thirty-six hidden saints wander the earth. Even though no one is helped by them, they cannot awaken anyone, no one listens to them, still they continue their work out of love. What do you think—that when I speak to you, it is with the assurance that you will surely…