We are Born at the Goal The Shadow Of The Whip #12

[A visitor, who is a group leader and author, says: I want to know where to go next.... I need to know where to go next.]

Mm. (a pause) Drop going...(the visitor laughs) and there is no next. The very idea of going is basically wrong. The very idea to go anywhere is the cause of all misery We are at the very point where we want to be. In fact we are born at the goal and all journey is futile. The more you try to reach to the goal, the more you are far away from it.

So as it is you have done enough -- relax! The place that we are seeking is the place we are standing upon. The space that we are looking for is the space from which we are looking.

But the effort to improve, the effort to grow, to go somewhere, to be somewhere, has its own relevance -- it is needed. It is needed only so that one day you can see the whole absurdity of it. And in that vision it drops and suddenly you are at home. So there is no next....

But the mind always creates the next -- beware of the mind because the mind cannot exist without the next. The mind exists in the future, it exists with some plan, it exists for something to do, something to be -- it cannot exist just herenow. The mind knows no present. It cannot know the present. Either it is in the past or in the future. Either it is somewhere where it was or it is somewhere where it would like to be -- but it is never where it is.

So this 'next' is always there in the mind, mm? It goes on and on.... And it is such an effort that as you move towards it, another next is present like the horizon. Mm? you go slower and it goes on receding. So as I see, there is no next now.

... Just be... just be.... And everything is perfectly good. How long will you be here?

[Osho gives the visitor sannyas]

This will be your name now, so forget the old. It is always very difficult to drop the old name. It becomes part of the unconscious -- but that is the significance of giving a new name. As the new by and by enters into the unconscious, the old disappears. Then with the old name the whole past simply becomes discontinuous with you, and a very fresh beginning, very empty....
This will be your new name: Swami Deva Amit Prem.

Deva means divine, and amit prem means eternal love; divine eternal love. And everything else dies only love lives. We go on changing, but love goes on living. We are almost like vehicles through which the eternal love goes on flowing, takes many forms as man and woman, as trees and animals.

In Indian mythology we have a very beautiful story. Hindus avoid telling it even because it looks a little dangerous. And at least Christians will not be able to understand and they will immediately misinterpret it.

The story is that God, Brahma, created the world. Then He created the cow -- Hindus love the cow very much so He created the cow -- but He fell in love with her so He became a bull and He chased the cow. Mm? Just to escape from the bull, the cow goes on taking other forms -- she becomes a peacock, and the bull becomes a male peacock, and this is how it goes on and on. She becomes a woman and the bull becomes a man, and this is how it goes on. And the whole creation is created only by female energy escaping and the male energy chasing.

But the story is tremendously beautiful. It simply says: all are just forms -- only love continues. Maybe it is a cow, maybe it is a tree, maybe it is a peacock, maybe it is a man or woman -- these are just forms... God chasing His own creation. God has fallen in love with His own creation.

So everything comes and goes, only love remains. You will be gone, I will be gone, but the love that we lived will continue. It will enter into other beings, into other forms, into other vehicles, but it continues.

Amit Prem means the eternal love -- and amit has many other meanings also. It also means immeasurable -- that which cannot be measured. And in the eastern mind, the measurable is matter. In fact the word matter comes from a root which means that which can be measured. And that which cannot be measured is immaterial, that which cannot be measured is unlimited, has no form. So from this moment, think yourself more as formless love -- neither male nor female... not measurable. And that's what to me is to be in prayer.

If you can remind yourself again and again about the formless, the immeasurable, the eternal, in those moments when you forget your form, your limitation -- in those insights the infinite opens, you are transported, transfigured. And by and by those insights settle and they become almost part of you. It is not that they happen and go -- they are simply there... they become natural. They start following you like your climate.

So I know your old name has associations, an identity. It will be difficult but then it will be more paying too... to drop it completely as if the old man has died. Bernie is no more now, and you enter into a fresh world... with no past; again you are a child. And this is your birthday. From now onwards this will be your birthday and count your age from this day. Next year you will be one year old!

[The new sannyasin says: It seems to me that your books are one way of letting people know what you have to say. But there are going to be some who are not open. And my function in the past has been to open doors. I would like to serve in that way.]

You will have to! You have to do much more! You have to become an ambassador-at-large for me. You have to open many people's doors, and all the people with whom you have been in contact in your past, you have to bring them to me... you have to share me with them, so you do whatsoever you can. And much has to be done, because in the name of spirituality so much hocus-pocus is going on in America, and fools from the East are almost worshipped as sages. Mm? just anybody who comes from the East.

