Mahaveer Vani #27

Date: 1972-09-12 (8:15)
Place: Bombay

Sutra (Original)

चतुरंगीय-सूत्र
चत्तारि परमंगाणि, टुल्लहाणीह जंतुणो।
माणुसत्तं सुई सद्धा, संजमम्मि य वीरियं।।
कम्माणं तु पहाणए, आणुपुव्वी क्याई उ।
जीवा सोहिमणुप्पत्ता, आययन्त्रि मणुस्सयं।।
माणुसत्तम्मि आयाओ, जो धम्मं सोच्च सद्दहे।
तवस्सी वीरियं लद्धुं, संबुडे निद्धुणे रयं।।
Transliteration:
caturaṃgīya-sūtra
cattāri paramaṃgāṇi, ṭullahāṇīha jaṃtuṇo|
māṇusattaṃ suī saddhā, saṃjamammi ya vīriyaṃ||
kammāṇaṃ tu pahāṇae, āṇupuvvī kyāī u|
jīvā sohimaṇuppattā, āyayantri maṇussayaṃ||
māṇusattammi āyāo, jo dhammaṃ socca saddahe|
tavassī vīriyaṃ laddhuṃ, saṃbuḍe niddhuṇe rayaṃ||

Translation (Meaning)

The Fourfold Sutra
Four supreme attainments are, for beings, hard to obtain.
Human birth, true hearing and faith, and vigor in self-restraint।।
Karmas, indeed, are cast off, little by little, in due order.
Souls, attaining such excellence, come to the human state।।
In human birth attained, whoever approaches the Dharma, and purely believes.
The ascetic, having gained vigor, awakened, shakes off the dust।।
Wandering through samsara, when — after very long ages — the momentum of sinful karmas wanes, and as a result the inner being gradually attains purification, only then, somewhere, is a human birth obtained.
In truth, human birth has truly come only to the one who, hearing Saddharma, brings to it Shraddha, and in accordance with it makes Purushartha — becoming free of Ashrava, one brushes off and throws away from the inner being the entire dust of karma.
First, one or two questions.

Osho's Commentary

Now the aphorism:
Mahavira has said: “It is very rare that a living being in this world attains these four supreme blessings—humanity, hearing the dharma, trust, and the effort for self-restraint.”

Humanity does not merely mean to be born human—though that too is implied. To reach the consciousness of a human being is a long, very long journey. Scientists say: there is evolution—the first organism arose in the ocean and through to man. From fish to man—a long journey of millions of years. After Darwin the dignity of Indian religions shines much brighter. Before Darwin it seemed mere fancy to say it takes countless ages to reach humanity. In the West, Christianity had planted a fundamentally unscientific view—anti-evolutionary—that God created everything, all at once. Man created, horses created, animals created—in six days all done; on the seventh day, holiday, God rested. This is a childish idea. If everything is made, then evolution is out; man is made as man.

Indian religion is deep and scientific in this regard. Long before Darwin, India knew things aren’t fabricated, they evolve. Everything is evolving. Man was not born as man; he has evolved from plants and animals. But India said the soul, consciousness, is evolving. Darwin, for the first time in the West, shook Christianity and said there is evolution, not creation; “creation” is wrong, “evolution” is right. Existence was never “made”—it is continuously being made. It is a process. The story isn’t finished; the last chapter isn’t written; it is being written. We are in the middle; much has happened before; perhaps infinitely more will happen ahead.

But Darwin was a scientist; consciousness was not his subject. From the study of the body he concluded the body too evolved, step by step, over hundreds of thousands of years. He analyzed the human body, studied animals, and established the chain. People felt hurt—Christians especially; they thought God was father; Darwin said man is descended from the ape. From God as father to the ape as father—very painful!

But facts are facts. If we understand rightly, the first idea is more painful: that man is born of God and look at his condition! That is more tragic. If man has arisen from the ape, it isn’t tragic—it’s pleasing; man has evolved a little. To fall below one’s father is shameful; to go beyond one’s father is delightful. It depends on perspective.

Darwin showed bodily evolution, and even today the human body bears animal marks. When you walk, your right arm swings with the left leg—no necessity. Once you moved on all fours; the old habit remains. You can walk with both hands held still; even if your hands were cut off, you could walk. But when the left foot goes forward, the right hand swings forward—like dog, monkey, bull. They walk on four; you walk on two; but you once walked on four—your body remembers.

All our organs match animals; some adjustments have occurred, but upon the same templates. When you’re angry, you still grind your teeth—no need. Your nails itch to claw; fists clench. You once attacked with nails and teeth; the pattern remains.

When anger comes—there was a thoughtful Westerner, Alexander—he said: when anger comes, clench both fists under the table and open them hard five times; the anger will dissolve. Try it—it works. What happens? With hard clenching and opening, the body pattern completes; adrenaline and other juices are expended through expansion and contraction; you feel lighter. Even today, if someone tickles your belly, laughter bursts. Why there? Darwin said: those parts animals seize in attack must be sensitive, otherwise they die. Today no one attacks your belly, but a touch makes you alert—danger zone. The mouth too—parts where life can be seized are sensitive; hence ticklishness: highly sensitive—lightest touch and restlessness begins.

