Life is a mystery. What we know as life, the way we know it, is not all. Much remains unknown. Perhaps everything remains unknown. What we do know is like someone seeing the waves and concluding he has known the ocean. The waves too belong to the ocean; yet by looking at waves, the ocean cannot be understood. And the one who gets entangled in waves may never even find the path to the ocean. In truth, the one who has taken waves to be the ocean, for him the very question of seeking the ocean will not arise.
What is visible to us is no more than the waves upon the ocean of life. What is invisible—that alone is the ocean. What is invisible—that alone is truly life. The visible is not the whole; it is an extremely tiny fragment of the whole. The invisible is the whole. But we all get stuck at the visible, and cannot reach the invisible. What is known is not even an atom, and what is unknown is the vast. Yet we all take the atom to be the vast, and the journey of life that could have reached the vast goes round and round the atom and is wasted.
When I say life is a mystery, I mean that the more we know, the more there will always remain open and free to be known. Knowing more will not finish life; rather, the more we truly know, the more the vanity of knowledge dissolves. The more one knows, the greater an ignoramus one becomes. Except for the ignorant, no one in this world suffers the delusion of being a knower. The knower begins to see that everything is unknown—and who could be a greater ignoramus than I! The more we know, the more we discover that we do not know; in fact, the knower himself slowly disappears. The more we search, the search does not complete; the searcher dissolves.
Therefore I say: life is a mystery, a mystery. Life is not a puzzle. There is a difference between a puzzle and a mystery. We call it a puzzle which can be solved. We call it a mystery that the more we resolve, the more its resolution becomes difficult. A puzzle is that which carries the full possibility of being solved, because it has been deliberately tangled. The tangle is made, manufactured. Life is not a puzzle. Its complexity is not fabricated, not manufactured. No one has tangled it. Only the solvers fall into tangles themselves.
Life is a mystery—which means: if you try to solve it, you will get entangled; and if you accept it simply, it is all already resolved.
Life is a mystery—which means: no matter from where and to where you travel, in the end wherever you arrive will be the very place from where you began. To say life is a mystery is to say that the point of beginning is also the point of culmination; and the means is the end; and the seeker is the sought.
This mystery—this life—certainly has a key, a secret key. We are here to understand, to seek that key.
The first thing: the person who goes to seek life through thought will only entangle it. Thought is not the key; it is a deception of the key. However much we think, the more we think the further we go from life. The more we think, the more the distance from truth increases. We are close to truth only in those moments when we are outside thought. The thinker will go astray.
Therefore in these four days I will not ask you to think. In these days we will try to experience. Not thinking, but experience; not thought, but felt-experience.
Experience is the key. Those who want to know, to open, to unveil this mystery, for them there is no path other than experience. But in the place of total experiencing we get caught in thought. We begin to think: what is truth? We begin to think: what is life? We begin to think: what is death? We begin to think... and the more we think, the more we attain to theories, but remain deprived of truth. All thinking can only give theories—dead, lifeless. All thinking can give scriptures—dead, lifeless. All thinking can give puzzles—self-made, self-solved. But by thinking no one has ever reached truth, nor can anyone ever reach.
So the first thing I want to say to you tonight is this: understand clearly that we have not gathered here for some thinking and discussion; we have gathered here for an experience. We do not want to think something; we want to know something. We will not discuss about food; we want to taste. We will not read scriptures about swimming; we want to swim. We will not go into theories about the beauty of flowers; we want to place the flower directly to our nose. No, we do not wish to get entangled in ideas about love; we want to drown in love.
Experience means: we want to enter, to dive, to get lost. Thinking—no, there is no question of thinking. Whoever sits thinking remains on the shore. And sitting on the shore, think as much as you like for births upon births—you will reach nowhere, you will just remain seated at the shore. It is not that someone else has been sitting on the shore for the first time; we too have been sitting on the shore of life for births upon births, thinking. There is no counting, no calculation possible of how many times we have sat on the bank of life. The journey is infinite. The tale is endless. Yet again and again we have continued to think. And again and again, thinking, we have died. We have not known that which was always near. The thinker never knows. The thinker moves far even from that which is near.
You may be sitting by my side and if I begin to think about you, then between us a distance of thousands of miles arises. The flower may be blooming close by, and if I begin to think about it, I go far from the flower. Thinking is distance; experience is nearness.
The first key to life's mystery emphasizes feeling-experience.
But this does not mean that when I say do not think, it means believe. No, I do not ask you to believe either. It appears that belief might be the opposite of thought—it is not. Those who think a little less, they believe. Belief too is a very dim, slow quantity of thought. Those who think a little, they believe; those who think more, they arrive at disbelief. Belief also is thought—tired, defeated. Belief is not experience. Neither thought is experience, nor belief is experience. Experience comes neither through thought nor through belief. Experience comes through experiment. A scientist is neither thinking nor believing in the laboratory; he is experimenting.
To which laboratory shall I take you? For life there is no outer laboratory. You are the laboratory. I would like to take you within yourself. For the search of life there is no need to go to any other laboratory, to any glass test tube. Within you is the whole awakened form of life. If you can go within, you enter the laboratory of life. This will not happen through belief, nor through thought. This entry within happens through resolve.
Hence the second sutra of this key is: resolve, will. The more intense the resolve to enter within, the more intensely the entry happens.
A friend has just written to me a small incident.
In Canada there was an actor—Charles Carlgon. Ten years before his death he made a will and said that when I die, my grave should be made in my village. His village lies on a small island near Canada, on Prince Island. I must be buried in my own village.
But when he made his will, he had money and he had fame. An actor's fame and money have no reliability. In truth, no one's fame or money has any reliability—what then to say of an actor's fame and money! When he died he was utterly a beggar. People had forgotten him. He had been counted among forgotten faces. And he died two thousand miles away from his village. He died in Texas. Who would care for his will! Who would take him there! He didn't even have money for a shroud. That too the townsfolk collected. Who would carry him two thousand miles! People buried him there.
At the last moment of dying his lips still had only one thing. His final words were also this: somehow send me to my village, and bury me beneath the very tree under which I was born. But how to take him there? He died; so they buried him there, two thousand miles away.
That night a very astonishing event occurred. Suddenly a storm arose. Such a storm as there was no likelihood of. Trees were uprooted, houses fell. The tree under which he had been buried was torn out with its roots, and his corpse too came out. He had been buried in a wooden coffin; with the coffin his body came out. The sea was two miles away; the storm pushed and shoved his body, his coffin, to the ocean. And for two thousand miles that corpse traveled and washed up on the shore of Prince Island where he had been born. When people opened the coffin, the whole body had decayed; only the face had remained intact. They recognized that it was Charles Carlgon, the actor born in their village. They buried him beneath the same tree where he had been born.
Someone sent me this news and asked: what do you say? Can this man's resolve before dying be so powerful? Is this only coincidence, or the result of his resolve?
Resolve can be that powerful. Our whole life we live and die by resolve. If it is weak, life is weak. If it is strong, life becomes strong. Man has only one power in his hands: the power of his will-force, his resolve.
No, neither by belief does one set out on the inner journey, nor by thought. Not by thinking, not by belief. One goes by will, by resolve.
It is necessary to understand resolve a little rightly. Resolve means that whatever decision I take is whole. The decision is not half. If I want to be silent, then my decision is whole, not partial. Let it not be that half my mind says, become silent, and half says, what will you gain by being silent? Then one half of your mind will cut the other half. Your effort will go in vain. It will be like a man placing one brick on the wall with one hand and removing a brick with the other; the house will never be built. We live almost like this. We all make resolves, but here we make and there we pull them down.
In the evening a man says: I must get up at five in the morning. And even as he says it, if he looks a little within he will know he will not get up. He knows it. He confirms firmly: at five I must get up! And yet, if he pays a little attention, he will find within this resolve to rise at five there is already a voice present saying: where will you get up! how will you get up! the night is very cold! But for now he smothers this voice and goes to sleep. At five, when the alarm rings, then the other voice—present in the evening too—says: such cold, think about it some other time, get up tomorrow. He sleeps again. In the morning he repents. When he turned over and slept at five in the night, there was also a voice within saying, what are you doing? You took a decision in the evening; you will have to repent in the morning! But he did not listen. In the morning he gets up and laments: I had made a decision, and what happened? Why did I not get up?
One's own resolve is cut by one's own half-resolve.
The greatest misery of human life is that the mind itself is divided into fragments, and they cut each other.
We are preparing in the coming days to go on an inner journey, in search of life, for the experience of the mystery—remember that the resolve must be whole; the preparation must be with the whole mind; the whole mind consenting—then in the world no one can stop you. In this world there is only one operative power: the power of our resolve. But if that itself is not with us, then we are utterly inert, dead while living.
So I want to say the second thing to you. The first: we have not gathered here to think. Therefore for these three days, drop concern for thought. We have not gathered here to believe. Therefore whether you are Hindu, Muslim, Jain or Christian—drop the concern. There is no purpose here for your beliefs. There is no relevance here of your ideas. Only your resolve has meaning. Search within and see: whatever I decide, is it whole?
Remember, small decisions suffice as a test. That is why I have thought: some of you who feel you can keep silence for three days—remain silent. Those three days of silence will become a great foundation for your resolve. For three days do not use words. There will be a little difficulty, not much. And within a day you will experience that much of what we speak is not needed at all; we talk unnecessarily. If needed, write a little on paper. Otherwise, if as many as possible can remain silent for three days, deep results will follow. A small resolve will become greatly useful. Those who can remain silent for three days—very small a thing, yet a big thing. Because if you can abide by the decision to be silent, a background for resolve will be built within you. And it will support the other experiments we are going to do.
A friend came to me and asked permission that for three days he will neither speak—he will renounce words; nor eat—he will renounce food; nor wear clothes—he will renounce clothing.
I consent. He will attain many results.
You too may search out your own resolve for these days; that will do. Silence is very good, simplest. Someone may want to fast for three days; let him fast. Someone may want to eat only once a day for three days; let him eat once. Someone may want to eat half; let him eat half. But whatever resolve you make, fulfill it for three days. Do not change it midway. If someone wants to drop clothes, then for three days drop clothes. Someone wants fewer clothes—then wear fewer. Whatever seems right to you, take up two or four resolves for three days and try to live in them. For three days do not break them; even if you break, do not break the resolves.