Prem means love and aneeta means amoral, beyond morality; love that is beyond morality. And because of too much emphasis on character, love has been sacrificed. Love is a flowing energy and character is a dead structure. Love is neither moral nor immoral -- it is amoral. Aneeta means amoral. And that's what I teach: don't be moral and don't be immoral. There are people who are moral -- then they are in a strait jacket -- and there are people who are immoral; they move to the opposite polarity.

When you move opposite to a lie, you again become a victim of another lie. Just somewhere in the middle is the truth.

So love in itself is enough -- it needs no character. Character always comes from the past and love is always of the present, it is always here now. If you are a wife to somebody, that is a past relation. If you are a husband to somebody, it is a past relationship. Love has to be lived moment to moment. One never knows -- the life of love is a very insecure life, but tremendously beautiful. Dangerous, adventurous, but the only way to live is to live in danger, and to live in adventure.

So never allow any character to accumulate around you and become an armour. Each moment the past goes on growing and the armour goes on becoming bigger and bigger, more solid and concrete -- and the soul is crippled, paralysed in it. The imprisonment goes on becoming bigger and bigger and the freedom is less every day: a child is more free, a young man less, the old man has almost no freedom at all.

To remain absolutely free is what a true and authentic life is. So never gather any character -- remain characterless. And that's what I mean when I say a man is religious. A religious man is characterless, unreliable, unpredictable but very alive, very spontaneous, very creative.

[The leader of the Soma group, who had come to darshan some nights ago about her relationship with her assistants (see 'God Is Not For Sale', Sunday, November 7th), returned to darshan tonight. She had asked one assistant to leave and said to Osho that in doing so she felt she had 'missed'.

She wondered if there was anything she needed to do or if she needed to change.... ]

Your problem is that deep inside you are very soft, but on the outside you have gathered a very hard crust -- and it happens for certain reasons.

When one is very soft inside, just to protect oneself one creates a crust around oneself of hardness, of steel. And it works in life but it won't work with me. In life there is a struggle; with me there is surrender. In life you need to be hard, otherwise you will be nowhere. There is a constant fight to survive and a soft person will be destroyed, will be crushed.

So soft people become very hard -- harder than the hard people. They compensate too much and they lose contact with their softness. Then there are many problems. Deep down you feel that you are soft, but whatsoever you do to people is hard and you don't understand it because that hardness is only on the outer periphery. So people come to know it because they are in contact with the outer periphery of your being, and you are in contact with your inner so inside you feel you are very soft and loving. So there is always a problem.

In all your relationships that problem has been there, and it reflects in any relationship. On the outside you are hard, a perfectionist, trying to drive people. So people around you start feeling that you are crushing them, destroying their freedom, turning them into slaves. And you don't understand it because this is just your outer crust -- but you have to look into relationships; relationships are mirrors.

And here there is no question of survival, there is no fight going on, there is no competition, nothing. You are not part of a society any more -- you are part of a family, and everybody is together here. So all that you have developed in your past hangs around you -- that has to be dropped, but one drops it only when there is some problem, otherwise one never becomes aware.

I was watching it: in every group all the assistants by and by leave, and nobody feels at ease with you. People feel you are heavy, too dominating -- and they are true. You are also true when you say that you are loving and not heavy, and you don't try to crush anybody's freedom; you simply want the work to be done; you care for the work. So you are also right, but you have to deliberately drop this hard crust. It is just a crust so it can be dropped very easily. And it has given you enough pain. You cannot succeed in any love relationship either because of this.

And there is a vicious circle. When you feel that you are failing in your love relationship, or in any relationship, you start being more dominating so that it should not fail -- and it is failing be-cause of your domination. When you see that again the same thing is happening and somebody is going away from you, you try to pull him too hard -- and he is escaping because you are too much. Simply drop this. And in a group many things have to be learned....

A groupleader is not only a leader -- a groupleader has to be a father, has to be a mother, a lover, a beloved, a child, a brother, a sister. A groupleader has to be so many things together, otherwise a groupleader is not really a groupleader. If you. are just a leader you know the technological aspect of it, but that won't help much. You have to be many more things. You have to be all aspects of humanity. They all will be needed. Sometimes the group will need you as a mother -- then be a mother. And you will have to be very flexible so you can fit into any role.

You should not have a very fixed attitude -- be flowing. And the assistants particularly have to be taken care of. Mm? there is a problem: when somebody assists, he feels humiliated just by the very fact that he is an assistant. Just the very idea that he is simply an assistant is humiliating. So the leader has to look after this -- that the person should not feel humiliated. A respect, deep respect should be given to him, and then you can take as much work from your assistants as you want and they will never feel hurt. They will be happy to do work. In fact the more you require, the more you demand, the more they will feel happy -- but a deep respect is needed so they don't just feel as if they are being used as means.