From the body’s study it is proved man is a link among animals—bodily. But Darwin did half the work. Only after Darwin could the West understand Mahavira, Buddha, Krishna. Before that, no. If the body develops, Mahavira’s point becomes meaningful: consciousness within also evolves—not an accident but a vast evolution from plant to animal to man. Two evolutions run in parallel: body and consciousness.

Up to now, man is the most evolved creature on this earth—maximum consciousness, most integrated body. Hence Mahavira says: to be human is rare.

You couldn’t even complain—if you were an insect, to whom would you say, “Why am I not human?” What means would you have to become human? Being human is such a huge event—yet we don’t notice, because we are.

Kafka wrote a story: a priest slept at night; in his dream he became a bug. The dream was so intense he didn’t feel it was a dream; he felt he had awoken—truly a bug. Panic seized him. He looked at his hands—there were none; insect legs. His body—not human—an insect’s shell. Inside, a little human awareness; around, a bug’s body. Then he lamented: “Now what?” Human language no longer made sense—ears of a bug; the world became incomprehensible—eyes of a bug—and within, a little sense: I am a man. For the first time he realized what he had lost. As a man what could he have known that now he never can. No way back.

He writhed, shouted, screamed—no one heard. His wife passed by, his father passed by—but who listens to a bug? His language made no sense to them; their words made no sense to him. We can understand his anguish—imagine yourself there.

Therefore Mahavira said: compassion toward living beings. Understand their suffering. They too have the same consciousness as you, but very undeveloped bodies. Understand their pain. Don’t crush an ant heedlessly underfoot. The same consciousness is there; only the body is different. The life that could develop into you is there—but the instruments aren’t. The body is the instrument.

This is why Mahavira insists on compassion—not only for nonviolence but for profound spiritual reasons. That bug crawling by is you. You were that. You crept like a lizard, an ant, a scorpion. Today you have forgotten; you moved ahead. But one who moves ahead and forgets those behind—such a one has no compassion, no love, no humanity.

So Mahavira says: compassion toward those behind is compassion toward yourself. Yesterday you were in the same state; had someone crushed you underfoot, you could not even protest, could not say, “What are you doing to me?”

Humanity may seem free, “given”—what is rare about it? Because we are human, we have no memory of another state. Those to whom Mahavira said this, he guided in meditation to recall past lives. When someone remembered he had been an elephant, a horse, a donkey, a tree, then he saw how rare humanity is. He recalled how, as horse, donkey, scorpion, tree, he longed: “If only I could be human, I would be freed of this trouble.” And now that he is human, he does nothing.

The past is forgotten for reasons. The big reason: if one was an animal last birth, the human brain cannot process animal memories—hence oblivion. Animal world, experience, language—all different; no correlation with the human; so it is forgotten. Thus those who recall past lives rarely say they were animals; they say they were man or woman. Because if one was man/woman last time, the memory is easier. If animal/bird, extremely difficult—language and realm change completely. Even if memories arise, they don’t feel like “mine”; they feel like some sad dream.

Mahavira says: to be human is rare. Even seen scientifically, it is clear.

Our sun is a family—the solar family. The earth is a small satellite. The sun is sixty thousand times larger than the earth. But our sun is a mediocre sun—childish. There are suns billions of times larger. Science has so far detected about three billion suns—three billion solar families. Scientists say: at minimum, life should exist on fifty thousand planets. In the spread of three billion suns, at least that many satellites should bear life—minimum. It could be more. This is minimal probability. If I toss a coin a hundred times, probability says fifty heads, fifty tails—roughly. Not fifty? At least five heads, and ninety-five tails. Taking the minimal, life should be on at least fifty thousand planets. There are billions upon billions of planets. And yet, of those fifty thousand, only on this earth has the possibility of man appeared. Such vastness—three billion suns—and that too just in our current knowing. This is not the end. As far as we can know; as far as our instruments reach. Now science says: we will never know the boundary, because the boundary recedes as we approach. The old dream of “knowing all” is gone. The more we know, the more we see there is further and further… In such an immense universe—beyond imagination—only on this earth is man.

Fifty thousand planets may bear life, but nowhere else does man seem to appear. And even here, man has existed only some hundreds of thousands of years. Before that there were animals, birds, plants; no man.

Even now, how many are men? Compared to the number of animals, birds, insects, three to three-and-a-half billion humans is nothing. So many mosquitoes can be found in one house—if it’s a properly Indian house!

The occurrence of man seems impossible. If man did not exist, we couldn’t even conceive that he could exist. With three billion suns and countless planets, with no trace of man anywhere—had there been no man here, could even the greatest imagination have thought him up? No way. Man is rare—merely his being is rare. But Mahavira’s “humanity” doesn’t only mean that. Even having become human, very few attain true humanity. That is rarer still.

