Chapter #28 The Sun Behind The Sun Behind The Sun #28

[A sannyasin says he will be away one year because he has to go in the army.]

Finish it, mm? And it is good in a way. Don't take it like a burden, rather enjoy it... and it makes a lot of difference. The same thing can be a great misery if you go into it reluctantly, if you go against yourself, if you go unwillingly. When you go unwillingly, reluctantly, naturally it turns out to be a very bad, bitter experience. Then your reluctance is proved right so you become more reluctant; you become more reluctant, it becomes even more ugly, horrible, nightmarish. Then you go on self-fulfilling your own-prophecies. You will come out with the idea that you were perfectly right, that it was not right to go. But you created it. It has nothing to do with the experience itself; it was your interpretation. When something is happening, rather than being reluctant, flow with it. What is the point of fighting? Flow with it. Try to learn something through it if it is possible, and there is a possibility.

You may come to learn many things about yourself, because the army has existed on the earth as long as man has existed. It must relate to something deep in human kind. It is our violence manifested on the outside. It shows something about the inner status of man, that man is not yet at peace; there is war inside. that's why the war outside. The outside only reflects the inside.
So let that one year become a great experience.

Watch, observe yourself, others, and the whole structure of army -- because that is the structure of slavery. If you watch it well you will know how slavery is created and you can avoid creating it for others, you can avoid being a slave of others yourself. Then you will come out of this one year's experience wiser. It will be a long group, a therapy group. You will learn how people are tortured, how people are manipulated, how people are humiliated, how their minds are programmed and conditioned. Watch everything.

If you are reluctant, you will not be able to watch it. If you are fighting with something you cannot observe it, you don't have the perspective; you are antagonistic from the very beginning. Remain impartial, without any opinion, just to see the whole process. You will come out feeling thankful that you have been in it, because in a different way, this is the whole structure of the society; the army is a miniature.

That's what is going on in the society; in different forms, of course, in a more civilised way, with more polish, culture, sophistication. In the army it is raw. But if you want to see something you have to see it in the raw. When it is too polished it is very difficult to know what it is, because it has so many layers around it, so many curtains. If one wants to see something he should go to the very roots, should see it in the raw. The army is the raw society, the law of the jungle. And that same thing goes on vibrating in different forms.

The boss in the offices is the same, the politician the same -- the pecking order, mm? from the president to the policeman, everybody is dominating his own inferior and buttering up his own superior. On the one hand everybody butters up the superior and on another hand takes revenge on the inferior. who has nothing to do with it! From the president to the policeman that continues. When the policeman cannot find anybody, he goes and beats his wife; the wife cannot find anybody so she beats the child; the child cannot find anybody and he destroys the toy, and it goes on and on.

Just for that one year be an observer, be a witness and meditate. Use all opportunities -- the more you use, the better. Don't avoid, don't try to slip out of something. Just go into it,.and that one year will be a very very enriching experience. And let that be a fundamental principle of life: when you are going into something, when you have to go into something, don't go reluctantly; go happily, with the attitude that this is something to be done, something to be learned, then why not do it perfectly? Why not do it well? Why not squeeze something out of it? Then a person can go on learning and learning. And that kind of person learns even while he is dying; he squeezes truth out of death too. He does not die unwilling. He has forgotten the language of reluctancy; he goes whole-heartedly into everything. Even if death is coming, he relaxes, goes into it, sees what is happening, and in that very relaxation, he transcends death. To transcend anything, the fundamental, the golden rule is, to go into it in a very very relaxed attitude, in a kind of let-go. Then nothing can destroy you, not even death, so what to say about the army? Nothing to be worried about. But whenever you find time continue to meditate.

[To the girlfriend of the sannyasin going to the army:]

Women are still fortunate -- they don't have to go to the army. But sooner or later they will be going because the lib movement will manage it. To be really equal to men you will have to go into all kinds of nonsense, so meanwhile you can enjoy! Continue to meditate...

[A sannyasin says: I'm staying at home all the time and just doing little things, not going out and just being... ]

Perfectly good! Mm? that's how a meditator should be. Enjoy small things, that is real life: real life consists of small things. It is only the mind which thinks of great things. Great things don't exist. God and nirvana and paradise don't exist, they are just mind creations! What exists are small things: cleaning the house, cooking the food and taking a shower. These are the real things, and if you can enjoy these, you are enlightened! But don't become enlightened, because right now a few people are becoming enlightened! Mm? (laughter) This is not the right time to become enlightened, otherwise you will be thought crazy.

[She adds: Since the sufi dance darshan, I feel a hole here (indicating her throat). At the beginning it was like burning... I've become used to it.]