The groupleader has one thing -- he is the leader, so automatically he is in the centre; the assistant is in the shadow. A good groupleader will help the assistant to be more and more in the light so his humiliation is not there and by and by he can drop it and forget about it. So more and more the assistant becomes a co-leader, not an assistant. A co-leadership should develop in our groups, otherwise this problem is bound to arise again and again. And it will happen: in the beginning you will find a new person; he will be happy. After a few months when he has learned all the techniques, he will want to participate in the leadership. That desire is human and natural. And if you don't allow, he will start reacting, rebelling, will start resisting you, will not like to work or will work just anyhow, doing it as a duty; he will lose interest in it. So you have to remember this.

You always bring new people and for a few days you feel very good with them and they feel very good with you. After two, three groups when they have become alert and aware, they start creating trouble. And this is bad because again you have to teach new people, so your energy is wasted. Those who become ready leave, and again you bring new people, again teach them -- and you know it is going to happen. After two, three months they will leave because the same problem will arise again. So my feeling is that you have to be a little deliberate about it. Your crust has become almost unconscious, you are not aware of it.

So whenever you feel that somebody is feeling hurt, become more aware, become more loving... care more. A little care goes very deep and helps tremendously. Give the idea to the assistants that they are co-leaders: they co-operate with you, they don't assist you. Just a change of words sometimes can be of tremendous significance.

A little change is needed -- nothing is the problem. Your work is going well... everything is going well. Your group is growing very beautifully, many people are being benefited, and you are growing -- but this is just an old crust. Particularly in the West, and for women more so, it is happening. Women have a very soft core, and now in the West they are fighting with men so they are becoming as hard as men. They are trying to be as hard competitors as men are, they are trying to be aggressive. In fact they don't want to be feminine any more, they feel hurt by their very softness. It is very dangerous -- a woman has to be soft -- and this competition with man and imitation of man is very destructive. It is suicidal -- but it is happening.

You have been moving in that direction in your past... and this is some coincidence that many lib women are coming to me. All have the same problem, mm? They have grown a hard crust, and when you become too hard you lose your softness, your femininity -- you lose love. And then it becomes difficult. So you drop this, mm? Just for two, three months you have to be very conscious about it. And if you have dropped Chidananda, okay, nothing to be worried about. But don't make the same mistake with new people otherwise the same will happen after a few days. So try new people, but this time from the very beginning remain alert, mm? And it will be okay. Nothing to be worried about.

[A sannyasin says: I feel very much some sort of power coming up, and I feel I like to dominate people and just to nag them, talk to them and I feel that they get hurt. But at that moment I still enjoy it -- that they get hurt -- but then the consequence is that I hurt myself.

It is -- you are hurting yourself.

[The sannyasin replies: I haven't got to the roots of it yet. I don't see it. It takes me over.]

I think you can do [Soma] group and [the group leader] will dominate and show you. Do Soma. You try to dominate her and she will try to dominate you (laughter).

It comes to everybody, mm? because we have been brought up in that way. Deep down we have been conditioned that if you don't dominate others, others will dominate you -- so before others dominate you, it is better to dominate them. We have been brought up in a climate where there are only two possibilities: either you become a master or you become a slave. If you don't become a master, then woe to you -- you will be a slave. And it is better to be a master than to be a slave, so everybody tries: before anybody else dominates you, dominate! But whenever you dominate anybody, you hurt him, because nobody wants to be dominated. And when you hurt somebody you are basically hurting yourself because he is just like you! We are not separate! We are not like islands -- we are connected, members of each other, we are like a continent -- so when I hurt you, I hurt myself.

It is as if you are angry with your leg and you throw a rock at the leg. Sometimes people do that! They are angry at the wall and they will beat the wall and then their hand hurts.

Trying to dominate somebody simply shows that you are afraid of being dominated. So it is fear -- and this is no way to go beyond it. If you try to dominate others, others will try to dominate you. Maybe you can hurt them; then somebody else will come and hurt you. And this trying to be on top is such a tension that you will never be relaxed. And there is an alternative: there is no need to be either dominated or a dominator. There is a third alternative: one can simply be free of it -- neither dominated nor a dominator. That's what I call a sannyasin -- one whose will is not ready to dominate anybody and will not allow anybody to dominate him. He simply does not speak that language of aggression, he's simply not part of it -- he simply laughs at the foolishness of it. You do Soma, mm? Then we will see. It will go....