We are born as “adam”—as human-looking creatures. Manushyata—true humanity—is an inner event; appearance has little to do with it. You can look human yet be a beast inside, a devil inside. Appearance guarantees nothing; it only indicates a possibility.

When one is born “as a man,” spiritually it means only this: if he wishes, he can attain humanity. Not that it is given—only a seed. He can waste it and die without ever becoming “human,” or he can become human.

What makes him human? What is the difference between animal and man? Between plant and man? Between stone and man?

Consciousness—nothing else. Compared to animals, man has the most consciousness. But measure man against his own potential—against Buddha, Mahavira—and he is unconscious. It is comparative. One becomes “human” as consciousness increases. That is why we say “man.” “Man” means: as much as mind is refined. We are all born as men; we must become human. The two are not identical. “Adam” is merely species-name—the sons of Adam.

The word is beautiful. Philologists say “Adam” is a transformation of “aham,” the “I.” The baby’s first sounds—ah, a-ha, ha—these became “aham,” I; and from these, “Adam.” The baby’s first cry becomes man’s name: Adam. The boy says “Ah”; the girl says “Ee”—hence Eve. Hebrew philologists say: Eve from “ee,” Adam from “ah”—man and woman.

“Man” in English is from Sanskrit “Manu.” We are not sons of Adam alone; we can become sons of Manu. Sons of Adam are all; Manu’s son is one whose mind has awakened—manushya.

Mahavira said: to be Adam is difficult enough; to be manushya—truly human—rarer still. As much consciousness as you have, in that measure you are human. How much awareness you live with—that is your humanity. Why? Because the more awareness, the more you separate from the body and connect with the soul; the more unconscious, the more you cling to body and disconnect from soul. Awareness is the bridge to the soul. Mind is the door to the soul. The more mind-awake you are, the more you move toward soul; the more asleep, the more toward body. Hence Mahavira said: whatever is done in unconsciousness is sin—because whatever reduces you to body is sin; and whatever makes you soulward is virtue.

Have you seen? It is hard to sin without some unconsciousness. To steal needs unconsciousness; to murder needs unconsciousness; even anger needs unconsciousness. If awareness arises, you will laugh—“What foolishness am I doing!” In unconsciousness, things go.

Thus some, when they want to sin properly, drink. With drink, one can sin merrily; awareness decreases. The less awareness, the more you become body—thing-like, animal-like. The more awareness, the more you become human—soul-like.

Humanity means: a flowing stream of awareness. Whatever you do, do it with awareness. Mahavira said: walk with discernment, sit with discernment, rise with discernment, sleep with discernment; keep watch; not a single moment should pass in unconsciousness; do not allow the body to become master even for a moment—let consciousness be the master. In that precise sense, you are human; otherwise, you are merely “man.”

To enlarge the gap between “man” and “human” step by step is to approach the soul. In widening this gap, the other three rare blessings help. To be human is difficult; to attain humanity, more so. Dharma-shravan—hearing the dharma—why call it so difficult?

Everywhere there are religious assemblies; gurus in every village! You needn’t seek them—they find you; if you don’t go, they come to your house. Any shortage of gurus? Any scarcity of scriptures? They abound.

Yet Mahavira says: hearing the dharma is rare! It doesn’t seem so. So many churches, gurdwaras, temples, mosques… three thousand religions on earth. And Mahavira says hearing is rare! There are a million Catholic priests; a hundred thousand Hindu sannyasins; Jain monks so many that householders feel strained to feed them. In Thailand, forty million people, two million bhikkhus. The government mulls licensing sannyas—“How will we feed so many?” And Mahavira says: hearing is rare!

Scriptures everywhere—Bible, Quran, Dhammapada, Mahavira’s sutras, Gita, Vedas—religion everywhere, scriptures everywhere, gurus everywhere. Everyone is “religious.” Mahavira must be out of his mind? And yet he calls hearing rare! The reason is: neither scriptures nor preachers give you dharma. Once in countless millions someone attains dharma. Among millions of “men,” someone attains humanity; among millions of humans, rarely does one attain dharma. And to listen to one who has attained—that is dharma-shravan: sometimes a Mahavira, sometimes a Buddha.

When Buddha was dying, Ananda wept, beating his chest. Buddha asked, “Why do you weep?” Ananda said, “Because even after listening to you, I did not truly hear. You were here, and still I did not see you. And now you will be gone—how many aeons before such a sight again? I weep because the journey will become so difficult. To see a Buddha again I may have to wait for ages.”

When Buddha was born, an old ascetic ran from the Himalayas to his town. He was ninety. He told the king, Buddha’s father: “A son is born in your house; I have come to see him.” The father was amazed—only two or four days old, and such a radiant, majestic, noble ascetic arrives! He thought: surely my son is extraordinary.

Shuddhodana lifted the baby, Siddhartha, to place at the ascetic’s feet; the ascetic said, “Wait—I have come to fall at his feet.” That ninety-year-old venerable fell at the feet of the two-day-old child and wept, beating his chest.