Sadhana is the expansion of resolve. How do we spread it around us? How does our personality become suffused on all sides by resolve? So I say this to everyone: make such small decisions for these three days. The examples I suggested are illustrative. Whatever comes to your mind, take two or four resolves in your mind for these days. There is no need to tell anyone, because no one has anything to do with it. And to the rest I say: if in these three days anyone seems to be doing anything, do not think about him, do not look towards him, do not be concerned—and kindly do not obstruct. Because who knows what resolve he has taken. If someone is standing in the sun, do not stop him saying, why are you standing in the sun! Perhaps he has taken a resolve—there he is standing. If someone stands for two hours, do not tell him to sit; perhaps he has resolved to stand for two hours. If someone lies on the sand, let him lie. Whoever is doing anything—here in this camp, no one has to perform any etiquette, any modesty, any formalities for anyone else. Here you are utterly alone; you have nothing to do with others.
So at least take this resolve—that I am alone here; I have nothing to do with the other. In these three days, who is doing what is his matter, his own work. If someone is found dancing on the path, do not be concerned. If someone is found weeping, do not be concerned. If someone is standing on the road laughing, do not be concerned. You remain on your path. And each person take the resolves he wants to fulfill in three days. Let him fulfill them. This is his private matter. What sadhana we will do is separate. This is private, through which the background of his will-power will be created.
Commonly people are heard saying something—and their statement is fundamentally wrong. Today a friend came; he said it seems to me that those whose will-power is less, the weak-willed, attain to meditation more quickly.
I said to him: this is the limit of foolishness. Such notions exist. In truth, those who do not attain need some justification as to why it is not happening to them. They say: because our will-power is too strong.
Then Mahavira must have had weak will-power! This man who in twelve years ate for only one year in total—the days he ate add up to three hundred and sixty-five in twelve years—surely the result of weak will-power. Buddha had weak will-power. Jesus had weak will-power that while being crucified he could say to God: forgive them all, for they know not what they do. Mansoor had weak will-power that even when his hands and feet were being cut, he kept laughing.
No. In this world those who have meditated are precisely those who have will-power. And if you cannot do it, know that your will-power is weak. And it can be raised, it can be awakened. But do not entertain such delusory notions that my will-power is too strong.
Will-power means this: that we can do what we intend to do. If we want to be silent, no power in the world can make us restless.
We have heard and seen of people who dance on burning coals. It is nothing but the power of resolve. A single firm idea: I cannot be burnt. This small conviction that I cannot be burnt grants such capacity to the feet that the ordinary law of fire does not operate. With only a little talent of resolve within, we can raise and awaken the greater resolve hidden within us.
Gurdjieff once stayed outside the village of Tiflis with some disciples, just as I have brought you here. He had told them all: whenever I say STOP!—stop!—then whoever, wherever he is, will stop there. If someone has lifted his left foot to step, it will remain lifted; it must not touch the ground. Even if he falls, let him fall, but on his part he must not place the foot down. If someone’s eyes are open, they will remain open; must not be closed by one’s own effort. If they close on their own, that is different—but let the inner remembrance remain: I have not closed them. If the mouth is open to speak, let it remain open.
He was making them do many experiments—experiments of resolve. We are dishonest even with ourselves. Someone who has lifted his left foot will think: in a second what does it matter if I place it down and then stop again? But this is not a matter of deceiving Gurdjieff. What has Gurdjieff to do with it! This is self-deception.
One morning a most strange event occurred. Near their camp was a canal. The canal was dry; water was not yet flowing. Three youths were crossing the canal. Suddenly Gurdjieff called out from inside the tent—STOP!—and they all froze in the canal. It was a dry canal then.
Just then, somehow, someone opened the sluice and a furious surge of water came. One youth, seeing the flood coming, leapt out. He said, Gurdjieff would not know; he is inside the tent. This meditation will become life-taking. He jumped out. Two stood fast. When the water rose up to their throats, the second youth thought: now it is getting a bit too much; I should get out. Until now it was fine; but how could Gurdjieff know that our lives will be lost here! He jumped out. One youth remained. The water touched his lips, then submerged his nose. In his mind too arose once or twice the thought to get out. But he said: when I have given my word, I will fulfill it. Another thought came: Gurdjieff is in the tent; how would he know! But he said: when I gave my word there was no condition that you would be in the tent or not, whether you would know or not. The only condition was: STOP means stop! Therefore no question arises now. The water flowed over his head.
Gurdjieff ran. He himself had got the canal opened. It was all arranged. He rushed out, jumped into the canal, pulled the youth out. He asked him: what happened in your mind when the water went over your head?
He said: in my mind? For the first time the mind ended, and only I remained. And I attained that for which I had come.
Gurdjieff said: but by merely drowning in a canal how could you attain?
He said: I did not drown in the canal; I drowned in resolve.
That man became a different man. Something crystallized at his center; something gathered. The soul of that person was born. He called upon his total power, which had been lying within, in one single throw.
In these three days there will be many such wagers. I will give you many kinds of challenges. If you can stake yourself, results will happen.
Keep remembrance of resolve. Decide your resolves. There is no need to tell anyone. Decide within—because it is your own matter. If you fulfill, it is you; if you fail, it is you. Honesty is toward oneself; dishonesty is toward oneself. There is no need to tell anyone; take it within. If you can fulfill, you will not have to return empty-handed from this camp. If you cannot, then understand that apart from me there is no other obstacle to my search. Yet everything can be fulfilled. There is no difficulty—except the thought of difficulty is the only difficulty: how to fulfill? So take up something small; there is no need of something big.
The third thing, before we begin meditation tomorrow morning, I should explain to you something about meditation so that it becomes clear in your mind.
First: the process of meditation is the process of awakening the dormant energy in ourselves. Call it Kundalini, call it prana, or give it any other name. So much within us is asleep; and unless it is awakened, the energy for our journey does not become available. The energy by which we live is very superficial. There is immense energy within us, resting, sleeping. We have never stirred it; perhaps we will never stir it in life. It will remain with us and we will die with it—as if a man has a vault and he keeps ten or five rupees in his pocket, and, considering that to be his wealth, he wastes his life; he remains hungry, thirsty, begs, and does not know of the vault that is his own. But such a foolish man would be found only with great difficulty after searching—one who has a vault and does not know of it. Yet as far as life is concerned, only such foolish men are found. Even with searching, the man will be rarely found who has used the total wealth of his life.
So the first step of meditation is to awaken the total energy within. To awaken this energy, a blow is needed—a certain hammering. We will use the breath for that. In the first ten-minute stage of meditation we will breathe so intensely that we will use the breath like a hammer. Let the breath strike within, throw it out, strike within. With that hammering we will begin to awaken the sleeping energy.
Perhaps you do not know that whenever you need energy, whether you are conscious of it or not, it is always through the blow of breath that energy is awakened. You may not have noticed: if you have to lift a heavy stone, suddenly you take a deep breath in and hold it, then lift the stone. Have you ever considered what relation exists between taking a deep breath and lifting a stone? Without that deep breath, if you continue to breathe ordinarily, you will not be able to lift the same stone.
Those who raised the stones of the pyramids—today scientists are very perplexed: there were no cranes then; how were such gigantic stones lifted onto the pyramids? It appears to them a miracle, one of the world’s wonders—that such huge stones, a hundred men together could not lift—how were they raised?
They do not know that in the Egypt where the pyramids were built, they knew a certain science, later forgotten—the secret of raising inner sleeping energy by blows of breath.
You may have heard the name of Ramamurti. He could allow an elephant to stand upon his chest. He could let a car or truck pass over his chest. Or if he grasped a moving car from behind, the wheels would go on turning, but the car could not move forward. And the secret was small, very small. The secret was: by the strike of breath, and by retaining the breath, he knew the device to summon the total energy within.
We have to strike and awaken the energy lying within. So in the first ten-minute stage of meditation we will breathe with such force that no possibility remains within that we could have breathed more. Put the total strength into the breath. And when you put your total strength into breath, the body will begin to sway, to tremble, to lilt. Do not stop it—from the very first stage—when it begins to sway, allow it to sway and begin to strike with the breath. The stronger the blow, the more the body will sway. The more it sways, the easier it becomes to strike. Do not become stiff and stand. Hammer with breath and allow the body to sway. Within ten minutes let the total air in the lungs be transformed—changed entirely.
Our lungs have some six thousand alveolar pockets. Our breath hardly reaches one and a half or two thousand; the remaining four thousand remain closed, accumulating carbon dioxide. Let fresh oxygen, fresh prana reach all the pockets. As soon as the proportion of prana increases within, the body’s electricity begins to awaken. You will experience that the body has become electrified; current begins to flow; every hair trembles; the body comes to the point of dancing.
This is the first stage. This stage has other meanings too—I will tell you those as well. If this stage is not completed, entry into the second is not possible. Like this: if someone has not stepped on the first step, he cannot go to the second. Place the foot on the first step—only then can you climb to the second. The other thing to remember: if this stage is not completed, there is fear of many harms.
Just the day before yesterday a Japanese seeker came to me; she is present in this camp. She asked me: in Indonesia there is a meditation experiment called Subud. In it this first stage is not there. In it the second stage is there; the third too is not there. What is my view about Subud?
If there is no first stage, as in Subud, there are great dangers. The first stage develops the total electricity of your body and forms a protective circle around you. If this circle does not form, you can be seized by such diseases as you cannot even imagine. You become non-resistant to diseases. That is why many who do Subud suffer strange ailments. Therefore the first stage must be completed. Around you the circle of electricity must be formed. Otherwise, in meditation a certain opening, a doorway, opens; through it anything can enter. And not only disease can enter; the greatest difficulty that has occurred to many Subud seekers is that certain malevolent entities can enter them.
In the state of meditation, the door of your heart opens. At that time anyone can enter. All around us many kinds of entities are constantly present. You alone are not present here—others too are present. Therefore in every case the first stage must be completed. If the first stage is complete, your body erects a certain resistance, a certain wall of protection; nothing harmful can enter within—and, also, none of your energy can leak out. It begins to function like a wall. As if we stretch an electric wire around our house with current running—then a thief cannot enter; touching the wire, he will be in trouble. The person inside also cannot go out by touching the wire. Exactly this vital function the first stage performs: it creates an electric circle around you. Nothing goes out, nothing comes in.