Let it be there, mm? It is just an opening of a passage. Nothing to be worried about -- something good. Just accept it and it will become part of you and you will forget about it.

Our passages are closed, our energy passages are not open. When one passage becomes open and the blocks disappear, it looks like a hole, like a tunnel, because before it was full and now the block has disappeared, the tunnel is open. So you will feel it like a hole. But it is good; it is a way for the energy to move more easily. Your energy is going perfectly well.

So if sometimes a few more passages open, don't be worried. A moment comes when you feel your whole body like a hollow bamboo, the whole body becomes just hollow. But that is the greatest moment; then god starts flowing into you. You become a flute. Then all that happens in your life is a song, a divine song, a bhagavatgita. But this is the beginning. Many more passages will open, and then one day the whole body will be nothing but an empty passage. Then god can move into you, out and in, with no barriers. Accept it, enjoy it. Go on doing small things and make them meditations, prayers. Respect small things. There is no higher religion than respecting small things of life, because life consists of small things. And god is very interested in small details. Good!

[A sannyasin wonders if she should return to Germany; she is in the middle of a sculpture and pottery course.]

That is worth studying -- I will not disrupt it, mm? Go and continue your studies. Whenever you can come, just come and then go back, but finish your studies because I will need a few potters and sculptors. In the new place we will be doing many things and sculpture will be one of the most important things. So get into it as deeply as possible. lust don't go so-so, go whole-heartedly into it so we can create something out of it Your skill will be very very useful to the new commune. We will have guilds there; guilds of potters and guilds of carpenters and sculptors and artists, so there will be different dimensions to creativity.

[A visitor says: I come from Japan to see you and to know myself. I want to be more sensitive.]

Mm mm. That will be possible, that is not difficult. The easiest thing in the world is to know oneself... because you are already that! You are not to go anywhere to know yourself; you have just to look within. You are the knower and you are the known. The only thing that one has to learn is how to close one's eyes. That is a little difficult (chuckling) because our eyes have become focused on the outside. We have forgotten how to look within, we only look without. It is a kind of paralysis of the eyes; they cannot turn back. Be here, we can loosen them. They can become liquid and you can move any way you want.

[Osho gives him sannyas.]

This will be your name: Swami Atmananda. Atma means self, the innermost self, the supreme self, and ananda means bliss -- bliss that arises out of one's own being. And there is no other bliss. One can go on seeking and searching for lives together, but all is in vain. and you look inside for the first time and it is there.

[A sannyasin said he has had several injuries to his feet and face since taking sannyas. Osho gives him an 'energy darshan']

I don't see that the problem is in the face or in the feet. It is just that you are vulnerable over the whole body. And this vulnerability can be used in a creative way. If you don't use it in a creative way it will bring much harm to you; that's what has been happening. You don't know what to do with it.
You are simply vulnerable, you have a very delicate energy.

It is not wrong; in fact, only after many groups do people come to this vulnerability. You are very sensitive. And the feet and the face are the two polarities, the two extremes, so you experience it there; otherwise you are vulnerable on the whole, but on the extremes it is always more exposed. You are in a good, a very good situation; you just have to learn how to use it. For example, a vulnerable person, if unaware, is bound to be more accident-prone than others. But a vulnerable person, if aware and conscious, can become a great meditator, can become a great poet, can become a great painter, musician, dancer. If he is not aware then only will something like accidents, infections, illnesses, evil influences enter him. If you become aware, you can allow good, wholesome impressions to enter. Your doors are open; now it depends on you whom to invite, the friend or the foe. You have not invited the friend yet. And this is something to be understood: god comes only when you invite him; devil comes uninvited. All that is great comes only when you call for it, when you are thirsty for it, and all that is lower comes on its own; steals into you.

So I don't see that this is a problem. You need not have any grounding or anything; you need more creativity. And once you look in the right direction things will start changing. Start doing something with this vulnerability. Lie down and absorb the sun, look at the trees and absorb the greenery, listen to music and absorb it. Be filled by all these beautiful things that are available. Then you will not be empty and these things that are happening will not happen.

You have a very aesthetic energy, a very feminine energy, and you have ideas of a male mind; that is creating the trouble. You want to be very strong. Strength is vulgar. You need not be a mohammed ali; it is vulgar. Become a buddha! This is not a problem; just start enjoying. Great things are available, good music is available -- Beethoven, and Mozart and Wagner and classical music. Enjoy these things; don't listen to jazz, mm? -- that will be jarring to your being. Look at great paintings. Don't look at Picassos; that will be bad for you. Read great novels, poetry; go into nature, and absorb.