At death, Ananda wept; at birth, this ascetic wept.

The father was alarmed: “What ill omen is this? Is this a time to cry? Give your blessing! Why do you weep—will the boy not survive? Has something inauspicious occurred?”

The ascetic said, “I do not weep for that. I weep because my death is near, and this boy will be a Buddha. I will miss him. A Buddha comes only after aeons. I weep because I am late; my death nears; and who knows if when he is the Buddha, I will be born again.”

Dharma-shravan means: to hear from one who knows. Hence Mahavira calls it rare. To hear from one who has heard is not rare; to hear from one who has known is rare.

But the rarity is many-layered. First, the arising of a Mahavira, a Buddha, a Krishna is rare. Then, even if they are, even if they speak, your listening is rare. Thus he says hearing is rare, because even if Mahavira stands before you, it is not necessary you will hear. It is nearly certain you won’t.

Why won’t you? Because listening to Mahavira is preparing to erase yourself. No one prepares for that. In his absence he seems fine; in his presence he will feel like an enemy. His monk won’t feel like an enemy—he is your servant, dependent on you, living by your advice, a cog in your social machine—a sort of lubricant. You do mischief all day—lie, cheat—then sit at his feet in the evening; the mind feels soothed—“We aren’t so bad.” Ready again for tomorrow—lubrication.

Religionists keep society running—giving you the illusion you’re a bit religious, without you having to be religious. The priest is your agent—he helps you stay worldly and feel moksha is near.

But Mahavira or Buddha will feel like enemies, for whatever they say pulls away your foundation stones. Their words burn your house down; you will have to be destroyed. Only by dying to yourself will you hear them. Otherwise you won’t hear. Hence Mahavira: hearing is very rare. You do not consent to listen.

Again and again Jesus says in the Bible: “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” Everyone he spoke to had ears; the deaf wouldn’t come on their own. Yet reading the Bible, one feels he spoke among the deaf—always saying, “He who has ears…”; “He who has eyes, let him see.” Was he in a hospital of the blind and deaf?

He spoke among us—but we are blind and deaf. Our eyes deceive; our ears do not hear. And when Jesus speaks, we shut them completely—this man is dangerous. If his word enters, either it will survive, and you will have to die. We all want to save ourselves.

Saint Paul said: “Now I am not; Jesus lives in me. Now he is, and I am not.” Whoever truly hears Mahavira will one day have to experience, “Now I am not.” Only then does one hear.

Shravaka means: one willing to erase himself, to open the door for the master to appear within; who moves himself aside, becomes a zero—just a receptivity—and lets it come.

A curious incident. A great thief lived in a town where Mahavira arrived. He told his son, “Do whatever else—but avoid this Mahavira. Don’t go to hear him.”

The thief was honest; he wasn’t as “clever” as you. You would say: “Listen—and don’t listen.” He said, “Don’t listen at all. This is for wise people; not our trade. This man is dangerous. If you hear him, our old business will be ruined. Hard-earned gains—you’ll spoil them. And your signs don’t look good. Don’t even pass that way.”

The son obeyed—those days sons obeyed fathers. He avoided the road where Mahavira spoke. If from afar he saw Mahavira approaching, he ran away. An obedient son!

One day he slipped—walking absorbed, and Mahavira was speaking by the roadside. One sentence fell into his ear. He ran off: “This is big trouble.” Because he wanted to avoid, the attraction grew. Trying to keep his ears closed, an unintended sentence slipped in—and that one sentence overturned his whole life. He could no longer remain who he was.

What happened by a single sentence? A word of Mahavira is a spark—if it reaches within. And the spark need be small—there is always gunpowder within; the explosion is possible. But one may hear all of Mahavira and still no spark enters—we devise tricks to keep things outside, not letting them in. The best trick is to listen daily—you become deaf to it. Whatever one hears daily, one stops hearing.

Thus religious hearing is a fine way to avoid religion. Go daily to the discourse and sleep there. People mostly sleep in discourses; those who can’t sleep even find sleep there. Doctors advise insomniacs: “Go to religious talks.” Those with coughs and colds also go—to cough nicely there! It seems those with coughs are the only ones awake; or their coughing wakes a neighbor; otherwise, deep sleep.

Mulla Nasruddin was speaking at a religious meeting. A man got up to leave. Mulla said, “Friend, sit down—not because your leaving disturbs my speaking, but don’t wake the sleepers. Sit quietly. Have pity on the sleeping ones.”

Why do we sleep at discourses? Ears are calloused with the same things; we’ve heard it all a thousand times—nothing left worth hearing. This is the simplest trick to avoid religion. Dishonest ears—full of devices. Dishonest eyes—full of devices.

Even if Mahavira stands before you, you will only see a naked man. This is your eyes’ trick. It’s amazing: even with Mahavira in front, you see a naked man—not Mahavira. You see what you want to see, not what is. Hence villagers drove him away: “Don’t let a naked man enter!” They saw only his nakedness. So much was there—Mahavira stood utterly naked; not even a cloth’s veil—if only they had wanted, they could have seen right within. But only skin and nudity met their eyes.