A third thing to understand about the first stage: when your energy is struck awake within, many kinds of experiences will begin in the body. I must tell you this so that you are not troubled, because there will be no way to ask in between. Many kinds of bodily experiences may occur—different for different people. Someone may feel the body has become very big—fear may arise. Someone may feel the body has become heavy like a rock—fear may arise. Someone may feel the body has become very small—he may want to open his eyes and see what is happening, have I disappeared! But do not open the eyes. You are where you are; nothing has been lost. All these perceptions begin to happen because new energy has awakened in the body. Someone may feel snakes and scorpions crawling; someone may feel ants moving; someone may feel a current of electricity flowing; someone may feel something like a waterfall cascading from above; someone may feel something rising from below upward. Such experiences will begin.
Along with this the body will want to make certain movements; do not stop them. When in ten minutes the body becomes fully charged, full of energy, then in the second stage we will let the body go; let it do what it wants. In the second stage give the awakened energy a chance to play. Cooperate with the energy that has awakened. Ordinarily we hold back; our lifelong habit is to repress everything. Even if laughter comes, we laugh softly, not loudly. Even if crying comes, we control—crying does not look good. As for dancing—no question. As for jumping—no question. There is no question of moving hands and feet disorderly. In life we keep everything repressed. When the energy awakens, whatever has been repressed will want to manifest. You may try to stop it—you can—but by stopping, great harm will follow. Because if the energy has awakened and you repress it, it will prove physically harmful to you. I will not be responsible. The meditation will go to waste—and harm will also begin. Knots and nodes will form in the body out of that energy; it will want to move out—and you will hold it in.
So as soon as the first stage has generated energy, whatever the body wants to do, give it total cooperation. Someone will begin to dance, someone to scream, someone to weep, someone to laugh, someone to make chaotic gestures, someone to form asanas—whatever the body wants to do, leave it utterly free, as if we have nothing to do—only to cooperate. Cooperate so intensely that if the hand is moving a little, give it full support so it moves fully.
There are harms in repression; there are unprecedented benefits in cooperation. If you cooperate fully, countless bodily illnesses that have been trailing behind you can suddenly dissolve. Unknown mental maladies encircling the mind—anger, lust, greed—you may suddenly find the mind has become light and they have washed away. Sorrow, depression, pain, hostility, jealousy—all may drop. If you have given the body full chance to play, then not only the body, the mind too undergoes catharsis, purgation. And the greatest use of this ten minutes is this: the body gets purged. The body and mind’s accumulated morbidity falls away. Only then can we enter meditation.
As someone climbing a mountain drops all burdens below. With burden on the back, it is impossible to climb. As the height increases, the burden must be dropped. The heights and depths of meditation are great; to enter them it is necessary to leave all burdens behind.
Therefore, those who feel inhibition—their time will be wasted. Those who keep etiquette—their time will be wasted. And not only time wasted—if they have completed the first stage, they will suffer positive harm. If they cooperate, they will return amazed within these three days that never in life were they so light, so weightless. Everything will become light.
In this second stage, many people may feel to throw away their clothes. If the thought arises, throw them away. Do not worry about anyone; do not take any concern. Here there will be no onlooker—everyone will be with eyes closed in his own work; no one has anything to do with anyone else. Many friends will feel that when the body is becoming very light, even a slight garment will suddenly feel like a mountain, like a rock. Mahavira was not mad that he became naked. There was a reason. And hundreds who practiced this meditation became naked—their nakedness had a reason. It is not that nakedness will become compulsory for you. Once the mind becomes light, you will return to the world, and can be simple and straight.
This catharsis does not continue forever. At most for three months; at least three weeks. If someone works very intensely, it will finish in three days. When all illnesses fall away, you will become utterly light and calm—then it will not continue. Even if you want to, you will not be able to do it.
Pay great attention to the second stage, because it is the most significant. It is the link, the bridge, to enter the third. And it is in the second that the greatest hindrance occurs. You cannot dance freely, nor scream, nor weep, nor sway. Then hindrance will arise. Unknown things will begin to come out of the mind. Animal-like sounds will begin to arise—you will be afraid: how can I make such sounds! Let them arise. Whatever is happening, accept it and give it your support—total support. If you can give total support, the result is assured. And the results will be amazing—beyond your imagination.
Only if the second is complete can we enter the third. If you get stuck at the second, you will remain stuck. And to be stuck at the second is even more harmful than to be stuck at the first. Because the body has begun to work and if you stop it, you may invite unknown new kinds of morbidities and new kinds of mental derangements.
The harm of any thing is as great as its benefit. The measures are equal. If you are taking the benefit, take it fully; otherwise harm will fall into your hands. Or else do not do it at all—then where you are is better. If you do it, do it with full understanding; do the whole experiment, so that no one suffers harm.
When in the second stage the body’s movements begin fully, the body will begin to appear separate to you. That is the precious experience of the second stage. When the body dances, screams, makes animal sounds, rambles anything, speaks anything, weeps, laughs—then for the first time you will notice that you are standing apart, watching—and this body is doing. This will be your first experience of separateness—that I am witnessing, and this is happening. We have heard much that I am separate and this body is separate. We are separate and this body is separate—this we have only heard. Now you will experience it. This is the fruit of the second stage—that the experience happens that I am separate and the body is separate. As soon as this happens, we will move into the third.
In the third stage ask within—Who am I? Ask so intensely; ask within—but ask so intensely that from the soles to the crown it echoes within—Who am I? Because when it is seen that I am not the body, then the question arises—who am I? Do not miss this moment. Ask with intensity. For ten minutes raise a storm within—Who am I? Leave no gap between two 'Who am I?'. And when you ask so intensely within, it is quite possible it begins to come out of your mouth. Do not be afraid of that. Begin within; if it comes outside, no worry—let it come.
In the third stage the body will go on swaying, dancing. Do not bother. Let it sway, let it dance. For ten minutes in the third stage ask 'Who am I?' with such intensity that no other thought remains. Put your whole energy into it—so that no thought remains. If you put your whole energy into the third stage, the fourth will become available.
In the fourth stage you have nothing at all to do. In three stages we have to do; in the fourth—rest. In the fourth, just... someone is standing—let him remain standing; someone has fallen—let him remain fallen; someone is sitting—let him remain sitting; as you are, remain so. In the fourth stage for ten minutes we will just wait—in whatever is—wait.
Much can happen. Much will happen. Much always happens. Let me tell you some experiences so that when they happen you are not troubled. Within someone there will suddenly be a lightning-like illumination. Within someone, a light as if thousands of suns were burning. Within someone, a light like the dawn of morning. In all, it will be different. Most will experience light. A few may experience dense darkness. No single experience is compulsory. They will differ, because each person differs. Someone may see blue color; someone red. Someone may hear sounds. Someone may taste something descending. Out of the five senses, experiences of any may begin. Such a light you have never seen outside will be seen within. Such a sound as you have never heard outside will be heard within. This will happen—in the fourth stage.
After the fourth, the fifth stage we will not take up here. You will do three stages; the fourth will be allowed to happen. And the fifth will happen later to you. For some, it may happen here. We will not speak of it. In the fifth, everything will be finished. Neither light will remain, nor darkness; neither sound will remain, nor color; neither taste will remain—everything will be lost; all experiences of the senses will be lost.
For what will happen in the fifth, there is no word. When it happens to you, only then will you know. Up to the fourth stage we will experiment. Up to the fourth we will meditate and the fifth will flower in you. For some it will flower here; for some, after returning home; for some it will take some time; for some, some time. But if you continue, the fifth too will come—when everything is lost; even the fourth’s experiences are lost.
In this whole process, resolve is the only foundation. Therefore before doing this process we will take a resolve three times, keeping Paramatma as witness. And throughout, we will remember to fulfill our resolve. Each stage must be brought to climax—to its peak, its utmost height. There can be no miserliness. As water boils—at one hundred degrees it boils. At ninety-nine it remains water; it does not boil, does not become steam. At one hundred degrees it becomes steam. So you must put your whole one hundred degrees of energy—then alone you will enter the next stage. And if you have put one hundred degrees into the three stages, you will find evaporation has happened. You will fly away; you will not remain. Someone else will arrive within you. That someone who arrives—call it life’s mystery, call it Paramatma, call it Samadhi, call it Moksha, call it the experience of Nirvana—whatever word you wish, you can give.
These three stages—whatever questions arise regarding them, write them down, and each night we will talk.
Now, I feel there is still time—so we will also do the experiment now. We will do it now so that from morning we begin fully, without any shortfall. This experiment is to be done standing. And stand at a distance from each other—here there is enough space—so that if someone dances no one is hurt, no one is pushed. And if you do get a push, do not be concerned—continue your work.
So spread out far apart. Do not talk at all. Do not talk at all. Keep distance. Stand in your places with space around you; then the lights will be put out. Do not talk. Keep distance. Look around and make sure you have space around you—that you can jump, leap, dance—and if another dances he will not bump into you.
First of all, this resolve: for forty minutes we are closing our eyes; these eyes will not open until I say so. For forty minutes the eyes are closing. Close your eyes. And not a single person will remain standing with eyes open in between. If someone wants to stand with eyes open, he should step out, outside. And those standing outside on the sides—no one will talk, otherwise it will hinder others. Those who want to stand silently outside—stand silently. No one with open eyes will be inside. Step out honestly. Whoever wishes to stand with eyes open, go out. And among those standing in the back, there will be no talking at all.
All right. Close your eyes. For forty minutes the eyes are closed—this is our first resolve. Fold both hands and, before Paramatma, take the resolve: Keeping the Lord as witness, I resolve that I will put my total energy into meditation! Keeping the Lord as witness, I resolve that I will put my total energy into meditation! Keeping the Lord as witness, I resolve that I will put my total energy into meditation!
Begin the first stage: for ten minutes, strike with the breath and awaken the inner energy. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. Put in total strength, take the breath in, throw it out. If the body begins to spring, do not worry. Deep breath, deep breath. Total strength must be used. Deep breath. See that no one stands idle—put in total strength. Deep breath. Strike fully; the inner energy will awaken. Strike. Take deep in-breaths, throw out deeply. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.
