Osho is at his most precise in separating love from its most convincing imposter. Attachment, he says, is a relationship built on need: it turns the beloved into an object, and the moment the object asserts its own life, affection curdles into pain and enmity. Love is not a relationship at all — it is a state of consciousness that relates freely, the way a lamp gives light to whoever passes.
The test he offers is disarmingly simple: love never asks whether it is love. Where the question arises, attachment has already answered it. The sections below let Osho draw the line in his own words, each linked to the full discourse.
The difference, in Osho's words
The short notes are Osho Live's; the quoted passages are his own words, checked against the talk.
A State of Consciousness, Not a Relationship
Asked what love actually is, Osho locates the difference at the root: attachment needs the other as an object; love allows the other a soul.
Love is a state of consciousness, not a relationship. Attachment is a relationship. And wherever there is relationship, there is need; we relate in order to fulfill a need.
Attachment and Love across his talks
Each year, the share of Osho's talks in which the word is used — counted from 6,627 dated talks on Osho Live.
Lighter bars: years with few dated talks. Counts are of the words themselves, so they show how Osho's vocabulary moved — not every talk on the subject.
| Year | Attachment | Love | Dated talks |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1964 | 4 | 9 | 13 |
| 1965 | 7 | 16 | 19 |
| 1966 | 3 | 3 | 7 |
| 1967 | 6 | 30 | 33 |
| 1968 | 7 | 28 | 30 |
| 1969 | 26 | 97 | 110 |
| 1970 | 39 | 108 | 131 |
| 1971 | 31 | 85 | 111 |
| 1972 | 71 | 195 | 223 |
| 1973 | 71 | 174 | 205 |
| 1974 | 105 | 258 | 271 |
| 1975 | 96 | 296 | 303 |
| 1976 | 227 | 660 | 700 |
| 1977 | 210 | 647 | 679 |
| 1978 | 220 | 681 | 702 |
| 1979 | 202 | 670 | 683 |
| 1980 | 166 | 636 | 674 |
| 1981 | 30 | 118 | 122 |
| 1984 | 16 | 58 | 63 |
| 1985 | 60 | 343 | 356 |
| 1986 | 79 | 359 | 369 |
| 1987 | 95 | 475 | 486 |
| 1988 | 43 | 267 | 276 |
| 1989 | 14 | 61 | 61 |
More in his words
How Do I Know Which One I Feel?
A questioner asks how to tell love from attachment in what they feel for someone. Osho's answer dissolves the question itself.
If it is love, the question will not arise at all. If the question arises, it is attachment. It is like someone asking, “Is it light or darkness? How can I know?” If you have eyes, such a question does not arise.
Why Love Keeps Turning into Attachment
If love frees, why does ours bind? Osho's diagnosis: it is not love that degrades into attachment — it is that the lover is not yet present at all.
First BE, and then you can share your being. And that sharing will be love. Before that, whatsoever you do will become an attachment. And lastly: if you are struggling against attachment, you have taken a wrong turn.
From the discourses
Where Osho draws this distinction himself — each passage links to the exact place in the talk.
Osho, as I feel, love has been very confusing. Personally, sir, I feel society has confused the term “love” with attachments. To me, attachment is the outcome or by-product of human need. May I ask you what love actually is?
Love liberates, makes the other free, allows the other to be a person. Attachment turns the other into an object and possesses so totally that it refuses to recognize that the other has a soul: If I say yes, then yes; if I say no, then no; if I say day, day; if I say night, night! Attachment says, “Only I am; you be erased.” Husbands have made wives into objects, wives have made husbands into objects. Lovers make each other into objects, and the moment an object shows a little movement, a little independence, attachment turns into enmity and pain. Love is a state of consciousness, not a relationship. Attachment is a relationship. And wherever there is relationship, there is need; we relate in order to fulfill a need. Love will, of course, relate—but it is not a relationship. As I said, the lamp’s light falls; if you pass…
ओशो, ए़ज आई फील व्हेअर लव है़ज बीन मच कनफ्यूजिंग, ए़ज आई फील पर्सनली सर, सोसायटी है़ज कनफ्यू़ज्ड दि टर्म लव विद अटेचमेंट्स। टु मी व्हेअर एटेचमेंट इ़ज दि आउटकम ऑर बाइ-प्रोडक्ट ऑफ ह्यूमेन नीड। वुड आई एक्सपेक्ट फ्र ाम यू, वॉट लव एक्च्वेल्ली इ़ज?