We see what we want; we hear what we want. Hence hearing is rare. Then shraddha—trust—is rarer. Trust in what is heard! The mind raises a thousand arguments: “This is right, that is wrong.” But we never ask: who is saying “wrong,” who is saying “right”? This mind we listen to—where has it taken us? What has it given us—peace, bliss, truth? Nothing. Yet it is our constant counselor. It says, “This is wrong.”

We doubt the whole world; we never doubt our mind. Shraddha means: one who doubts his own mind. We suspect even Mahavira: “Who knows if he speaks rightly? What does he mean? If we let him stay the night, will he run off with a blanket? Who can trust a naked man?” But the mind within—we never doubt. We count on it.

What is there in it to trust? What is its record, this life and many births? What has the mind given? But it is “ours.” That illusion is sweet—we feel we are following ourselves. Even if following ourselves leads to the desert, we feel consoled: “At least it was my decision.” Even if another leads us to liberation, a hurt remains: “Ah—but I followed someone else.” That pains the ego.

Hence Mahavira says: rarer still is shraddha—trust. Trust means: when the word of dharma is heard, set your mind aside, bring acceptance to it, and begin to change your life. Without trust, there is no way to change. What is heard—when let in—the mind will raise a thousand devices: “There is an error here, a lapse there; why did he say this yesterday, that today?” Watch these questions carefully: they never resolve anything. Set them aside and behold the sky of a Mahavira or Buddha—that is shraddha.

Trust is rare; rarer still is purushartha—effort—for practice. To change your life according to what you heard and trusted is rarer still. Mahavira says: these four are rare—humanity, hearing, trust, effort. For if trust is impotent—“We agree; it’s right”—yet we continue as we are—then that impotent trust means nothing. We are very clever—so clever we even deceive ourselves. We say, “We completely accept what you say. We will do it someday—but not now.” “We wish for liberation—but not yet. Nirvana—wait a bit.”

Action must be now; hope can always be postponed to tomorrow. But action can only be now; beyond this moment, we have no time. Only this moment. The next moment is not guaranteed.

Whoever postpones to the next moment postpones to death. Whoever does it now uses life.

Thus Mahavira says: purushartha—the capacity, courage, leap to do what is true. Doing means entering danger. “What will happen?” People come to me: “I want to take sannyas, but what then?” I say: “Go and see. If you are courageous—and if nothing happens—come back. Why fear?” They say, “Come back? That too is frightening; what will people say? Even now—what will people say if I take sannyas? And if nothing happens and I return—what will people say?” Who are these “people”? What have they given you? What is your relation with them?

No, “people” are an excuse—a device to save oneself. In the name of “people,” we save ourselves and think: not today—tomorrow; not tomorrow—the day after. We keep postponing. Anger—now; meditation—tomorrow. Steal—now; sannyas can be taken any time.

This tendency, Mahavira calls lack of purushartha—effort. We are not “bad” because of strength—remember this. We are bad because of lack of effort. If we are thieves, it’s not because we are brave—it’s because we lack the effort to be non-thieves. If we lie, it is not because we are smart—it’s because truth needs great effort, great power. If we are irreligious, it is not due to strength, but weakness—because living religion requires great strength. Drifting into irreligion needs no strength.

Irreligion is like going downhill—give a push, you roll like a stone. Religion is like a mountain—you must climb. Each inch is hard; each inch requires dropping baggage; loads cannot be carried uphill. In the end you must drop even yourself—only then does anyone reach the peak.

Enough for today.

Questions in this Discourse

A friend has asked:
Osho, somewhere you said: If any statement does not harmonize with your thinking and intelligence, do not accept it—drop it. Whether it is Krishna’s, anyone else’s, or even mine. Many of your words feel pleasing and beneficial. I try, to the best of my ability, to bring change in my life through them, but I do not have the capacity to fully adopt the attitude of a disciple. I am benefiting from your pointers. If I make some progress and someday come before you with a prayer—yet without the disciple-attitude—will you help me or not? In the age of truth, Krishna said, “mām ekaṁ śaraṇaṁ vraja”—abandon everything and come into my refuge. If someone were to say this in today’s age, how workable and appropriate would it be?
In this connection, it is useful for seekers to understand a few things.

First: even now I say exactly this—accept only what your intelligence finds right, what is in tune with your discernment. What does not harmonize, leave it, throw it away. This applies even to the search for a master. But it applies to the search—not after the search is complete. While seeking, use all your discernment; think it through from every angle. But when, through clear seeing, a guru comes into tune and your intelligence says, “I have found the place where everything can be dropped,” then do not hesitate there—then drop.

If someone thinks that after taking on the attitude of a disciple he will keep bringing his intellect in inch by inch, then no movement will be possible. His condition will be like that of little children who bury a mango pit in the ground and then keep going back every hour to see whether the sprout has come up. They dig it up, pull it out. That seed will never sprout. Once you have planted it, you need a little patience and waiting. If you keep uprooting it again and again, there will be neither movement nor germination.