Seven minutes remain; put in total strength. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. The inner energy is awakening—dance—do not worry. Deep breath, deeper, and deeper. Energy will awaken throughout the body; the whole body will be filled with electricity—let it be filled. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.
Five minutes remain; put in total strength. Total strength—fill the whole body with breath. No worry, if dancing arises—do not worry. Deep breath. The body will sway—let it sway; it will tremble—let it tremble. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. Energy is awakening; every hair will begin to tremble; the body will sway—do not worry. Four minutes remain; I will become silent—put in total strength—then we will enter the second stage.
Deep breath, deep breath. Let no one fall behind, otherwise entry into the second stage will not be possible. Deep breath. Three minutes remain—put in total strength. Throw the whole breath out; take it fully in.
Two minutes remain—put in total strength. Deep breath, deep breath. Put total strength into breath—let not even a little lie sleeping. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.
One minute—then I will say one, two, three—then put in total strength, and we will enter the second stage. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. One! Put in total strength. Two! Three! Put in total strength.
Now enter the second stage. Let the body do whatever it wants. Let the body do whatever it wants. Dance, jump, weep, scream, laugh—whatever the body wants to do, let it do. Jump, dance, jump and dance in your place—do not move here and there. In your place jump, dance, weep, laugh, scream—whatever is happening—let it happen. Strongly, strongly, strongly, strongly, strongly, strongly. In your own place, in your own place—whatever has to be done—leap, jump, dance, weep, scream—but in your own place. Strongly, strongly. Tire the body completely. Strongly, strongly, strongly.
Perfect! Very good! Very good! Six minutes remain—put in total strength. Let the body’s illnesses flow out; let the mind’s diseases fall away. Laugh, weep, scream, dance.
Perfect! Strongly, strongly. Whatever is happening—let it happen, but let it happen strongly. Whatever is happening—if you are laughing, laugh strongly; if you are weeping, weep strongly; if you are screaming, scream strongly; if you are dancing, dance strongly—in your own place.
Five minutes remain—put in total strength; then we will enter the third stage.
Very good! Very good! Strongly, strongly. With total strength—scream, weep, laugh, dance. In your own place—do not move away—whatever you do, do it strongly in your own place. Four minutes remain—put in total strength—then we will enter the third stage. Strongly, strongly, strongly.
Three minutes remain—put in total strength. Dance, jump, scream, weep, laugh—whatever the body is doing—let it do. In your own place, let the body do whatever it is doing.
Two minutes remain—total strength. Bring a storm. Enter utterly into the storm. Whatever is happening—strongly. Whatever is happening—strongly. Strongly, strongly, strongly. The body will begin to appear separate—the body will appear utterly separate. Dance, jump, scream, weep, laugh—the body is separate. The more strongly you do, the clearer it will be that the body is separate. The more strongly you can do, the more the body will appear separate.
Very good! One minute remains. Now when I say one, two, three—put in total strength; set the body aside. One! Put in total strength. Two! Put in total strength. Three! Put in total strength; then we will enter the third stage. Scream strongly.
Now enter the third stage. Keep dancing; ask within—Who am I? Keep dancing; ask within—Who am I? Who am I? For ten minutes ask within—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Ask within, ask within—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Keep dancing, keep dancing; ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?
Within let only one question remain—from heel to head—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Sway, sway, dance—ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Tire the mind with asking—Who am I? Who am I?
See that those standing outside do not talk!
Who am I? Who am I? Seven minutes remain—ask your mind strongly—Who am I?—then we will rest. Whoever tires the most will go into the deepest rest. Who am I? Who am I? Sway, sway, dance; ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?
Very good! Ask—Who am I? If the sound comes out—do not worry—ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Ask strongly within—Who am I? If it comes out—do not worry. Who am I? Dance, jump, ask—Who am I? Who am I? Five minutes remain—put in total strength—then we will rest. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?
Very good! Very good! Jump, dance, ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? No worry—if the voice comes out, ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Four minutes—ask—Who am I?
See that those who are merely watching do not enter within. Watching gentlemen—stay outside.
Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Three minutes remain—put in total strength. Who am I? Dance, sway, ask—Who am I? Who am I?
Very good! Very good! A little time still remains—three minutes—put in total strength—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Strongly—two minutes remain—put in total strength. Who am I? Dance, jump, ask—Who am I? One minute remains—all strength must be used. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? One! Put in total strength. Two! Put in total strength. Three! Put in all the strength you have.
Now drop everything. Drop everything. Stop dancing, stop asking—enter the fourth stage. Do not ask, do not dance; drop, drop everything; for ten minutes become utterly void. Drop, for ten minutes go into the fourth stage. Drop—be silent. Do not ask now. Do not ask—drop—for ten minutes as if erased; for ten minutes as if dead. If standing—remain standing. If fallen—remain fallen. If sitting—remain sitting.
For ten minutes as if erased, finished. For ten minutes everything is empty. For ten minutes erased, finished—as if you are not. For ten minutes go into deep rest, and keep watching within what is happening. Within there will be only light upon light. Wondrous light will fill within. Light upon light, infinite light will fill within.
See that the onlookers do not move—wherever you are, stand silently, and do not talk. No one among the onlookers should talk—otherwise from tomorrow you will not be allowed to stand here.
For ten minutes as if dead, erased. Within only light remains. Within only light remains. Within only light remains. Light upon light, infinite light. As if erased—as a drop is lost in the ocean.
Keep looking within, keep looking within. See within, see within—let only the witness remain. Infinite light, infinite light remains. Streams of bliss will begin to flow, from the head to the feet streams of bliss will flow. Look within; only bliss will fill. In every pore, in every breath—only bliss will fill.
Only bliss remains. Look within, look within—through this bliss lies the path to the Lord. Through this light find His temple. Recognize well this glimmer of light. Recognize well this taste of bliss.
All is silent. All is empty. You are lost in some other world. This world has dissolved; some other world has begun. Within, look within, keep drowning—drowning. See—only light, only bliss remains.
All has become empty. All has become silent. Within only light remains. Infinite light—such light never known before. Unfamiliar, unknown light has filled. Only bliss, every pore, every breath filled with bliss. Take the taste of this bliss well; recognize it. In the coming three days, descend deeper and deeper into it. Each day go deeper. Each day you will go deeper. Resolve that in these three days its depth will go on increasing. In three days its depth will become immense.
Only light remains, only bliss remains. Only light remains, only bliss remains.
Now fold both hands, bow your head, and give thanks to Paramatma. Fold both hands, bow your head, give thanks to Paramatma. His grace is boundless! His grace is boundless! There is no end to His grace! His grace is boundless! Fold your hands, bow your head at His unknown feet. Give thanks. Pray that what has been received today may increase each day. Pray that what has been known today may go deeper each day. Pray that the resolve taken today may grow stronger each day.
His grace is boundless! From above, from below, from all sides His grace is showering! From all sides His grace is showering! His compassion is raining!
Now release both hands. Place both palms over the eyes, so that it becomes easy to open the eyes. Place both palms over the eyes; keep them there for a little while; take two or four deep breaths. Keep the hands over the eyes, take two or four deep breaths; then slowly separate the hands and open the eyes. If the eyes do not open, take two or four more deep breaths, keep the hands over the eyes, then open the eyes. Slowly separate the hands and open the eyes. Those who are standing, very gently sit down in your place. If you cannot sit, take two or four deep breaths, then sit. Those who have fallen, take two or four breaths, and slowly rise and sit in your place.
Do not talk. I have two or three things to say, then we will disperse. Sit silently in your place. If you cannot sit, take two or four deep breaths, then sit—do not hurry. If you cannot rise, take two or four deep breaths, then rise—do not hurry. Take two or four deep breaths, then sit quietly. Take two or four deep breaths, rise, and sit in your place.
Those lying down, who have fallen—let them take two or four deep breaths and sit in their place. Those standing, take two or four deep breaths and sit in your place. Those who have fallen, take two or four deep breaths, and rise to your place. Take two or four deep breaths and sit in your place. If you cannot rise, take two or four deep breaths, then rise.
Understand two or three things. In the morning come after bath. Most will remain in silence. Those who are not in silence—also come and sit absolutely quietly before meditation; avoid talking as far as possible. Come here and sit quietly. Come after bath. And in the morning do not put anything into the stomach; come empty.
The midday sitting will be of silence. For one hour you will sit with me in silence. At that time do nothing—just sit in silence with me. At that time too, whatever happens to anyone—let it happen. If someone starts screaming, someone starts dancing, jumping—whatever happens to whom—let it happen; do not stop anyone.
In the second session at noon, for an hour you can ask me personal questions. Those who have taken silence may also come then and ask. They may take that much liberty—that if they have something to discuss with me regarding meditation, if some experience has happened—do not speak of it to anyone at least for three days; whatever it is, say it to me. If you have to ask something, ask me. Once the experience becomes strong, only then it is proper to speak of it—otherwise harm occurs.
And in tomorrow night’s meeting, whatever questions you have, write them and give them to me—we will discuss them.
Some onlookers had gathered, and some of them kept coming inside in between. This will not do. From tomorrow no one will be allowed to stand here as a spectator. If you want to take part, enter the meditation; otherwise do not come here. If anyone is here as an onlooker, he will be sent out at once. Therefore only those who want to participate should come here, otherwise do not come. There is no need of onlookers here. And no one will walk here and there in between during meditation.
One more thing to remember: the space here is not very large, so jump and leap in your own place. Do not run. If you run, it will be difficult. There is not enough space; two or four may collide, fall—then their meditation will be broken. Keep to your own place; whatever you have to do, do there. Do not run.
You have done a very good experiment, as I said. At least fifty percent put in their full energy. There were results too. From tomorrow morning I would like the results to be one hundred percent, and one hundred percent of you to put in your strength. In three days, no one should return empty-handed. There is no reason to return empty-handed. Only if you do nothing will it be very unlikely. If you take one step, Paramatma is always ready to take a thousand steps. In these three days, everything within you can change. A power can descend within you—and all can be transformed.
Resolve, and do the full experiment for three days. The things I said earlier—think and take some resolves—fulfill them for three days. Keep as much silence as possible. Those who cannot remain fully silent—also keep as much quiet as you can. And if someone is sitting somewhere in the day, doing something, others must not in any way obstruct him.
May your resolve be fulfilled—this is my prayer to Paramatma.