प्रेम तो मुक्त करेगा, स्वतंत्र करेगा, दूसरे व्यक्ति को व्यक्ति बनने देगा। और आसक्ति दूसरे व्यक्ति को वस्तु बना लेती है और इतना पजेस करती है कि वह नहीं मानती कि दूसरे के पास कोई आत्मा है। तो मैं हां कहूं तो हां, मैं ना कहूं तो ना, दिन कहूं तो दिन, रात कहूं तो रात! आसक्ति कहती है, मैं हूं तो मैं ही हूं, तुम मिट जाओ। तो आसक्ति व्यक्ति को वस्तु बना लेती है। पतियों ने पत्नियों को वस्तुएं बना रखा है, पत्नियों ने पतियों को। सब प्रेमियों ने सब प्रेमियों को वस्तु बना रखा है और जहां वस्तु थोड़ा हलचल दिखाती है, स्वतंत्रता दिखाती है, वहीं आसक्ति दुश्मनी और कष्ट में पड़ जाती है। प्रेम है चित्त की अवस्था, संबंध नहीं। आसक्ति है एक संबंध। और जहां संबंध है वहां जरूरत है; क्योंकि जरूरत के लिए ही हम संबंधित होते हैं। प्रेम भी संबंधित होगा, लेकिन वह संबंध नहीं है। वहां जैसा मैंने कहा, दीये की रोशनी गिर रही है, आप निकलेंगे तो आप पर रोशनी पड़ेगी, संबंधित होगी; लेकिन दीये के मन में संबंध की कोई आकांक्षा नहीं है। …
Osho, how can we know whether what we feel for someone is love or attachment?
Deepika, If it is love, the question will not arise at all. If the question arises, it is attachment. It is like someone asking, “Is it light or darkness? How can I know?” If you have eyes, such a question does not arise. Only if you have no eyes can it arise. Only a blind person can ask, “Is it light or dark? Is it day or night?” The blind must ask; he has no eyes of his own and must depend on the eyes of others. Love is the eye of the heart. Love is the heart opening like a lotus. When the flower of love blossoms, it is impossible not to know. It has never happened otherwise; such is the law of life. When the flower of love blooms, you know—inevitably. Even if you try to hide it, you cannot. Not only will you know; others too, who…
दूसरा प्रश्न: ओशो, हमें किसी से प्रेम है या मोह है, यह कैसे जाना जा सकता है?
दीपिका, प्रेम हो तो प्रश्न उठेगा ही नहीं। प्रश्न उठता है तो मोह ही होगा। जैसे कोई पूछे कि प्रकाश है या अंधेरा है, हम कैसे जानें? अगर तुम्हारे पास आंखें हैं, तो यह प्रश्न उठेगा ही नहीं। और अगर तुम्हारे पास आंखें नहीं हैं, तो ही यह प्रश्न उठ सकता है। अंधा ही पूछ सकता है कि प्रकाश है या अंधेरा? दिन है या रात? अंधे को पूछना ही पड़ेगा। अंधे के पास अपनी आंख नहीं है; उसे दूसरों की आंखों पर निर्भर रहना पड़ता है। प्रेम तो हृदय की आंख है। प्रेम तो हृदय का खुल जाना है कमल की भांति। प्रेम का फूल खिलेगा और तुम्हें पता न चलेगा! …
You said that love can make you free. But ordinarily we see that love becomes attachment, and instead of freeing us it makes us more bound. So tell us something about attachment and freedom.
Right now you are not. When you say, "When I love someone it becomes an attachment," you are saying you are not, so whatsoever you do goes wrong because the doer is absent. The inner point of awareness is not there, so whatsoever you do goes wrong. First BE, and then you can share your being. And that sharing will be love. Before that, whatsoever you do will become an attachment. And lastly: if you are struggling against attachment, you have taken a wrong turn. You can struggle. So many monks, recluses, sannyasins are doing that. They feel that they are attached to their house, to their property, to their wives, to their children, and they feel caged, imprisoned. They escape, they leave their homes, they leave their wives, they leave their children and possessions, and they become beggars and escape to a forest, to a loneliness. But go and…
Osho, isn’t love inherently laced with attachment and possessiveness?