So when Krishna says, “mām ekaṁ śaraṇaṁ vraja,” it does not mean you should lay your head at anyone’s feet without thinking. Use all your intelligence, think it through completely. But when your intelligence and discernment say, “This is the right place to bow the head,” then bow.

There is no contradiction between these two points. It may appear so, but it is not. Arjuna did not bow his head blindly; otherwise the whole Gita would never have come into being. He tested Krishna in every way—thinking, reflecting, questioning, inquiring. He asked everything that could be asked. Only then did he bow at his feet. But if someone insists on keeping the search going endlessly, then things will remain stuck at curiosity, and the journey will never begin.

To begin the journey means the inquiry has come to completion. Now we take a decision—and the journey begins. Otherwise the journey can never start.

There is the world of the philosopher, where you can keep inquiring all your life. The religious world is different: there is room for inquiry there too, but it is preliminary. When inquiry is complete, the journey begins. The philosopher never sets out; he only keeps thinking. The religious person also thinks, but he thinks in order to set out. And if you must keep thinking afresh at every single step, then the journey will never happen. Reflection before decision; after decision, surrender.
This friend has asked: “Your definition of the guru’s station seemed wondrous and touched my heart, but I do not have the capacity to embrace the disciple’s attitude in its totality.”
Totally? Who has the capacity to receive anything totally? The human mind is divided; that is why we live by taking up only one note at a time. A total harmony has not yet arisen within us. That will happen only when all the fragments of the mind fall apart, separate, and a single consciousness is born. That consciousness is not yet there; therefore you cannot take any decision totally. Whatever decision you take is a percentage decision. You decide, “I will marry this woman”—is that total? One hundred percent? It will be seventy percent, sixty percent, maybe ninety percent. But ten percent still says, “Don’t do it—who knows what may happen!”

Whenever you take a decision, your whole mind cannot go along, because you have no such thing as a “whole mind.” Your mind is divided and will always be divided. The mind is in fragments. So a wise person does not wait, thinking, “When my entire mind agrees, then I will act.” Yes, a wise person does take care to act in the direction where the larger percentage of his mind agrees. But I have observed that many people, thinking their whole mind is not yet ready, end up deciding with the minority part of the mind. Decide you must; it is impossible to live without decisions. One thing is certain: you will decide—either in the negative or in the affirmative.

A man came to me and said, “Sixty to seventy percent of my mind is for sannyas, but thirty to forty percent is not. So I will wait; when my whole mind is ready, then I will decide.” I said to him, “You are deciding even now—you are deciding to wait. And for waiting you have thirty to forty percent of your mind, while for taking sannyas you have sixty to seventy percent. So you are deciding in favor of the minority.” Though he believed he was refraining from deciding, he was deciding. You cannot refrain from deciding. You have to decide—only the side is up to you.

When a man says, “I am not taking sannyas yet,” he imagines he has not decided. But he has. Not to take it is a decision. And there were thirty to forty percent for not taking it, and sixty to seventy percent for taking it. I would not call this a wise decision.

And there is another interesting point: whichever side you decide for begins to gain strength, because decision is support. If you decide in favor of the thirty percent that says, “I will not take sannyas now,” that decision will make the thirty percent tomorrow into sixty percent. And what looked like sixty percent today will become thirty percent tomorrow. So be alert: if you did not take sannyas when seventy percent of your mind leaned that way, how will you take it when only thirty percent remains? And one thing is given—you do not have a hundred percent mind. If you did, there would be no need to decide at all.

A hundred percent mind means a single note has arisen within you. That comes only in the final hour, when someone attains samadhi. Before samadhi, no one has a hundred percent decision—whether for small things like, “Shall I see a movie today or not?” or for the greatest, “Shall I go toward the Divine or not?” You always have a divided mind.

Second point: you will have to decide. This friend says, “I do not have the capacity to embrace the disciple’s attitude totally”—but do you have the capacity to avoid discipleship totally? If the issue is totality, do you have the capacity to avoid it totally? Not that either. For you also say, “If someday I come to you with a prayer, with a question, will you help me?” The very asking for help shows that even to avoid discipleship totally is not easy, not possible. Yet you are deciding—you are taking the decision not in favor of discipleship, but against it. Why? Because the ego finds no relish in discipleship; it finds it difficult. The ego relishes the opposite of discipleship.

To that friend—and to all—I would say: come in the mood of a disciple, or as a friend, or even as a guru; I will help you. But you may not be able to receive that help. A pot may say to the river, “I will come to you with my lid closed—will you give me water or not?” The river will say, “I am giving water anyway—come with your lid closed or open.” But the river’s giving is not enough; the vessel must also receive. Discipleship means only this much: the vessel has come to receive. There is that much readiness to learn. There is no further meaning to discipleship.