Osho's Commentary
Life is a mystery. What we know as life, the way we know it, is not all. Much remains unknown. Perhaps everything remains unknown. What we do know is like someone seeing the waves and concluding he has known the ocean. The waves too belong to the ocean; yet by looking at waves, the ocean cannot be understood. And the one who gets entangled in waves may never even find the path to the ocean. In truth, the one who has taken waves to be the ocean, for him the very question of seeking the ocean will not arise.
What is visible to us is no more than the waves upon the ocean of life. What is invisible—that alone is the ocean. What is invisible—that alone is truly life. The visible is not the whole; it is an extremely tiny fragment of the whole. The invisible is the whole. But we all get stuck at the visible, and cannot reach the invisible. What is known is not even an atom, and what is unknown is the vast. Yet we all take the atom to be the vast, and the journey of life that could have reached the vast goes round and round the atom and is wasted.
When I say life is a mystery, I mean that the more we know, the more there will always remain open and free to be known. Knowing more will not finish life; rather, the more we truly know, the more the vanity of knowledge dissolves. The more one knows, the greater an ignoramus one becomes. Except for the ignorant, no one in this world suffers the delusion of being a knower. The knower begins to see that everything is unknown—and who could be a greater ignoramus than I! The more we know, the more we discover that we do not know; in fact, the knower himself slowly disappears. The more we search, the search does not complete; the searcher dissolves.
Therefore I say: life is a mystery, a mystery. Life is not a puzzle. There is a difference between a puzzle and a mystery. We call it a puzzle which can be solved. We call it a mystery that the more we resolve, the more its resolution becomes difficult. A puzzle is that which carries the full possibility of being solved, because it has been deliberately tangled. The tangle is made, manufactured. Life is not a puzzle. Its complexity is not fabricated, not manufactured. No one has tangled it. Only the solvers fall into tangles themselves.
Life is a mystery—which means: if you try to solve it, you will get entangled; and if you accept it simply, it is all already resolved.
Life is a mystery—which means: no matter from where and to where you travel, in the end wherever you arrive will be the very place from where you began. To say life is a mystery is to say that the point of beginning is also the point of culmination; and the means is the end; and the seeker is the sought.
This mystery—this life—certainly has a key, a secret key. We are here to understand, to seek that key.
The first thing: the person who goes to seek life through thought will only entangle it. Thought is not the key; it is a deception of the key. However much we think, the more we think the further we go from life. The more we think, the more the distance from truth increases. We are close to truth only in those moments when we are outside thought. The thinker will go astray.
Therefore in these four days I will not ask you to think. In these days we will try to experience. Not thinking, but experience; not thought, but felt-experience.
Experience is the key. Those who want to know, to open, to unveil this mystery, for them there is no path other than experience. But in the place of total experiencing we get caught in thought. We begin to think: what is truth? We begin to think: what is life? We begin to think: what is death? We begin to think... and the more we think, the more we attain to theories, but remain deprived of truth. All thinking can only give theories—dead, lifeless. All thinking can give scriptures—dead, lifeless. All thinking can give puzzles—self-made, self-solved. But by thinking no one has ever reached truth, nor can anyone ever reach.
So the first thing I want to say to you tonight is this: understand clearly that we have not gathered here for some thinking and discussion; we have gathered here for an experience. We do not want to think something; we want to know something. We will not discuss about food; we want to taste. We will not read scriptures about swimming; we want to swim. We will not go into theories about the beauty of flowers; we want to place the flower directly to our nose. No, we do not wish to get entangled in ideas about love; we want to drown in love.
Experience means: we want to enter, to dive, to get lost. Thinking—no, there is no question of thinking. Whoever sits thinking remains on the shore. And sitting on the shore, think as much as you like for births upon births—you will reach nowhere, you will just remain seated at the shore. It is not that someone else has been sitting on the shore for the first time; we too have been sitting on the shore of life for births upon births, thinking. There is no counting, no calculation possible of how many times we have sat on the bank of life. The journey is infinite. The tale is endless. Yet again and again we have continued to think. And again and again, thinking, we have died. We have not known that which was always near. The thinker never knows. The thinker moves far even from that which is near.
You may be sitting by my side and if I begin to think about you, then between us a distance of thousands of miles arises. The flower may be blooming close by, and if I begin to think about it, I go far from the flower. Thinking is distance; experience is nearness.
The first key to life's mystery emphasizes feeling-experience.
But this does not mean that when I say do not think, it means believe. No, I do not ask you to believe either. It appears that belief might be the opposite of thought—it is not. Those who think a little less, they believe. Belief too is a very dim, slow quantity of thought. Those who think a little, they believe; those who think more, they arrive at disbelief. Belief also is thought—tired, defeated. Belief is not experience. Neither thought is experience, nor belief is experience. Experience comes neither through thought nor through belief. Experience comes through experiment. A scientist is neither thinking nor believing in the laboratory; he is experimenting.
To which laboratory shall I take you? For life there is no outer laboratory. You are the laboratory. I would like to take you within yourself. For the search of life there is no need to go to any other laboratory, to any glass test tube. Within you is the whole awakened form of life. If you can go within, you enter the laboratory of life. This will not happen through belief, nor through thought. This entry within happens through resolve.
Hence the second sutra of this key is: resolve, will. The more intense the resolve to enter within, the more intensely the entry happens.
A friend has just written to me a small incident.
In Canada there was an actor—Charles Carlgon. Ten years before his death he made a will and said that when I die, my grave should be made in my village. His village lies on a small island near Canada, on Prince Island. I must be buried in my own village.
But when he made his will, he had money and he had fame. An actor's fame and money have no reliability. In truth, no one's fame or money has any reliability—what then to say of an actor's fame and money! When he died he was utterly a beggar. People had forgotten him. He had been counted among forgotten faces. And he died two thousand miles away from his village. He died in Texas. Who would care for his will! Who would take him there! He didn't even have money for a shroud. That too the townsfolk collected. Who would carry him two thousand miles! People buried him there.
At the last moment of dying his lips still had only one thing. His final words were also this: somehow send me to my village, and bury me beneath the very tree under which I was born. But how to take him there? He died; so they buried him there, two thousand miles away.
That night a very astonishing event occurred. Suddenly a storm arose. Such a storm as there was no likelihood of. Trees were uprooted, houses fell. The tree under which he had been buried was torn out with its roots, and his corpse too came out. He had been buried in a wooden coffin; with the coffin his body came out. The sea was two miles away; the storm pushed and shoved his body, his coffin, to the ocean. And for two thousand miles that corpse traveled and washed up on the shore of Prince Island where he had been born. When people opened the coffin, the whole body had decayed; only the face had remained intact. They recognized that it was Charles Carlgon, the actor born in their village. They buried him beneath the same tree where he had been born.
Someone sent me this news and asked: what do you say? Can this man's resolve before dying be so powerful? Is this only coincidence, or the result of his resolve?
Resolve can be that powerful. Our whole life we live and die by resolve. If it is weak, life is weak. If it is strong, life becomes strong. Man has only one power in his hands: the power of his will-force, his resolve.
No, neither by belief does one set out on the inner journey, nor by thought. Not by thinking, not by belief. One goes by will, by resolve.
It is necessary to understand resolve a little rightly. Resolve means that whatever decision I take is whole. The decision is not half. If I want to be silent, then my decision is whole, not partial. Let it not be that half my mind says, become silent, and half says, what will you gain by being silent? Then one half of your mind will cut the other half. Your effort will go in vain. It will be like a man placing one brick on the wall with one hand and removing a brick with the other; the house will never be built. We live almost like this. We all make resolves, but here we make and there we pull them down.
In the evening a man says: I must get up at five in the morning. And even as he says it, if he looks a little within he will know he will not get up. He knows it. He confirms firmly: at five I must get up! And yet, if he pays a little attention, he will find within this resolve to rise at five there is already a voice present saying: where will you get up! how will you get up! the night is very cold! But for now he smothers this voice and goes to sleep. At five, when the alarm rings, then the other voice—present in the evening too—says: such cold, think about it some other time, get up tomorrow. He sleeps again. In the morning he repents. When he turned over and slept at five in the night, there was also a voice within saying, what are you doing? You took a decision in the evening; you will have to repent in the morning! But he did not listen. In the morning he gets up and laments: I had made a decision, and what happened? Why did I not get up?
One's own resolve is cut by one's own half-resolve.
The greatest misery of human life is that the mind itself is divided into fragments, and they cut each other.
We are preparing in the coming days to go on an inner journey, in search of life, for the experience of the mystery—remember that the resolve must be whole; the preparation must be with the whole mind; the whole mind consenting—then in the world no one can stop you. In this world there is only one operative power: the power of our resolve. But if that itself is not with us, then we are utterly inert, dead while living.
So I want to say the second thing to you. The first: we have not gathered here to think. Therefore for these three days, drop concern for thought. We have not gathered here to believe. Therefore whether you are Hindu, Muslim, Jain or Christian—drop the concern. There is no purpose here for your beliefs. There is no relevance here of your ideas. Only your resolve has meaning. Search within and see: whatever I decide, is it whole?
Remember, small decisions suffice as a test. That is why I have thought: some of you who feel you can keep silence for three days—remain silent. Those three days of silence will become a great foundation for your resolve. For three days do not use words. There will be a little difficulty, not much. And within a day you will experience that much of what we speak is not needed at all; we talk unnecessarily. If needed, write a little on paper. Otherwise, if as many as possible can remain silent for three days, deep results will follow. A small resolve will become greatly useful. Those who can remain silent for three days—very small a thing, yet a big thing. Because if you can abide by the decision to be silent, a background for resolve will be built within you. And it will support the other experiments we are going to do.
A friend came to me and asked permission that for three days he will neither speak—he will renounce words; nor eat—he will renounce food; nor wear clothes—he will renounce clothing.
I consent. He will attain many results.
You too may search out your own resolve for these days; that will do. Silence is very good, simplest. Someone may want to fast for three days; let him fast. Someone may want to eat only once a day for three days; let him eat once. Someone may want to eat half; let him eat half. But whatever resolve you make, fulfill it for three days. Do not change it midway. If someone wants to drop clothes, then for three days drop clothes. Someone wants fewer clothes—then wear fewer. Whatever seems right to you, take up two or four resolves for three days and try to live in them. For three days do not break them; even if you break, do not break the resolves.