Rabi‘a, a woman mystic, was sitting in her house. A fakir named Hasan was her guest. Morning came; the sun rose. Hasan went outside and called loudly, “Rabi‘a, what are you doing inside? Come out and see how beautiful the sun is—behold God’s creation!” Rabi‘a said, “Hasan! Better you come inside—for you are seeing God’s creation outside; within I am seeing the One Himself.” Creation is beautiful. But will you compare it with the Creator? A song is beautiful; it carries a slight hint of the singer’s soul. These carvings all around are beautiful, but they are a tiny work of the artist. The artist is not exhausted in the paintings, nor is the Creator finished in the creation. From that Creator infinite creations can arise, and still He remains as He is—unchanged. The Ishavasya says: “From the Full, the Full is taken, yet the Full remains.” From that God,…
दूसरा प्रश्न: ओशो, क्या प्रेम में राग और आसक्ति निहित नहीं है?
राबिया, एक फकीर औरत अपने घर में बैठी थी। हसन नाम का एक फकीर उसके घर मेहमान था। सुबह हो गई, सूरज उगा। हसन बाहर गया, और उसने जोर से आवाज दी कि राबिया, भीतर क्या कर रही है? बाहर आ, देख कितना सुंदर सूरज निकला है, परमात्मा की सृष्टि को देख! राबिया ने कहा: हसन! बेहतर हो तू ही भीतर आ जा, क्योंकि तू परमात्मा की सृष्टि को देख रहा है बाहर, भीतर मैं स्वयं उसी को देख रही हूं। सृष्टि सुंदर है। लेकिन स्रष्टा से थोड़े ही मुकाबला करोगे? गीत सुंदर है। …
Osho, what is attachment? Why do we become so attached to things, ideas and persons? And is there freedom from attachment?
“So do one thing,” she told the courtesan. “I will pay you whatever you ask. Go to him at midnight. He meditates at midnight—has done so for thirty years. I want to know whether meditation has happened or not before I die. His hut door is only latched; no one ever goes there. Open it and go in. Whatever he says, notice every word and tell me. Go and embrace him—then come back and report. Before I die, I want to be sure that my service was not in vain.” The courtesan went. She opened the door. The monk was startled. He opened his eyes—he had been sitting in meditation—and shouted, “You wicked woman! Why are you here? Get out! What need have you to come at midnight?” But his tongue faltered; his body trembled. The woman had taken her money; she went right in. He cried, “Stay back! Why…
पहला प्रश्न: ओशो, आसक्ति क्या है? हम चीजों, विचारों और व्यक्तियों से इतने आसक्त क्यों हो जाते हैं? और क्या आसक्ति से छुटकारा भी है?
तो तू एक काम कर--उसने वेश्या को कहा--कि जो तुझे लेना हो उतने पैसे मैं दूंगी। तू आधी रात आज चली जा। वह फकीर आधी रात को ध्यान करता है। तीस साल से कर रहा है, अभी तक हुआ ध्यान या नहीं, यह मैं जानना चाहती हूं। मरने के पहले यह पक्का कर लेना चाहती हूं कि जिसकी सेवा की, व्यर्थ ही तो नहीं की। तो तू चली जाना भीतर। उसकी झोपड़ी का द्वार अटका ही रहता है, क्योंकि कोई कभी जाता ही नहीं। तू द्वार खोल लेना। और वह कुछ भी कहे, एक-एक बात का खयाल रखना, मुझे तुझे बताना पड़ेगा। और जाकर एकदम उसका आलिंगन कर लेना। वह क्या कहता है, क्या करता है, बस तू लौट कर मुझे बता देना। मरने के पहले मैं यह जान लेना चाहती हूं। वह वेश्या गई। उसने दरवाजा खोला। दरवाजा खोला तो साधु एकदम घबड़ाया। उसने आंख खोल कर देखा साधु ने। ध्यान करने बैठा था, एकदम चिल्लाया कि अरी दुष्ट स्त्री! …
Frequently asked
What is the difference between attachment and love according to Osho?
Attachment is a relationship rooted in need — it possesses the other, treats them as an object, and turns to pain the moment the other shows independence. Love, for Osho, is a state of consciousness: it relates, but it is not a relationship. It gives freedom rather than demanding security.
How can I tell whether what I feel is love or attachment?
Osho's test is the question itself. Love is self-evident, like light to open eyes — when it blossoms you know, and so does everyone around you. If you have to ask whether it is love or attachment, the very doubt signals attachment, because need is anxious and love is not.
Does Osho say we should renounce attachment?
No — he explicitly calls fighting attachment a wrong turn. Monks who abandon home, family and possessions carry the same inner absence into the forest. His approach is not renunciation but presence: become a conscious being first, and what you then share is love; before that, whatever you do becomes attachment.