When will I become enlightened?

Osho, when am I going to become enlightened?

Please don't be in such a hurry because I will be left without business. This is not fair. If I have so much compassion for you, you should have at least a little compassion towards me too. Go slowly. Let me also enjoy the Masterhood. The psychiatrist leaned heavily on the bar and began to drink long, hard doubles. His face was wreathed in sorrow and he was, at the same time, ominously sad. Another psychiatrist happened by. 'John!' he exclaimed: 'John! My good fellow. You don't seem to be yourself tonight. Care to tell me about it?' 'There isn't much to tell' John replied. 'Remember that rich nut I was treating for years? The one who practically kept me in business from the start?' 'I certainly do. You mean the one who kept dreaming for thirty years that he was still in high school?' John nodded. 'What happened?' 'Last…

Osho, I keep thinking of my life in terms of goal or destination, waiting to wake up some day and find myself enlightened, and I worry that others will reach before me. Today is a tension. Why is eternity so difficult to feel and remember? You keep reminding me but I keep forgetting and lose patience. Why am I such a food? And then I think 'so what?' and then I want to scream 'no more!' but go on.

But do you think a day will come when all your invest-ments and all your worries and all your acts are complete? Will there ever come a day when you are finished with the activities of your so-called life, and you can come and say, "Right now I am ready"? It will never come, because life is such a complexity. It never begins, it never ends. You are always in the middle. It is like reading a novel from the middle. The beginning part is missing and the end part is missing -- you know only the middle. That is the mystery of life! Try some time reading a novel from the middle and you will find that even an ordinary novel becomes very mysterious. Intrigued you will be, and many times you will be tempted to look back: "What is the beginning?" But resist the temptation, go on reading…

Question: BELOVED OSHO, I'M IN A HURRY TO BECOME ENLIGHTENED. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Chitten, first just listen carefully to this small story. The plane had just taken off and the captain was telling the passengers about the altitude of the plane, the cruising speed etcetera. But he forgot to switch off the microphone. He then turned to his co-pilot and said, "First I'm going to have a cup of coffee and then I'm going to screw that pretty stewardess, Denise." The shocked stewardess was down the end of the plane when she heard this come over the loudspeaker. So she began to rush down the aisle to tell the captain to switch off his mike. Halfway down the plane an old lady stopped her and said, "There's no hurry, Denise, let him have his cup of tea first." Chitten, there is no hurry at all.

Beloved master, you say that enlightenment can happen any moment. To me it feels like a very slow process of learning and becoming aware of the unconscious parts of my being. Do you have something to say about this?

Enlightenment is not something like an achievement; one cannot achieve it. One has to disappear for it to happen. It is a happening and it happens only in the absence of the ego. And whenever you are doing something the ego becomes more and more strengthened. The ego is a doer, and enlightenment happens in a state of nondoing. It is simply the realization of who you are; it is not a question of achievement. You are already it! Just an awakening, just a turning in! Seeing the point, Buddha relaxed; he dropped all his methods. That is the only use of methods: you get tired of them, you feel utterly bored with them. One day out of sheer boredom you drop all the methods. That evening he dropped his whole spiritual search. He had dropped all worldly search six years before, but it is the same search whether you…

Osho, I think I have become enlightened. What do you say about it?

THE moment one becomes enlightened, one does not think that one is enlightened; one simply knows. Thinking is guessing, it is not knowing. And when one becomes enlightened one never asks 'whether I have become enlightened', because it is self-evident; no certificate is needed. And Nisarga, when you become enlightened I will come to you to bless you. You will not need to come to me and ask. An old Welsh lady, seventy-five years old, is in the doctor's surgery. "Well, I know it is hard to believe, Mrs. Jones, but the tests are conclusive: you are pregnant!" the doctor tells her. "But I am seventy-five years old, doctor, and my husband is eighty-five years old. Are you certain? This will be such a shock for him." "Yes, I am certain. You must tell him very carefully because of his age. I suggest you telephone him from my office now."…