Sadhana is the expansion of resolve. How do we spread it around us? How does our personality become suffused on all sides by resolve? So I say this to everyone: make such small decisions for these three days. The examples I suggested are illustrative. Whatever comes to your mind, take two or four resolves in your mind for these days. There is no need to tell anyone, because no one has anything to do with it. And to the rest I say: if in these three days anyone seems to be doing anything, do not think about him, do not look towards him, do not be concerned—and kindly do not obstruct. Because who knows what resolve he has taken. If someone is standing in the sun, do not stop him saying, why are you standing in the sun! Perhaps he has taken a resolve—there he is standing. If someone stands for two hours, do not tell him to sit; perhaps he has resolved to stand for two hours. If someone lies on the sand, let him lie. Whoever is doing anything—here in this camp, no one has to perform any etiquette, any modesty, any formalities for anyone else. Here you are utterly alone; you have nothing to do with others.
So at least take this resolve—that I am alone here; I have nothing to do with the other. In these three days, who is doing what is his matter, his own work. If someone is found dancing on the path, do not be concerned. If someone is found weeping, do not be concerned. If someone is standing on the road laughing, do not be concerned. You remain on your path. And each person take the resolves he wants to fulfill in three days. Let him fulfill them. This is his private matter. What sadhana we will do is separate. This is private, through which the background of his will-power will be created.
Commonly people are heard saying something—and their statement is fundamentally wrong. Today a friend came; he said it seems to me that those whose will-power is less, the weak-willed, attain to meditation more quickly.
I said to him: this is the limit of foolishness. Such notions exist. In truth, those who do not attain need some justification as to why it is not happening to them. They say: because our will-power is too strong.
Then Mahavira must have had weak will-power! This man who in twelve years ate for only one year in total—the days he ate add up to three hundred and sixty-five in twelve years—surely the result of weak will-power. Buddha had weak will-power. Jesus had weak will-power that while being crucified he could say to God: forgive them all, for they know not what they do. Mansoor had weak will-power that even when his hands and feet were being cut, he kept laughing.
No. In this world those who have meditated are precisely those who have will-power. And if you cannot do it, know that your will-power is weak. And it can be raised, it can be awakened. But do not entertain such delusory notions that my will-power is too strong.
Will-power means this: that we can do what we intend to do. If we want to be silent, no power in the world can make us restless.
We have heard and seen of people who dance on burning coals. It is nothing but the power of resolve. A single firm idea: I cannot be burnt. This small conviction that I cannot be burnt grants such capacity to the feet that the ordinary law of fire does not operate. With only a little talent of resolve within, we can raise and awaken the greater resolve hidden within us.
Gurdjieff once stayed outside the village of Tiflis with some disciples, just as I have brought you here. He had told them all: whenever I say STOP!—stop!—then whoever, wherever he is, will stop there. If someone has lifted his left foot to step, it will remain lifted; it must not touch the ground. Even if he falls, let him fall, but on his part he must not place the foot down. If someone’s eyes are open, they will remain open; must not be closed by one’s own effort. If they close on their own, that is different—but let the inner remembrance remain: I have not closed them. If the mouth is open to speak, let it remain open.
He was making them do many experiments—experiments of resolve. We are dishonest even with ourselves. Someone who has lifted his left foot will think: in a second what does it matter if I place it down and then stop again? But this is not a matter of deceiving Gurdjieff. What has Gurdjieff to do with it! This is self-deception.
One morning a most strange event occurred. Near their camp was a canal. The canal was dry; water was not yet flowing. Three youths were crossing the canal. Suddenly Gurdjieff called out from inside the tent—STOP!—and they all froze in the canal. It was a dry canal then.
Just then, somehow, someone opened the sluice and a furious surge of water came. One youth, seeing the flood coming, leapt out. He said, Gurdjieff would not know; he is inside the tent. This meditation will become life-taking. He jumped out. Two stood fast. When the water rose up to their throats, the second youth thought: now it is getting a bit too much; I should get out. Until now it was fine; but how could Gurdjieff know that our lives will be lost here! He jumped out. One youth remained. The water touched his lips, then submerged his nose. In his mind too arose once or twice the thought to get out. But he said: when I have given my word, I will fulfill it. Another thought came: Gurdjieff is in the tent; how would he know! But he said: when I gave my word there was no condition that you would be in the tent or not, whether you would know or not. The only condition was: STOP means stop! Therefore no question arises now. The water flowed over his head.
Gurdjieff ran. He himself had got the canal opened. It was all arranged. He rushed out, jumped into the canal, pulled the youth out. He asked him: what happened in your mind when the water went over your head?
He said: in my mind? For the first time the mind ended, and only I remained. And I attained that for which I had come.
Gurdjieff said: but by merely drowning in a canal how could you attain?
He said: I did not drown in the canal; I drowned in resolve.
That man became a different man. Something crystallized at his center; something gathered. The soul of that person was born. He called upon his total power, which had been lying within, in one single throw.
In these three days there will be many such wagers. I will give you many kinds of challenges. If you can stake yourself, results will happen.
Keep remembrance of resolve. Decide your resolves. There is no need to tell anyone. Decide within—because it is your own matter. If you fulfill, it is you; if you fail, it is you. Honesty is toward oneself; dishonesty is toward oneself. There is no need to tell anyone; take it within. If you can fulfill, you will not have to return empty-handed from this camp. If you cannot, then understand that apart from me there is no other obstacle to my search. Yet everything can be fulfilled. There is no difficulty—except the thought of difficulty is the only difficulty: how to fulfill? So take up something small; there is no need of something big.
The third thing, before we begin meditation tomorrow morning, I should explain to you something about meditation so that it becomes clear in your mind.
First: the process of meditation is the process of awakening the dormant energy in ourselves. Call it Kundalini, call it prana, or give it any other name. So much within us is asleep; and unless it is awakened, the energy for our journey does not become available. The energy by which we live is very superficial. There is immense energy within us, resting, sleeping. We have never stirred it; perhaps we will never stir it in life. It will remain with us and we will die with it—as if a man has a vault and he keeps ten or five rupees in his pocket, and, considering that to be his wealth, he wastes his life; he remains hungry, thirsty, begs, and does not know of the vault that is his own. But such a foolish man would be found only with great difficulty after searching—one who has a vault and does not know of it. Yet as far as life is concerned, only such foolish men are found. Even with searching, the man will be rarely found who has used the total wealth of his life.
So the first step of meditation is to awaken the total energy within. To awaken this energy, a blow is needed—a certain hammering. We will use the breath for that. In the first ten-minute stage of meditation we will breathe so intensely that we will use the breath like a hammer. Let the breath strike within, throw it out, strike within. With that hammering we will begin to awaken the sleeping energy.
Perhaps you do not know that whenever you need energy, whether you are conscious of it or not, it is always through the blow of breath that energy is awakened. You may not have noticed: if you have to lift a heavy stone, suddenly you take a deep breath in and hold it, then lift the stone. Have you ever considered what relation exists between taking a deep breath and lifting a stone? Without that deep breath, if you continue to breathe ordinarily, you will not be able to lift the same stone.
Those who raised the stones of the pyramids—today scientists are very perplexed: there were no cranes then; how were such gigantic stones lifted onto the pyramids? It appears to them a miracle, one of the world’s wonders—that such huge stones, a hundred men together could not lift—how were they raised?
They do not know that in the Egypt where the pyramids were built, they knew a certain science, later forgotten—the secret of raising inner sleeping energy by blows of breath.
You may have heard the name of Ramamurti. He could allow an elephant to stand upon his chest. He could let a car or truck pass over his chest. Or if he grasped a moving car from behind, the wheels would go on turning, but the car could not move forward. And the secret was small, very small. The secret was: by the strike of breath, and by retaining the breath, he knew the device to summon the total energy within.
We have to strike and awaken the energy lying within. So in the first ten-minute stage of meditation we will breathe with such force that no possibility remains within that we could have breathed more. Put the total strength into the breath. And when you put your total strength into breath, the body will begin to sway, to tremble, to lilt. Do not stop it—from the very first stage—when it begins to sway, allow it to sway and begin to strike with the breath. The stronger the blow, the more the body will sway. The more it sways, the easier it becomes to strike. Do not become stiff and stand. Hammer with breath and allow the body to sway. Within ten minutes let the total air in the lungs be transformed—changed entirely.
Our lungs have some six thousand alveolar pockets. Our breath hardly reaches one and a half or two thousand; the remaining four thousand remain closed, accumulating carbon dioxide. Let fresh oxygen, fresh prana reach all the pockets. As soon as the proportion of prana increases within, the body’s electricity begins to awaken. You will experience that the body has become electrified; current begins to flow; every hair trembles; the body comes to the point of dancing.
This is the first stage. This stage has other meanings too—I will tell you those as well. If this stage is not completed, entry into the second is not possible. Like this: if someone has not stepped on the first step, he cannot go to the second. Place the foot on the first step—only then can you climb to the second. The other thing to remember: if this stage is not completed, there is fear of many harms.
Just the day before yesterday a Japanese seeker came to me; she is present in this camp. She asked me: in Indonesia there is a meditation experiment called Subud. In it this first stage is not there. In it the second stage is there; the third too is not there. What is my view about Subud?
If there is no first stage, as in Subud, there are great dangers. The first stage develops the total electricity of your body and forms a protective circle around you. If this circle does not form, you can be seized by such diseases as you cannot even imagine. You become non-resistant to diseases. That is why many who do Subud suffer strange ailments. Therefore the first stage must be completed. Around you the circle of electricity must be formed. Otherwise, in meditation a certain opening, a doorway, opens; through it anything can enter. And not only disease can enter; the greatest difficulty that has occurred to many Subud seekers is that certain malevolent entities can enter them.
In the state of meditation, the door of your heart opens. At that time anyone can enter. All around us many kinds of entities are constantly present. You alone are not present here—others too are present. Therefore in every case the first stage must be completed. If the first stage is complete, your body erects a certain resistance, a certain wall of protection; nothing harmful can enter within—and, also, none of your energy can leak out. It begins to function like a wall. As if we stretch an electric wire around our house with current running—then a thief cannot enter; touching the wire, he will be in trouble. The person inside also cannot go out by touching the wire. Exactly this vital function the first stage performs: it creates an electric circle around you. Nothing goes out, nothing comes in.
