What happens when I admire women but feel like a fool for them?

Osho, I have heard that behind each so-called great man -- like julius caesar or napoleon, or even a really great man like socrates -- there was a woman in charge. I have always managed to turn from being an admirer of women into a woman's fool. What is your secret? You have put more women in charge than is really possible, and yet you have remained free and loved by them all. And I love you too.

He said, "Yes. If you get a good wife she will make you succeed in life, she will put ambition in you. And you are young; you will need some ambition. If you get a wife like mine then you will become a philosopher. My wife has helped me immensely to learn the art of remaining unaffected. Whatsoever happens -- success or failure, misery or happiness -- it is all the same to me. She has made me centered. Either way you will not lose, so get married." There is a possibility -- every possibility, in fact -- that the whole credit for Buddha becoming enlightened goes to Yashodhara, his wife. The whole credit for Mohammed becoming the prophet of God MUST go to his nine wives. There is every possibility that these people were trying somehow not to be disturbed, not to be distracted, and they started searching for…

Osho, why am I afraid of women?

That lean, thin woman was going to decide. This is the situation. Man tries in his ways, somehow, to possess the woman; the woman tries to possess the man. The woman is afraid because man can be physically violent. The man is afraid because the woman is psychologically very very clever, very very powerful. You ask me, Prabhudas, "WHY AM I AFRAID OF WOMEN?" You are afraid of love; you are afraid of losing your ego. You are asking a wrong question. And remember always: the mind tries many times to give you a wrong question. A little twist, a little turn, and the question becomes wrong. Now you ask, "WHY AM I AFRAID OF WOMEN?" The question seems to be perfectly right; it is not. You should have asked: why am I afraid of love? and then it would have been right. It is a wrong question. But many…

Question: BELOVED OSHO, I GET SO CONFUSED WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN. I HAVE SO MUCH TROUBLE SEEING THE REALITY. WHEN A WOMAN LOVES ME, I FEEL STRONG, ATTRACTIVE, AND I LIKE MYSELF MUCH MORE. THEN OTHER WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO ME AND I GO TO THEM. THAT'S WHEN CONFUSION REALLY SETS IN. IF I ACT ON THE ATTRACTION, THE WOMAN WHO LOVES ME, STOPS; THEN I FEEL GUILTY, WEAK, AND UNATTRACTIVE, AND LOSE THE OTHER WOMEN TOO. IF I DON'T ACT ON THE ATTRACTION I FEEL FALSE, COWARDLY, AND ANGRY WITH THE WOMAN WHO LOVED ME. IT SEEMS LIKE IT'S NECESSARY TO WALK A TIGHT WIRE, AND I GET TIRED AFTER A WHILE AND THE FALL IS SO PAINFUL. OSHO, I KNOW MY EGO MUST BE INTERMIXED WITH ALL THIS, BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO SORT IT OUT.

I always either feel superior or inferior to people. I feel ashamed of feeling that way and try to hide it. I wish I could genuinely -- not pretend to -- feel equal to and love everyone. Why is it so difficult?

WHETHER YOU FEEL SUPERIOR OR INFERIOR or equal, the mind remains the same. You still go on thinking in comparison and the misery will continue. You can think yourself superior -- the moment you think yourself superior you are creating possibilities to feel inferior, because somebody somewhere is going to be ahead of you in some way or other. If you think yourself inferior, you are creating the possibilities to feel superior -- in some way, somebody is going to be behind you. We are standing in a queue, and the queue is not linear: it is a circle. Somebody is always ahead of you and somebody is always behind you. Then naturally the idea arises -- because superiority and inferiority bring ego and misery -- why not feel equal? And you think you are asking for a radical change? No, not at all. To feel equal is the same…

Beloved master, holding your hands and feeling your compassion I feel like crying all the tears of my body, out of too much beauty. I can't stand it; I am shaking and shivering. My inner woman starts coming to life. A need to please, to express myself... My ideas about the real man lie at my feet, shattered. What to do?

The woman was perfectly right: "He cannot do anything alone -- he will need me even in suicide. Without me he cannot do anything. So don't be worried, you just go to sleep. Within half an hour he will be back. And this is almost an everyday routine; it is not new. The first time I also had got really worried, but when it started happening every day...! At any time he would go to commit suicide -- for any single mood, reason. Then I thought, `This is just... he does not mean it; he does not understand the meaning of suicide.'" Why are men and women constantly fighting? They are fighting because they feel a certain dependence on each other. And nobody likes dependence -- everybody hates it. That hate is there that poisons your love. That hate is there that creates constant conflict. What I am proposing is…