Language puts us into difficulties. In language it sounds like a sensible question: “If I come to you without the disciple’s attitude...” How can you come near without the disciple’s attitude? Physically, with the body, you can come near, but inwardly you will not. And to come without the disciple’s attitude means: “I am not ready to learn—still, will you teach me? I will not remain open—still, will you shower on me?” What can the rain do if the vessel is closed, or upside down? Buddha has said: some vessels remain empty even in the rain, because they are placed upside down. Lakes will fill, yet a small vessel will stay empty. Perhaps that vessel will think the rain is partial, not filling it. But to fill an upside-down vessel is beyond even the rain’s capacity.

No master has ever been able to pour anything into an upside-down vessel. It is not possible; it is against the very law. An upside-down vessel means you are fully prepared not to allow anything in. Nothing can be poured against your will—and rightly so; otherwise your freedom would be destroyed. Your own willingness opens you. Your humility keeps your bowl upright. Your disciple-mood—your longing to learn—increases your receptivity.

I will certainly help; but whether help will actually happen—whether it will reach you—cannot be said. The sun will rise for sure, but if your eyes are closed, the sun cannot open them. If the eyes are open, the light will be received; if the eyes are closed, the light will remain closed to you.

To this friend, we could put it this way: he says to the sun, “If I come to you with my eyes closed, will you give me light or not?” The sun will say, “Light is being given; my very being is the giving of light. There is no condition in that.” But if your eyes are closed, the light will not reach you. It will come up to the doorway of the eye and stop. The help will remain lying outside. How will it enter within? The inner capacity to receive—that is what is called discipleship.
A friend has asked: “Krishna once said, mam ekam sharanam vraja—‘take refuge in me alone.’ If someone were to say this today, would it still be effective or not?”
For those who have the yearning to learn, it will always be effective; for those who lack the capacity to learn, it will never be effective. In Krishna’s time too, he could say it to Arjuna—there was no way to say it to Duryodhana. Even then.

Satya Yuga and Kali Yuga are not epochs; they are names for your own disposition. You can be in Satya Yuga right now; Duryodhana was in Kali Yuga even then. They are names for the tendencies within a person.

If there is the capacity to learn, Krishna’s sentence is meaningful even today. If there is no capacity, it wasn’t meaningful even then. The capacity to learn is a hard thing. We don’t like learning; the ego gets badly hurt.

Yesterday a friend brought two foreign friends to see me, a husband and wife—both Christian missionaries. The moment they came in, one of them said, “I believe in the true God.” I asked, “Is there also a false God? Saying ‘I believe in God’ is enough—why add ‘true’?” With every sentence they would begin, “I believe in this… I believe in that…” I asked them: when a person knows, he doesn’t speak the language of belief. No one says, “I believe in the sun.” The blind can say that.

Ignorance speaks the language of belief. Belief’s language is not the language of trust. Trust is not spoken; it has a fragrance. Whatever is spoken, trust shines through it—but trust itself does not need to be spoken directly.

So I told them: to say in every sentence “I believe” shows that, within, there is deep disbelief. You don’t really know any of these things. They were startled. Then they shut their doors; they stopped listening to me. Dangerous! They began speaking loudly so that they wouldn’t hear what I was saying. Even as I spoke, they kept talking—talking nonsense. When one closes the inner door, coherence is lost. Then funny things happen. They said, “God is love.” I asked, “Then who is hatred?” They said, “Satan.” I asked, “Who created Satan?” They said, “God did.” Then I said, “Who is the real culprit? Satan creates hatred, God creates Satan—then who is the true mischief-maker? Then God is trapped. And if God creates Satan, who are you to go against Satan? And how will you go?” But by then they had stopped listening altogether; they had lost their awareness.

We can completely shut our minds. And those who fall into the delusion that they know—delusion!—their minds close.

Shishya-bhava means: to come in the attitude of one who knows he does not know. To come as a disciple is to come saying, “I don’t know; therefore I have come to learn.” Mitra-bhava—“friendliness”—means: “We know, you know; we’ll exchange a little.” Guru-bhava means: “You do not know; I know; I have come to teach.”

The ego has great difficulty learning. Learning feels very unpleasant. Therefore Krishna’s sentence will seem “not for this age.” But why bother about the age? In truth it feels “not for me”—hence the talk of the age. “Not for me.” But if it is not for me, then I should drop the very idea of learning from another.

There are only two ways. If you are to learn, you can learn only in the disciple’s attitude. If you are not to learn, then drop the very talk of learning. Choose one of the two: either “I will not learn at all—fine, I am content with my ignorance. I will keep trying on my own—if something happens, it happens; if not, not; but I will not go to another to learn.” That too is honest. Or, if I do go to another to learn, I will go with a total learning-stance. That too is honest. But if our “Kali Yuga” has any specialty, it is dishonesty. Dishonesty means: we will keep our feet in two boats. A friend writes to me again and again: “I want to take sannyas from you, but I cannot make you my guru.”

Then why take sannyas from me? What difficulty is there in making someone guru? And if there is difficulty, why take sannyas? Give sannyas to yourself. Who can stop you? But then the inner emptiness becomes visible, the ignorance becomes visible; to fill it, we want to learn from someone—and yet not admit we learned from someone.