A third thing to understand about the first stage: when your energy is struck awake within, many kinds of experiences will begin in the body. I must tell you this so that you are not troubled, because there will be no way to ask in between. Many kinds of bodily experiences may occur—different for different people. Someone may feel the body has become very big—fear may arise. Someone may feel the body has become heavy like a rock—fear may arise. Someone may feel the body has become very small—he may want to open his eyes and see what is happening, have I disappeared! But do not open the eyes. You are where you are; nothing has been lost. All these perceptions begin to happen because new energy has awakened in the body. Someone may feel snakes and scorpions crawling; someone may feel ants moving; someone may feel a current of electricity flowing; someone may feel something like a waterfall cascading from above; someone may feel something rising from below upward. Such experiences will begin.
Along with this the body will want to make certain movements; do not stop them. When in ten minutes the body becomes fully charged, full of energy, then in the second stage we will let the body go; let it do what it wants. In the second stage give the awakened energy a chance to play. Cooperate with the energy that has awakened. Ordinarily we hold back; our lifelong habit is to repress everything. Even if laughter comes, we laugh softly, not loudly. Even if crying comes, we control—crying does not look good. As for dancing—no question. As for jumping—no question. There is no question of moving hands and feet disorderly. In life we keep everything repressed. When the energy awakens, whatever has been repressed will want to manifest. You may try to stop it—you can—but by stopping, great harm will follow. Because if the energy has awakened and you repress it, it will prove physically harmful to you. I will not be responsible. The meditation will go to waste—and harm will also begin. Knots and nodes will form in the body out of that energy; it will want to move out—and you will hold it in.
So as soon as the first stage has generated energy, whatever the body wants to do, give it total cooperation. Someone will begin to dance, someone to scream, someone to weep, someone to laugh, someone to make chaotic gestures, someone to form asanas—whatever the body wants to do, leave it utterly free, as if we have nothing to do—only to cooperate. Cooperate so intensely that if the hand is moving a little, give it full support so it moves fully.
There are harms in repression; there are unprecedented benefits in cooperation. If you cooperate fully, countless bodily illnesses that have been trailing behind you can suddenly dissolve. Unknown mental maladies encircling the mind—anger, lust, greed—you may suddenly find the mind has become light and they have washed away. Sorrow, depression, pain, hostility, jealousy—all may drop. If you have given the body full chance to play, then not only the body, the mind too undergoes catharsis, purgation. And the greatest use of this ten minutes is this: the body gets purged. The body and mind’s accumulated morbidity falls away. Only then can we enter meditation.
As someone climbing a mountain drops all burdens below. With burden on the back, it is impossible to climb. As the height increases, the burden must be dropped. The heights and depths of meditation are great; to enter them it is necessary to leave all burdens behind.
Therefore, those who feel inhibition—their time will be wasted. Those who keep etiquette—their time will be wasted. And not only time wasted—if they have completed the first stage, they will suffer positive harm. If they cooperate, they will return amazed within these three days that never in life were they so light, so weightless. Everything will become light.
In this second stage, many people may feel to throw away their clothes. If the thought arises, throw them away. Do not worry about anyone; do not take any concern. Here there will be no onlooker—everyone will be with eyes closed in his own work; no one has anything to do with anyone else. Many friends will feel that when the body is becoming very light, even a slight garment will suddenly feel like a mountain, like a rock. Mahavira was not mad that he became naked. There was a reason. And hundreds who practiced this meditation became naked—their nakedness had a reason. It is not that nakedness will become compulsory for you. Once the mind becomes light, you will return to the world, and can be simple and straight.
This catharsis does not continue forever. At most for three months; at least three weeks. If someone works very intensely, it will finish in three days. When all illnesses fall away, you will become utterly light and calm—then it will not continue. Even if you want to, you will not be able to do it.
Pay great attention to the second stage, because it is the most significant. It is the link, the bridge, to enter the third. And it is in the second that the greatest hindrance occurs. You cannot dance freely, nor scream, nor weep, nor sway. Then hindrance will arise. Unknown things will begin to come out of the mind. Animal-like sounds will begin to arise—you will be afraid: how can I make such sounds! Let them arise. Whatever is happening, accept it and give it your support—total support. If you can give total support, the result is assured. And the results will be amazing—beyond your imagination.
Only if the second is complete can we enter the third. If you get stuck at the second, you will remain stuck. And to be stuck at the second is even more harmful than to be stuck at the first. Because the body has begun to work and if you stop it, you may invite unknown new kinds of morbidities and new kinds of mental derangements.
The harm of any thing is as great as its benefit. The measures are equal. If you are taking the benefit, take it fully; otherwise harm will fall into your hands. Or else do not do it at all—then where you are is better. If you do it, do it with full understanding; do the whole experiment, so that no one suffers harm.
When in the second stage the body’s movements begin fully, the body will begin to appear separate to you. That is the precious experience of the second stage. When the body dances, screams, makes animal sounds, rambles anything, speaks anything, weeps, laughs—then for the first time you will notice that you are standing apart, watching—and this body is doing. This will be your first experience of separateness—that I am witnessing, and this is happening. We have heard much that I am separate and this body is separate. We are separate and this body is separate—this we have only heard. Now you will experience it. This is the fruit of the second stage—that the experience happens that I am separate and the body is separate. As soon as this happens, we will move into the third.
In the third stage ask within—Who am I? Ask so intensely; ask within—but ask so intensely that from the soles to the crown it echoes within—Who am I? Because when it is seen that I am not the body, then the question arises—who am I? Do not miss this moment. Ask with intensity. For ten minutes raise a storm within—Who am I? Leave no gap between two 'Who am I?'. And when you ask so intensely within, it is quite possible it begins to come out of your mouth. Do not be afraid of that. Begin within; if it comes outside, no worry—let it come.
In the third stage the body will go on swaying, dancing. Do not bother. Let it sway, let it dance. For ten minutes in the third stage ask 'Who am I?' with such intensity that no other thought remains. Put your whole energy into it—so that no thought remains. If you put your whole energy into the third stage, the fourth will become available.
In the fourth stage you have nothing at all to do. In three stages we have to do; in the fourth—rest. In the fourth, just... someone is standing—let him remain standing; someone has fallen—let him remain fallen; someone is sitting—let him remain sitting; as you are, remain so. In the fourth stage for ten minutes we will just wait—in whatever is—wait.
Much can happen. Much will happen. Much always happens. Let me tell you some experiences so that when they happen you are not troubled. Within someone there will suddenly be a lightning-like illumination. Within someone, a light as if thousands of suns were burning. Within someone, a light like the dawn of morning. In all, it will be different. Most will experience light. A few may experience dense darkness. No single experience is compulsory. They will differ, because each person differs. Someone may see blue color; someone red. Someone may hear sounds. Someone may taste something descending. Out of the five senses, experiences of any may begin. Such a light you have never seen outside will be seen within. Such a sound as you have never heard outside will be heard within. This will happen—in the fourth stage.
After the fourth, the fifth stage we will not take up here. You will do three stages; the fourth will be allowed to happen. And the fifth will happen later to you. For some, it may happen here. We will not speak of it. In the fifth, everything will be finished. Neither light will remain, nor darkness; neither sound will remain, nor color; neither taste will remain—everything will be lost; all experiences of the senses will be lost.
For what will happen in the fifth, there is no word. When it happens to you, only then will you know. Up to the fourth stage we will experiment. Up to the fourth we will meditate and the fifth will flower in you. For some it will flower here; for some, after returning home; for some it will take some time; for some, some time. But if you continue, the fifth too will come—when everything is lost; even the fourth’s experiences are lost.
In this whole process, resolve is the only foundation. Therefore before doing this process we will take a resolve three times, keeping Paramatma as witness. And throughout, we will remember to fulfill our resolve. Each stage must be brought to climax—to its peak, its utmost height. There can be no miserliness. As water boils—at one hundred degrees it boils. At ninety-nine it remains water; it does not boil, does not become steam. At one hundred degrees it becomes steam. So you must put your whole one hundred degrees of energy—then alone you will enter the next stage. And if you have put one hundred degrees into the three stages, you will find evaporation has happened. You will fly away; you will not remain. Someone else will arrive within you. That someone who arrives—call it life’s mystery, call it Paramatma, call it Samadhi, call it Moksha, call it the experience of Nirvana—whatever word you wish, you can give.
These three stages—whatever questions arise regarding them, write them down, and each night we will talk.
Now, I feel there is still time—so we will also do the experiment now. We will do it now so that from morning we begin fully, without any shortfall. This experiment is to be done standing. And stand at a distance from each other—here there is enough space—so that if someone dances no one is hurt, no one is pushed. And if you do get a push, do not be concerned—continue your work.
So spread out far apart. Do not talk at all. Do not talk at all. Keep distance. Stand in your places with space around you; then the lights will be put out. Do not talk. Keep distance. Look around and make sure you have space around you—that you can jump, leap, dance—and if another dances he will not bump into you.
First of all, this resolve: for forty minutes we are closing our eyes; these eyes will not open until I say so. For forty minutes the eyes are closing. Close your eyes. And not a single person will remain standing with eyes open in between. If someone wants to stand with eyes open, he should step out, outside. And those standing outside on the sides—no one will talk, otherwise it will hinder others. Those who want to stand silently outside—stand silently. No one with open eyes will be inside. Step out honestly. Whoever wishes to stand with eyes open, go out. And among those standing in the back, there will be no talking at all.
All right. Close your eyes. For forty minutes the eyes are closed—this is our first resolve. Fold both hands and, before Paramatma, take the resolve: Keeping the Lord as witness, I resolve that I will put my total energy into meditation! Keeping the Lord as witness, I resolve that I will put my total energy into meditation! Keeping the Lord as witness, I resolve that I will put my total energy into meditation!
Begin the first stage: for ten minutes, strike with the breath and awaken the inner energy. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. Put in total strength, take the breath in, throw it out. If the body begins to spring, do not worry. Deep breath, deep breath. Total strength must be used. Deep breath. See that no one stands idle—put in total strength. Deep breath. Strike fully; the inner energy will awaken. Strike. Take deep in-breaths, throw out deeply. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.
Seven minutes remain; put in total strength. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. The inner energy is awakening—dance—do not worry. Deep breath, deeper, and deeper. Energy will awaken throughout the body; the whole body will be filled with electricity—let it be filled. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.
Five minutes remain; put in total strength. Total strength—fill the whole body with breath. No worry, if dancing arises—do not worry. Deep breath. The body will sway—let it sway; it will tremble—let it tremble. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. Energy is awakening; every hair will begin to tremble; the body will sway—do not worry. Four minutes remain; I will become silent—put in total strength—then we will enter the second stage.
Deep breath, deep breath. Let no one fall behind, otherwise entry into the second stage will not be possible. Deep breath. Three minutes remain—put in total strength. Throw the whole breath out; take it fully in.
Two minutes remain—put in total strength. Deep breath, deep breath. Put total strength into breath—let not even a little lie sleeping. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.
One minute—then I will say one, two, three—then put in total strength, and we will enter the second stage. Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath. One! Put in total strength. Two! Three! Put in total strength.
Now enter the second stage. Let the body do whatever it wants. Let the body do whatever it wants. Dance, jump, weep, scream, laugh—whatever the body wants to do, let it do. Jump, dance, jump and dance in your place—do not move here and there. In your place jump, dance, weep, laugh, scream—whatever is happening—let it happen. Strongly, strongly, strongly, strongly, strongly, strongly. In your own place, in your own place—whatever has to be done—leap, jump, dance, weep, scream—but in your own place. Strongly, strongly. Tire the body completely. Strongly, strongly, strongly.
Perfect! Very good! Very good! Six minutes remain—put in total strength. Let the body’s illnesses flow out; let the mind’s diseases fall away. Laugh, weep, scream, dance.
Perfect! Strongly, strongly. Whatever is happening—let it happen, but let it happen strongly. Whatever is happening—if you are laughing, laugh strongly; if you are weeping, weep strongly; if you are screaming, scream strongly; if you are dancing, dance strongly—in your own place.
Five minutes remain—put in total strength; then we will enter the third stage.
Very good! Very good! Strongly, strongly. With total strength—scream, weep, laugh, dance. In your own place—do not move away—whatever you do, do it strongly in your own place. Four minutes remain—put in total strength—then we will enter the third stage. Strongly, strongly, strongly.
Three minutes remain—put in total strength. Dance, jump, scream, weep, laugh—whatever the body is doing—let it do. In your own place, let the body do whatever it is doing.
Two minutes remain—total strength. Bring a storm. Enter utterly into the storm. Whatever is happening—strongly. Whatever is happening—strongly. Strongly, strongly, strongly. The body will begin to appear separate—the body will appear utterly separate. Dance, jump, scream, weep, laugh—the body is separate. The more strongly you do, the clearer it will be that the body is separate. The more strongly you can do, the more the body will appear separate.
Very good! One minute remains. Now when I say one, two, three—put in total strength; set the body aside. One! Put in total strength. Two! Put in total strength. Three! Put in total strength; then we will enter the third stage. Scream strongly.
Now enter the third stage. Keep dancing; ask within—Who am I? Keep dancing; ask within—Who am I? Who am I? For ten minutes ask within—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Ask within, ask within—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Keep dancing, keep dancing; ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?
Within let only one question remain—from heel to head—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Sway, sway, dance—ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Tire the mind with asking—Who am I? Who am I?
See that those standing outside do not talk!
Who am I? Who am I? Seven minutes remain—ask your mind strongly—Who am I?—then we will rest. Whoever tires the most will go into the deepest rest. Who am I? Who am I? Sway, sway, dance; ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?
Very good! Ask—Who am I? If the sound comes out—do not worry—ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Ask strongly within—Who am I? If it comes out—do not worry. Who am I? Dance, jump, ask—Who am I? Who am I? Five minutes remain—put in total strength—then we will rest. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?
Very good! Very good! Jump, dance, ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? No worry—if the voice comes out, ask—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Four minutes—ask—Who am I?
See that those who are merely watching do not enter within. Watching gentlemen—stay outside.
Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Three minutes remain—put in total strength. Who am I? Dance, sway, ask—Who am I? Who am I?
Very good! Very good! A little time still remains—three minutes—put in total strength—Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Strongly—two minutes remain—put in total strength. Who am I? Dance, jump, ask—Who am I? One minute remains—all strength must be used. Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? One! Put in total strength. Two! Put in total strength. Three! Put in all the strength you have.
Now drop everything. Drop everything. Stop dancing, stop asking—enter the fourth stage. Do not ask, do not dance; drop, drop everything; for ten minutes become utterly void. Drop, for ten minutes go into the fourth stage. Drop—be silent. Do not ask now. Do not ask—drop—for ten minutes as if erased; for ten minutes as if dead. If standing—remain standing. If fallen—remain fallen. If sitting—remain sitting.
For ten minutes as if erased, finished. For ten minutes everything is empty. For ten minutes erased, finished—as if you are not. For ten minutes go into deep rest, and keep watching within what is happening. Within there will be only light upon light. Wondrous light will fill within. Light upon light, infinite light will fill within.
See that the onlookers do not move—wherever you are, stand silently, and do not talk. No one among the onlookers should talk—otherwise from tomorrow you will not be allowed to stand here.
For ten minutes as if dead, erased. Within only light remains. Within only light remains. Within only light remains. Light upon light, infinite light. As if erased—as a drop is lost in the ocean.
Keep looking within, keep looking within. See within, see within—let only the witness remain. Infinite light, infinite light remains. Streams of bliss will begin to flow, from the head to the feet streams of bliss will flow. Look within; only bliss will fill. In every pore, in every breath—only bliss will fill.
Only bliss remains. Look within, look within—through this bliss lies the path to the Lord. Through this light find His temple. Recognize well this glimmer of light. Recognize well this taste of bliss.
All is silent. All is empty. You are lost in some other world. This world has dissolved; some other world has begun. Within, look within, keep drowning—drowning. See—only light, only bliss remains.
All has become empty. All has become silent. Within only light remains. Infinite light—such light never known before. Unfamiliar, unknown light has filled. Only bliss, every pore, every breath filled with bliss. Take the taste of this bliss well; recognize it. In the coming three days, descend deeper and deeper into it. Each day go deeper. Each day you will go deeper. Resolve that in these three days its depth will go on increasing. In three days its depth will become immense.
Only light remains, only bliss remains. Only light remains, only bliss remains.
Now fold both hands, bow your head, and give thanks to Paramatma. Fold both hands, bow your head, give thanks to Paramatma. His grace is boundless! His grace is boundless! There is no end to His grace! His grace is boundless! Fold your hands, bow your head at His unknown feet. Give thanks. Pray that what has been received today may increase each day. Pray that what has been known today may go deeper each day. Pray that the resolve taken today may grow stronger each day.
His grace is boundless! From above, from below, from all sides His grace is showering! From all sides His grace is showering! His compassion is raining!
Now release both hands. Place both palms over the eyes, so that it becomes easy to open the eyes. Place both palms over the eyes; keep them there for a little while; take two or four deep breaths. Keep the hands over the eyes, take two or four deep breaths; then slowly separate the hands and open the eyes. If the eyes do not open, take two or four more deep breaths, keep the hands over the eyes, then open the eyes. Slowly separate the hands and open the eyes. Those who are standing, very gently sit down in your place. If you cannot sit, take two or four deep breaths, then sit. Those who have fallen, take two or four breaths, and slowly rise and sit in your place.
Do not talk. I have two or three things to say, then we will disperse. Sit silently in your place. If you cannot sit, take two or four deep breaths, then sit—do not hurry. If you cannot rise, take two or four deep breaths, then rise—do not hurry. Take two or four deep breaths, then sit quietly. Take two or four deep breaths, rise, and sit in your place.
Those lying down, who have fallen—let them take two or four deep breaths and sit in their place. Those standing, take two or four deep breaths and sit in your place. Those who have fallen, take two or four deep breaths, and rise to your place. Take two or four deep breaths and sit in your place. If you cannot rise, take two or four deep breaths, then rise.
Understand two or three things. In the morning come after bath. Most will remain in silence. Those who are not in silence—also come and sit absolutely quietly before meditation; avoid talking as far as possible. Come here and sit quietly. Come after bath. And in the morning do not put anything into the stomach; come empty.
The midday sitting will be of silence. For one hour you will sit with me in silence. At that time do nothing—just sit in silence with me. At that time too, whatever happens to anyone—let it happen. If someone starts screaming, someone starts dancing, jumping—whatever happens to whom—let it happen; do not stop anyone.
In the second session at noon, for an hour you can ask me personal questions. Those who have taken silence may also come then and ask. They may take that much liberty—that if they have something to discuss with me regarding meditation, if some experience has happened—do not speak of it to anyone at least for three days; whatever it is, say it to me. If you have to ask something, ask me. Once the experience becomes strong, only then it is proper to speak of it—otherwise harm occurs.
And in tomorrow night’s meeting, whatever questions you have, write them and give them to me—we will discuss them.
Some onlookers had gathered, and some of them kept coming inside in between. This will not do. From tomorrow no one will be allowed to stand here as a spectator. If you want to take part, enter the meditation; otherwise do not come here. If anyone is here as an onlooker, he will be sent out at once. Therefore only those who want to participate should come here, otherwise do not come. There is no need of onlookers here. And no one will walk here and there in between during meditation.
One more thing to remember: the space here is not very large, so jump and leap in your own place. Do not run. If you run, it will be difficult. There is not enough space; two or four may collide, fall—then their meditation will be broken. Keep to your own place; whatever you have to do, do there. Do not run.
You have done a very good experiment, as I said. At least fifty percent put in their full energy. There were results too. From tomorrow morning I would like the results to be one hundred percent, and one hundred percent of you to put in your strength. In three days, no one should return empty-handed. There is no reason to return empty-handed. Only if you do nothing will it be very unlikely. If you take one step, Paramatma is always ready to take a thousand steps. In these three days, everything within you can change. A power can descend within you—and all can be transformed.
Resolve, and do the full experiment for three days. The things I said earlier—think and take some resolves—fulfill them for three days. Keep as much silence as possible. Those who cannot remain fully silent—also keep as much quiet as you can. And if someone is sitting somewhere in the day, doing something, others must not in any way obstruct him.
May your resolve be fulfilled—this is my prayer to Paramatma.
Our meeting for tonight is complete.