No harm—no master is attached to your acknowledgment that you learned from him. But the one who isn’t ready for acknowledgment cannot learn at all. That is the obstacle. This is why Krishnamurti’s attraction becomes so precious—he suits our dishonesty. The total reason for Krishnamurti’s attraction is that he fits our dishonesty.

Krishnamurti says: “I am not your guru; I don’t teach you.” He also says what I’m saying isn’t teaching, it’s dialogue. “You’re not the listener and I the speaker; there is a dialogue between us.” So people have been listening to Krishnamurti for forty years. Their heads are filled with his words. They have become gramophone records. They repeat what Krishnamurti says. They keep learning from him, yet they won’t say, “We learned anything from him.” A lady keeps speaking much that she has learned from him. A very amusing thing happened. Krishnamurti’s adherents took her to Europe and America; they arranged small meetings. They were startled: she was a gramophone record—she was saying exactly what Krishnamurti says.

But however much one becomes a gramophone record, it is still only a carbon copy. One cannot be the original.

Those friends said, “You are saying exactly what Krishnamurti says; you are propagating him.” She was hurt. She said, “I am not propagating him; I am speaking from my own experience.” They said, “There isn’t a single word that is yours—what sort of ‘experience’ is this! It’s a settled loan.”

So the lady acted cleverly. She went to Krishnamurti—she herself told me this—and said, “Please tell me: people say that what I’m speaking I learned from you; but I speak from my inner experience. Tell me, am I speaking your words or my own experience?” What would a humble man like Krishnamurti say? He said, “Certainly. If you feel you speak from your experience, that’s perfectly right.”

That became a certificate. Now she goes around saying, “Krishnamurti himself said I speak from my experience.”

Even for your own experience you need Krishnamurti’s certificate for it to be authentic. The words are Krishnamurti’s; the certificate is Krishnamurti’s; and still not enough humility to say, “I learned from you.” This is our dishonesty.

I say to you: listen to Krishnamurti for forty or fifty years—if you do not go with the disciple’s attitude, you will learn nothing. You will learn words; no inner revolution will happen. Because one who lacks even the humility to bow his head at the feet of the one from whom he learned—let alone bowing—who cannot even say, “I learned from someone,” no revolution can happen in him. A stone wall of ego stands around him; no ray can reach within. Yes, words can be chalked on the wall; they will inscribe on the stone—but they transform no heart.

It is a very interesting matter: it is fitting that the guru says, “I am not your guru.” It is not fitting that the disciple says, “I am not your disciple.” Why?

Because there is only one sound basis between the two. If the guru says, “I am your guru,” that too is the language of ego. If the disciple says, “I am not your disciple,” that too is the language of ego.

True attunement happens where the guru says, “What kind of guru am I!” and the disciple says, “I am a disciple.” There the meeting happens. But we are dishonest. When the guru says, “I am not your guru,” he is simply saying, “I have no need to place my ego upon you.” We feel delighted: “Exactly—if you are not the guru, how can we be disciples? End of story.” End of story!

We accept either the guru who shouts from our chest, “I am your guru!” or no one—such a guru is useless. One who still uses teaching to nourish his ego is not worthy to be a guru. Therefore, he who says “I am your guru” is unworthy; the guru who says “I am not your guru” is worthy.

But the disciple who says, “I am not a disciple,” becomes unworthy of discipleship. The one who says full-heartedly, “I am a disciple”—by “full” I mean: as much as is in my capacity, not absolute—“with all my heart, I surrender”: such a disciple, and such a guru—one who denies his guruness, one who accepts discipleship—between them closeness arises. The nearness Mahavira spoke of yesterday happens then. There is a meeting when the sun is not eager to force its rays—it silently pours; and when the eyes do not forcibly close against the sun to drag it within—they simply remain open, saying, “We will drink the light,” and the sun does not even know it is giving light. Then union happens. If the sun says, “I am giving light,” it becomes an aggression. And if the disciple says, “I will not take the light; you give it”—security begins. To a defended disciple, nothing can be made to reach. It can be given; it will not arrive.

Understand one thing: there are only two ways to know what I do not know. Either I keep trying by myself—that is not easy; it is extremely difficult—or I take someone’s support—that too is not easy; it is extremely difficult.

If I prepare to walk on my own feet, then the path is of resolve, not surrender. However much I may have to wander in ignorance, I must avoid assistance; I must not go seeking help. Because seeking help is the very beginning of surrender. If help approaches from anywhere, close the door: “I will rot and die within myself, but I will not go to take help.”

Fulfill this with courage; it is very hard, very arduous. Sometimes it happens. Or, if you take help, then there must be surrender; drop resolve. The one who stands with one foot on resolve and the other on surrender will drown badly. We all stand with feet in both boats—therefore we reach nowhere; we only drag along. The two boats travel different courses, their disciplines are different, their inner postures are different. Keep this in mind.